Guess how much money my partner spent..

[Itssnotunusual]

...On his fucking Xbox in the past year. I'm furious. Absolutely furious.

What an absolute tool.

get on to CMS today -

Wow this is so disrespectful.

It doesn’t matter what the addiction is, if it takes money away from the family and causes them to lie then the relationship needs to end.

I love gaming but there’s no way I would spend that amount as it would affect my DC.

I don't blame you for being furious!! I'm glad you live with your parents and will have good support.

And sell his bloody x box and games

I'm so sorry OP, that's a huge loss to your saving for a deposit, he clearly wasn't on the same page. If you weren't saving for a deposit that could have been a family holiday, it shows his priorities are self centred. Is he remorseful or defensive? Impulsive spending and addiction is often down to poor attachments in childhood or neurodiversity. I'm not excusing him, and I think this is too much stress for you and you'd be better off without him, but if he is remorseful and wanting to change I'd suggest he needs to look into the reasons he behaves like this and be proactive himself about seeking help for the sake of his relationship with his son.

I agree you should not let him pack the x-box! Sell it! I doubt you'll see much maintenance from him.

Who cares??

He's a shit father and partner to have wasted that much money when they are trying to save up to move out of the op's parents house. End of discussion.

Well done for kicking him out. It seems he's going from one addiction to another and that won't stop. Ever. Thank goodness you still have a roof over your head. Onwards and upwards OP!

Whilst very irresponsible financially he is an extremely loving parent so I hope child maintenance will not be an issue.

I'm heartbroken for both myself and my little boy as I do truly love him- else I would have ended things long long ago. My little boy adores him. I'm lucky to be blessed with a very close and loving family who will no doubt see me though this.

@Itssnotunusual I will just say this to you - my father is like that and he is 74 now, never changed, never will. People like this are emotionally immature and will not get the strength to better themselves. They end up in a mess and always find someone who's going to drag them out of it. Don't look back and stay strong, he'll do everything to get you back (life is just too tough if he has to do everything himself).

Just out of interest what is Xbox money spent on? New games? That's a lot of games?

He is a loving partner also- he's often told me how much he adores me and I do truly believe that.

I went and had a big cry over a hot chocolate whilst he packed. I feel like a prize idiot for letting it all go on this long but finding out about the Xbox purchases was the last straw.

For those curious it's largely been in game purchases on games like FIFA, NBA and a couple of car based games.

vitahelp
Anyone else get the ick from grown men being this obsessed with computer games😑
@vitahelp

I think it would be fine for a chap to have an occasional go at playing with his child on a computer game but to play it on his own is just odd.

Give me a man who can do a crossword and play chess, any day!

I knew it would be FIFA that game drives me nuts. My DC have spent stupid amounts on that trying to pack the best player.

So £80 a week roughly over a year. Yes I would be cross but I suppose does he have any other weekly expenditure. Dh smokes and has other hobbies and would easily spend that in a week.

Yeap

Nope
Same ick

A lot of smoking, he drinks a lot too. Usually cheap supermarket stuff but a lot. I broached the fact he was nearly what would be considered clinically an alcoholic a while ago. The drinking calmed down for a bit but then increased again. You'd never know he'd had a drink though from the way he acts.

Good for you knowing your boundaries and asserting them.

Your a fab mum dojng this to protect your ds.

I wish you well

Give me a man who can do a crossword and play chess, any day!

Many men - and women - can play video games, and ALSO do crosswords and play chess. Amazing. 🙄

Good decision to leave him OP.

Do you have a plan? So many people on here with great advice who will be along soon x

I regret to inform you that there is a massive crossover between men (and women) who solve crosswords and play chess and those who play computer games. I would absolutely love to know what you consider to be the difference between a puzzle on paper or a chequered board and on a screen.

Where exactly are you categorising 'chaps' who play chess online, by the way?

Going forward, I really hope you do a lot of work on yourself to figure out why you allowed this relationship to continue for so long. If you don't, you are very likely to find yourself in the same situation in the future. You are not a rehab for broken men, and you cannot fix them.

I play video games
Also play a lot of chess
Plus crosswords/puzzles etc

It's all about a balance. Is it only an ick to some because they aren't involved? I love my own time, plus it's as much about chatting to friends as it is with the game who i never normally see due to life commitments.