Friends Baby Shower Nightmare

[Popcornlassie28]

Hey Everyone.
I am in a sticky situation and don’t want to come across as a mean person but don’t want to be walked over either.

My friend is currently pregnant with her third baby and asked me to help her Mum with organising her baby shower.
She gave me her Mum’s number to message her and her Mum stated she had organised most things but left me with some loose ends to organise (decorations, shower games, cake etc).

I found her quite unresponsive to messages and has been hard to organise with but ploughed on through. Anyways, she left all of my messages on read even ones that are asking simple questions such as ‘What time do we get the keys to the venue so we can start setting up?’

She told my friend she’s found me unhelpful (I’m so confused as I’ve been left on read on every message with zero communication) and doesn’t like what I have done so far and my friend has asked me if I could return some things and re order. It’s partly a surprise so she said she couldn’t go into detail about what it was as she ‘didn’t know.’

I sent a message to her Mum and was again met with nothing. Until today, in the WhatsApp group chat for the event she sent a message out saying that she’s organised everything by herself with NO help and to ‘bear with her’ but she’s proud of what she’s achieved by herself.

1. She hasn’t done it by herself and some of my money has gone into this? Why would she say this?
2. All other people invited thought I was helping so I feel like I don’t look like a good team player and left the task to her. This isn’t true but it’s being made to look like this.

I am really confused. I don’t want to message her Mum and upset her (she wouldn’t reply anyways) and I’m worried my friend will be upset with me.

I feel awkward to even attend!!
I don’t even know details to even help set up so I would now be turning up at the same time as the other guests and I’m worried there is going to be a situation.

EDIT: I’ve only met her Mum twice before and she’s been fine with me on both times.

Enjoy the cake.

The Mother sounds like hard work.

Please do this so everyone sees how horrible she is.

She’s done all what by herself, organise a baby shower for her own daughter big deal! Who does she expect to organise it! She’s loving the drama and it is very grabby to have a third baby shower.

That aside, to cover yourself and stnad up for yourself without falling out, just post on the group chat,

please let me know if there is anything more I can do. I,’m not sure you’ve been getting my messages. So far I got the …..cake, decorations….. is there anything else I can help to sort out. Also please confirm what time we can get access to set up.

she can’t then ignore you on the group chat. Then hold your head up high and ignore any tensions. In future I would stay clear of her Mum.

What an absolutely ridiculous situation and I have to say that i would not have let it get so far down the bonkers road before I would have (a) personally phoned friend's Mum to ask wtaf she was playing it, OK politely if you had to! Then (b) informed your friend exactly what was going on and how you felt about it! It's obvious that Mum was peed off with your friend for asking you to 'help' and she clearly resented it but didn't want to tell her daughter!! Why oh why can't people just say what they want and mean, life would be so much simpler...Forget 'team playing' etc, just find a way to let it be known that you did your best to fulfill your friends request but that Mum was having none of it!! I also agree that baby showers per se are an abomination and as for having one for your 3rd baby well...greedy and needing attention? Much!!!🙄

This 100%!!
id even put in the group chat that as she’s got everything covered you’ve cancelled the cake and got a refund and now feel so silly because you didn’t realise she’d ordered the cake already because she had asked you to do that at the same time as the decorations etc that you’ve already passed over … hope they arrived ok?…. See you all there!

then I probably wouldn’t bother going! Ungrateful bastards

Just finished reading everything.
@Popcornlassie28 make
sure you get to the cake shop nice and early so you get the cake…. Wouldn’t surprise me if the greedy bitches try
to beat you to it!

I would have to let everyone know you were asked to help and ignored, I would screen shot all the messages onto the what's app site and say to her mum what part of this was I not involved in as I'm confused...so everyone including your friend can see..then say no worries you clearly did not want my help, so I will leave it all to you, just pay me the money for the things I brought that you now don't want

Did you by a gift for the new baby? Can you return it if you did?

I would have to reply to the what’s app message and say I think there has been some miscommunication as you have helped but had no reply from x mum.

The mum sounds really rude and nasty!

Personally I’d screen shot the messages and repost on the group asking if she got any of your messages and about the cake and things you have paied for on what has been chosen? She sounds like a martyr and the party is really about her and not her daughter..

@Cazareeto1 OP already did that 2 days ago

Sounds like a nightmare scenario. Not sure how you tackle this.
Maybe enlist he help of other guests and work together on the parts of the party you have been asked to organise.

So the Mum asked you to help, didn’t reply to messages then kicked off that the decorations were the wrong shade (what’s the difference between baby pink and pale pink??)
They asked you to buy an expensive gift and cake.
Then the bride, who thought it was appropriate to request only new gifts for her third baby, said it was 50% your fault.
I think this is a very easy one.

How annoying. Screenshot all the ignored messages and show your friend, and anyone else who believes the mum. Petty, but whatever.

Her mother sounds like a total tit. It's a shame you can't cancel the cake as that's the expensive bit! Let her keep the decorations, assume she's sorted games etc, and sit and eat the whole cake with a cake fork and leave them to it.

@Popcornlassie28 I have just spent an hour reading through nearly 400 messages on this thread and love how supportive everyone has been. My blood is boiling for the you and I can't believe your "friend" and her mum have done this to you. You will definitely be better off without these people in your life. I can't stand baby showers or big massive destination hen do's etc. I'm curious as to if anyone else replied in the group chat when you sent the screenshots ? It also just goes to show she was intentionally ignoring you as she was quick enough to reply privately when she didn't like being outed. Enjoy the cake !!!

This… PLUS

put pictures of the cake being eaten!

fuck em.

I agree.

Learn from this.

Of all her friends, why were you the one she chose to stiff for decorations AND a cake!

Pregnant friend will know exactly what her mother is like and has no doubt set up OP as a human shield. She is never going to side with OP against her mother.

Yeah I wasn’t reading through 16 pages…🤦‍♀️

You can click ‘see all’ and just read OP’s 23 posts.

any update on what you finally decided to do?
Just come across this in an open tan on my phone and couldn’t resist asking 😀