Neighbours in their gardens, is it cultural?

[Marine59]

Hi guys I have moved to England and have really settled in very well and am enjoying myself and my job a lot. There's just one problem I am really struggling with and I want to know whether I need to get over myself because its a cultural difference or whether it's a real problem.

So in my country people are festive and I believe myself to be too! But where I live, it's rows and rows of houses with very small and cute gardens, maybe each garden is 20m2. And lots of the neighbours (mainly young ones from their voices) are what I consider to be disrespectful - music and television from inside at maximum volume with windows and doors open, going in their garden in big groups and speaking and laughing at maximum volume...

Of course I understand having a good time, but I'm used to people going out for this or doing it inside, and then when outside lowering their voices.

It means when you're outside in your garden you are basically like as if you were in their party. I don't mind noise of course, that's normal! For example my neighbours right next to me, they have barbecues and eat outside, but they really understand that our gardens are small so they bring their voices down just a tiny bit I can tell (in fact they apologised to me for their barking dog which I thought was so kind! It didn't bother me at all, it's just an animal).

I don't want to be a bitch and I'm just wondering whether I need to accept this and get over it because it's a cultural difference or whether this is considered bad practice? Is it normal? I think maybe it is because on my street I'd say I have heard maybe 4 different houses do things this way. What do you think?

Yes it's normal to invite friends and family over for BBQs in teh summer.

YANBU but unfortunately it's like this in a lot of places here 😕

Ha ha! Good question!

l think this is a relatively recent thing. I don’t remember it when l was little it in other houses.

We have a guy on his phone on loudspeaker every day from 8:30 until 10. I drives me mental. Also, Britain is closely built and l think that contributes.

You can have people round without being inconsiderate or deliberately loud, though.

tbh It’s kind of normal. I don’t mind any noise (except the constantly barking dog a few doors down) during the day. But I do get annoyed if they carry on being so loud past about 10 at night.

What do you think gardens are for? As long as its not late at night I don't see the problem.

Unfortunately it's become socially acceptable in the UK to make a lot of noise and not care how it impacts any neighbours. We are sadly becoming increasingly selfish.

Usually people shut up at 10

*one can, I mean. We are tightly packed in this country and stress levels are high, but I don't think they're good reasons for being boorish and spoiling others' enjoyment of their gardens. I'm aware I sound 100 years old but I don't care!

@Ohhelpicantthinkofaname
I don't mind the dogs because its a kind of rhythm and also they can't know it's annoying!

its normal, made worse by U.K. being a small island with a lot of people so homes and gardens are close together.

I don’t mind normal barking dogs. This one can go on for hours and no one tells it to be quiet. It’s super loud and you often hear other neighbours shouting at it to shut up.

m loads of dogs down our road. They all bark from time to time, but this one is something else. 😂. I don’t blame the dog, but the owners (who are in the house) should be stopping it.

@Plankingplanks
I think gardens are for growing plants, relaxing and having friends for drinks but knowing that you are sitting underneath somebody else's window at the same time, so not speaking at maximum volume?
Lucky for me it's just me and i have normal hours, but I always wonder on this street what does somebody do if they work at very early hours, or if they have a baby

I always wonder on this street what does somebody do if they work at very early hours, or if they have a baby

In my experience, seethe silently

@Ohhelpicantthinkofaname
It's true there are so many dogs here. I think it's really cute how almost all shops and restaurants leave bowls of water outside for them, I haven't seen so many places do that before

It’s pretty normal in summer as long as it’s not going on late or super early I wouldn’t mind.
Summer generally only lasts at best 2 weeks then you’ll not hear a peep from your neighbours as it’ll either be freezing cold or pouring with rain so everyone will be back inside

Where do you live where Sumer only lasts two weeks? Summer lasts for months

@Gymmum82
OK. One reason i actually came to England is because I love the rain so I hope that will happen soon 😁

You don't worry about it cos one day your kid will be screeching and annoying everyone in revenge

Yeah, several of our neighbours are the same. They seem to have no self-awareness nor consideration for others. Ours were loudly slamming doors and screaming their goodbyes to one another last night at 1:30am 🙄

I grew up down the road and it wasn’t a standard thing then, but it certainly seems to be now. I’m with you.

Sadly more and more younger people I'd say generally under 40 ish think it's their god given right to do whatever they want with absolutely no regard for the people living around them

I have a neighbour opposite and whenever the weather is a bit nice they invite multiple people around for a party. Since 1pm this afternoon kids have been screaming...and I mean screaming with adults talking loudly over them.. then about 3pm they started with music.

So annoying and inconsiderate. I can't understand these people that just don't care. I'm so conscious of noise that may annoy people. I just want to sit in my garden and enjoy it.

I even heard her shoo everyone home about 8.30pm as she didn't feel well. Iv half a mind to get a chainsaw out!

So which country are you from @Marine59

I think it’s because we live inside for 9 months of the year and then summer comes and everyone lets loose. I don’t hear my neighbors or anyone else otherwise.

I was talking about this with a friend yesterday! Both of us noticing how the volume level of garden socialising has increased noticeably recently. People talking SO loudly that I know way more about my neighbours than I had any desire to, laughing raucously and music blaring. Outside a road of victorian semis and terraces so the gardens are small. I've lived here 25 years and it's only in the last couple of years it's been noticeable.