Neighbours in their gardens, is it cultural?

[Marine59]

Hi guys I have moved to England and have really settled in very well and am enjoying myself and my job a lot. There's just one problem I am really struggling with and I want to know whether I need to get over myself because its a cultural difference or whether it's a real problem.

So in my country people are festive and I believe myself to be too! But where I live, it's rows and rows of houses with very small and cute gardens, maybe each garden is 20m2. And lots of the neighbours (mainly young ones from their voices) are what I consider to be disrespectful - music and television from inside at maximum volume with windows and doors open, going in their garden in big groups and speaking and laughing at maximum volume...

Of course I understand having a good time, but I'm used to people going out for this or doing it inside, and then when outside lowering their voices.

It means when you're outside in your garden you are basically like as if you were in their party. I don't mind noise of course, that's normal! For example my neighbours right next to me, they have barbecues and eat outside, but they really understand that our gardens are small so they bring their voices down just a tiny bit I can tell (in fact they apologised to me for their barking dog which I thought was so kind! It didn't bother me at all, it's just an animal).

I don't want to be a bitch and I'm just wondering whether I need to accept this and get over it because it's a cultural difference or whether this is considered bad practice? Is it normal? I think maybe it is because on my street I'd say I have heard maybe 4 different houses do things this way. What do you think?

No it's not normal OP is selfish ignorant shits who could not give a dam about any one else. People who claim it's BBQ season obviously don't give a shit about their neighbours.

Unfortunately the majority of people are selfish any don't give a shit about anyone else as long as they have a good time.

Ha ha, welcome to the UK OP, where many people don't give a toss whether they disturb their neighbours with noise.

Whats your home country? I might move there for some peace and quiet 🤫

It's the fireworks that get me rain shine winter or summer at least twice a week for hours.

It’s the music for me. No problem with people enjoying themselves and their gardens, but there’s literally no need to have music blaring well into the night. Shit music at that. Massive problem round here.

@PrtScn
Yes, the other day i was so pissed off with fatboy slim man I went to the top room and looked out the window to look at the garden, and i saw the woman right next door to him, she had come out into her garden with a plate and wanted to eat her lunch in the sunshine I guess, but it was so loud (I can't express how loud it is) she just went back inside with her plate

The British go crazy when we have more than two consecutive days of high temperatures. It’s normal for us!

It’s completely normal, but don’t worry, it doesn’t happen for many months of the year! In the winter it’ll be like your neighbours have vanished!

Just wait til you hear them having sex in the afternoons...

Not really, no. Plenty of people manage to enjoy the sunshine without blaring music or extremely loud conversation.

This is why I hate the summer. People lose all their manners and become inconsiderate.

I'm struggling with this issue this year. I can't complain as overall I know inside our house we are definitely noisier with kids, musical instruments etc. Our neighbour never complains. He however sits out drinking, smoking, listens to music on sunny days and it's really spoilt our garden. We're tightly packed in our street. if his music (or more recently his podcasts!) Is on then we all have to listen to it. It's not even that it's bad music. I'm just a boring old fart who likes the sound of birds and quiet conversations! Dreamily looking at detached houses with land on Rightmove at the mo !

Yes it's one of the worst things about the UK, people are incredibly inconsiderate, English people are amongst the worst in the world

@SmirnoffIceIsNice
My country is France and of course we also have noisy assholes there too. But I'm serious, I grew up in a hot part of the country where we lived in an apartment and everybody was always on their balconies and you could hear them, but just murmuring and some music coming through the windows quietly, not crazy laughing and screaming all the time. Of course now and then there would be parties and it could be loud, but these aren't parties just people....shouting at each other when sitting next to each other?

Here only people not from the UK behave as you've described.

Having this here right now, mummy and daddy are away so twat features has a gathering and are shouting in the garden, come midnight they will be told to STFU.

Every house I have had in the UK has had arseholes neighbours, sold my last house cos of the house over the back now another set next door. Being detached doesn't help either when they are outside.

I think as a society we are getting noisier, and maybe less considerate. I have a french cousin who remarks on this whenever he comes here, especially about the noise volume in restaurants. Round where I live on an average weekend day I have neighbours playing Polish rap, a guy doing conference calls to his home country in the garden and that goes on easily for 2 hours , a dog barking on and off , next door neighbour having a drinks party, and teenage kids partying.

Think there has been a decline in respect and consideration people have towards their neighbours. I was brought up to always been considerate about any noise I was responsible for, what time it was etc. The problem is now there's the concept now that the garden is 'another room' to be used, but of course there are no walls or ceilings that absorb/muffle the noise. And people are more inclined to entertain at home, which when I was a kid was almost unheard of.

I came in to write a much less nice post about the same issue , but seeing the responses probably best that I didn't 😃as everyone seems to be saying it's fine for others to inflict their noise.

We're backing onto some neighbours that play loud music until late and shout at their kids as well...it makes cross. I tell myself I should let it go as there's nothing I can do, I'm sure if we said something it would only make things worse. I tried to ring the noise hotline tonight and they did go round but the music went straight up again when they left. just miss the days when people were a bit more respectful to each other . My little baby is starting to talk and I hate that she's exposed to their loud swearing when our garden is otherwise a lovely haven.

Sigh... solidarity !!

Not true in the slightest.

Racist, much?

@Abracadabra12345 in the north of England. Maybe it lasts months in the south. Where I am you’ll be lucky if you get a couple of weeks of sun. Maybe the odd extra day here and there. But a lot more rain and grey skies. Last year we had a couple of weeks in June. About 3 really hot days in July and that was it done

You like to grow plants and be silent in your garden, others like to host bbqs & play music. Both joyful, harmless things. As long as it’s not before 10am or after 10pm what my neighbours (who pay for and maintain their own property) do in their garden is none of my business.

This. Our neighbours screech their business for half an hour whilst their endless cousins etc leaves. They allow their kids to kick ball against neighbours walls/windows. Then the same all the way up the road. It's really claustrophobic and it's like people have no volume control anymore/no concern for people around them at all.

When you're asking if it's cultural, which cultures are you talking about?

I live in a multicultural city (London) and Eastern Europeans are very big on BBQs and large family gatherings in their gardens. More so than many of the Brits around here.

I like it, it's as though the gardens come alive in the warm weather, although admittedly I don't have young children.

@Marine59 I suspect the noise levels could be partly due to them consuming alcohol, that always seems to ramp things up.