Neighbours in their gardens, is it cultural?

[Marine59]

Hi guys I have moved to England and have really settled in very well and am enjoying myself and my job a lot. There's just one problem I am really struggling with and I want to know whether I need to get over myself because its a cultural difference or whether it's a real problem.

So in my country people are festive and I believe myself to be too! But where I live, it's rows and rows of houses with very small and cute gardens, maybe each garden is 20m2. And lots of the neighbours (mainly young ones from their voices) are what I consider to be disrespectful - music and television from inside at maximum volume with windows and doors open, going in their garden in big groups and speaking and laughing at maximum volume...

Of course I understand having a good time, but I'm used to people going out for this or doing it inside, and then when outside lowering their voices.

It means when you're outside in your garden you are basically like as if you were in their party. I don't mind noise of course, that's normal! For example my neighbours right next to me, they have barbecues and eat outside, but they really understand that our gardens are small so they bring their voices down just a tiny bit I can tell (in fact they apologised to me for their barking dog which I thought was so kind! It didn't bother me at all, it's just an animal).

I don't want to be a bitch and I'm just wondering whether I need to accept this and get over it because it's a cultural difference or whether this is considered bad practice? Is it normal? I think maybe it is because on my street I'd say I have heard maybe 4 different houses do things this way. What do you think?

I think the noisier people are in the minority. I’ve just moved from what sounds like a similar area to you with lots of terraces packed together. I think when there are so many people in a small space there’s more chance that someone will be making a noise. It wasn’t pleasant!

People who have gardens generally sit in them in the summer. They might just sit there appreciating how amazing the sun and warmth is, or they might just decide to invite friends/family to their house and have a party.

If you are having trouble with constant noise pollution, you need to contact your council.

I've posted on here about my hellish neighbours quite a few times, they are Roma and have the doors and windows open all year round unless it is really cold. They communicate by shouting and they shout over each other, they play music through a phone and its tinny sound rings out for hours on end. They have BBQs in all weathers, and the smoke billows over to my house, making it stink. There are around 10 people living there (it's a 2 up 2 down). I have used Google translate to politely explain that they are disturbing me and the people who live in the house that actually joins onto theirs has called the police a few times as the noise goes on til at least 2 am every dayt I think that the shouting is cultural, some cultures are just noisier but they do my head in and I have to use ear plugs or have the radio on when I am in the rear of my house. I cannot use my back yard at all due to the constant noise and I keep my doors and windows shut despite the heat as the choice is being boiled or deafened. Before they moved in my street was reasonably peaceful and I really don't mind a bit of noise, but constant noise for hours a day every day is something else. Their mates call round at all hours and bang on the door and shout and yell until someone opens it, they do get up late as they don't seem to be part of the mainstream economy so I get some peace before 11am but after that it all kicks off.

Dogs barking: okay, they are just animals
Really loud like festival loud music: it's rude, but okay in some way I can force myself to absorb it
Shouting: I can't tell you how annoying this is. In the next few gardens there are maybe 7 people, they are literally shouting and their conversation is something like:

• "no no no I said Fuck, go and FUCK yourself"
• crazy laughter
• "Oh fuck off!!!!"
• crazy screaming laughter
• "You're a fucking idiot!"
• "Swallow it you dick!"
• Glass smashing
• "Bradley Cooper what the fuck!!!"

But like screaming

It's so rude

Most people in the UK are either rude, common, entitled males or shrill women. It makes for quite the racked outdoors I’m afraid.

Lots of noise pollution I think due to how crowded we are.

People should lower their voices when others are trying to enjoy their garden quietly, but instead they shout loudly & blast their music. People here are increasingly inconsiderate & obnoxious.

@Marine59 that's horrible. Urghh!!! People are so desensitized to swearing and horrible language now, that's another issue altogether. I'm fuming on your behalf and @Lifeomars on your behalf too and lots of others on here 😂

Count yourself lucky that you don't have my neighbour who bought their tone deaf child a karaoke machine for outdoor use 🙃

You should have moved to Ireland. When they have a party at least the neighbours are invited and most houses have much bigger gardens.

Well, I am pleased to report that that went better than expected. I did literally stick my head out the window and told them to shut up in the nicest possible way. And they have

Ugh. Yes. We've a neighbour a couple of doors down who has windows and doors open with the TV blaring. If you want to watch TV with windows open, of course that's fine, just not with cinema surround sound at full volume. Turn it down. No one else in the street wants to hear whatever rubbish you have on TV whilst trying to enjoy the sunshine.

@3AndStopping
No I don't like to be silent in my garden, I like to have people come here too, but just make sure we don't speak too loud in case maybe somebody is sleeping with the window open or just wants to be quiet.

@Lifeomars that sounds hellish. I’ve lived in Eastern Europe and I understand what you are talking about. The Roma lifestyle is completely different to put it mildly.

This is not normal! Not where I am anyway, all my neighbours are respectful.

British are badly behaved. Sorry!

I guess it does depend what you are used to. In other countries dogs live outside bark all day and night and noone cares but the British that move there really struggle with that.

We moved here and I let my dogs sleep outside in the garden but if someone walks past the garden gate they will bark. The neighbours complained because it disturbs them. So I mostly keep them inside now at night unless it is really hot or they are on mouse patrol.

We don’t get this in our road usual but neighbours are on holiday and their son is having a party. They are unable to speak without a swearing every other word and are obnoxiously loud. I can tolerate as it’s so rare but it’s weird… he is 25 and has his own house so I’m unsure why he’s having a party in his parents’ house considering last time it was a disaster (he still lived at home then) and his parents came home to a mess that took 4 trips to the tip with all the rubbish!

i think it varies between roads and types of neighbours/people.

You had to be asked to move your barking dogs inside your house, but it's the British who are badly behaved?

🤣 ok.

@Marine59 Many, many, many people in the UK generally are selfish assholes with no understanding of how loud and obnoxious they are.

I'm waiting for rain too :)

I quite like laying in the garden listening to the neighbours.Something comforting about life buzzing around you. Apparently I’m the exception 😂

This is our current soundtrack from our neighbour’s son and his friends. Parents are nice but their youngest son is an unintelligent, self absorbed twat (parks across our drive/tells gods friends to park across our drive etc)

I was thinking this 😂

Op, it just shows everyone is different. What’s rude and annoying to one person isn’t to another and so on.

I live alone and rarely have guests over so I’m extremely quiet but I don’t mind hearing the sounds of others having parties on their balcony, the shared garden etc or the sounds of kids playing as long as it’s all before 11pm and after 11am but I do HATE the sound of dogs constantly barking. Of course it’s not their fault but I feel the owners should do something.

@TeenLifeMum sorry, I quoted the wrong post 😁

🤣. Ok.