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Original poster

To think this is insanely childish? Anyone else been shocked by an adult’s immaturity?!

232 replies

llammar · 15/06/2023 19:57

In our group of friends one of us can’t make the birthday dinner for someone in the group. They birthday girls has taken huge offence and said the alternative date suggested ‘isn’t her actual birthday so it won’t feel the same.’ Wtf? She’s going to
be 38 not 6? It’s literally moving the day from a Friday (her birthday) to a Saturday. I’ve

OP posts:
vickylou78 · 17/06/2023 10:23

I'm with you Op I couldn't be doing with the drama. surely if her birthday was mid week she'd be likely having the birthday dinner at the weekend and not on the actual day so don't see why the day after matters! I'd personally rather all my friends were included than one missing out.

MrsToothyBitch · 17/06/2023 10:33

Hmm... I can see why asking for a birthday party to be moved for you may be seen as cheeky. But I also think kicking off because it's your birthdaaaaaayyyyyy is bratty behaviour from an adult. Either say no sorry, Saturday doesn't work for me or move it to Sat so you can all celebrate. Personally I'd do the Saturday so we could all go and I'd enjoy slightly spinning my birthday out for couple of hoursGrin.

I used to work with a birthday pwincess. She ALWAYS took the whole week off for birthday - and replied to any comments as such with the words above, with exactly that emphasis and hard stare downs. This was retail, she was an assistant manager and she insisted on both weekends at either end as well. I couldn't go to my cousins wedding because of her - she wouldn't give up one weekend day and someone else had to rearrange a massive holiday and spend more money because she wouldn't swap the last day of her week off one year. I do understand it was her right to book a weeks leave and it was first come first served and I could completely understand if she had holidays booked herself over it - but she didn't really and her stock answer of "it's my birthday" for the whole 9 days seemed really childish on an adult - and one who tried to duck work at every opportunity anyway tbh. We paid the entitled bitch back in kind at every turn though.

memyselfi · 17/06/2023 10:42

I think if the Birthday Girl wanted the guest there she would have made it work .
I suspect she was quite happy for this guest to miss it.

AaBbCcDdEeFfGEEEEEE · 17/06/2023 10:45

I'm with you OP. All the adults I know have birthday gatherings at weekend's, because everyone generally works and has other commitments during the week. In fact, we even do it for my DC. They have their birthday with us at home - gifts, cards and a cake with candles - and then they get to do it all over again at the weekend with his friends. So, essentially, we're all getting 2 days of birthday celebrations if we happen to have a mid-week birthday. My birthday was recently mid-week and we're doing a whole day of group activities, which has been arranged for next month! I'm not throwing a paddy because it didn't all happen on my actual birthday.

Being dramatic and offended because a suggestion was made to rearrange to the next day so someone who loves her can make her birthday meal, is being very juvenile and precious, and I'm gobsmacked at the replies on here.

But then I'm frequently gobsmacked at replies on this forum. I often find myself muttering "only on Mumsnet". It's like no other forum I know for batshittery attitudes.

BadgesforBadgers · 17/06/2023 10:48

llammar · 15/06/2023 20:38

No I’m not getting back late! It’s already being planned months in advance (it’s in august).

It’s not being moved. The person flying back said they could do the Saturday, everyone else was fine with it, birthday girl was not!

I have posted because I was shocked that someone could be so much of a princess about their birthday! She is a lovely person but I honestly cannot believe someone could be this precious.

Nope, you have it the wrong way round.

The entitled person is the one expecting a meal to be moved just for them.

It's gaslighting to suggest the birthday girl is out of order.

phoenixrosehere · 17/06/2023 10:52

MrsToothyBitch · 17/06/2023 10:33

Hmm... I can see why asking for a birthday party to be moved for you may be seen as cheeky. But I also think kicking off because it's your birthdaaaaaayyyyyy is bratty behaviour from an adult. Either say no sorry, Saturday doesn't work for me or move it to Sat so you can all celebrate. Personally I'd do the Saturday so we could all go and I'd enjoy slightly spinning my birthday out for couple of hoursGrin.

I used to work with a birthday pwincess. She ALWAYS took the whole week off for birthday - and replied to any comments as such with the words above, with exactly that emphasis and hard stare downs. This was retail, she was an assistant manager and she insisted on both weekends at either end as well. I couldn't go to my cousins wedding because of her - she wouldn't give up one weekend day and someone else had to rearrange a massive holiday and spend more money because she wouldn't swap the last day of her week off one year. I do understand it was her right to book a weeks leave and it was first come first served and I could completely understand if she had holidays booked herself over it - but she didn't really and her stock answer of "it's my birthday" for the whole 9 days seemed really childish on an adult - and one who tried to duck work at every opportunity anyway tbh. We paid the entitled bitch back in kind at every turn though.

But I also think kicking off because it's your birthdaaaaaayyyyyy is bratty behaviour from an adult.

How is it kicking off by saying she wants to have her birthday on the Friday as it was going to be planned and is her birthday because one person can’t make that day?

OP is the one here who started a thread moaning about the woman’s preference because everyone else and OP was fine with it but the person whose birthday it actually will be.

Could she change the day sure, but if she doesn’t want to, it shouldn’t be the big deal OP is making it out to be even more so when they are not the friend that is the one missing it. I’d question why this bothers OP so much. They’re being quite dramatic themselves about it.

MRex · 17/06/2023 10:55

It's very strange. Not at all unreasonable with my friends if it's just our group for people to say "I can't make X date, could Saturday work?" and it would be moved if possible. Birthday girl could have just said "I can't do Saturday, sorry" if she didn't like that, rather than throw a tantrum. We usually discuss a range of dates though, nobody would just say "here's the date, be there".

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 17/06/2023 10:59

MrsToothyBitch · 17/06/2023 10:33

Hmm... I can see why asking for a birthday party to be moved for you may be seen as cheeky. But I also think kicking off because it's your birthdaaaaaayyyyyy is bratty behaviour from an adult. Either say no sorry, Saturday doesn't work for me or move it to Sat so you can all celebrate. Personally I'd do the Saturday so we could all go and I'd enjoy slightly spinning my birthday out for couple of hoursGrin.

I used to work with a birthday pwincess. She ALWAYS took the whole week off for birthday - and replied to any comments as such with the words above, with exactly that emphasis and hard stare downs. This was retail, she was an assistant manager and she insisted on both weekends at either end as well. I couldn't go to my cousins wedding because of her - she wouldn't give up one weekend day and someone else had to rearrange a massive holiday and spend more money because she wouldn't swap the last day of her week off one year. I do understand it was her right to book a weeks leave and it was first come first served and I could completely understand if she had holidays booked herself over it - but she didn't really and her stock answer of "it's my birthday" for the whole 9 days seemed really childish on an adult - and one who tried to duck work at every opportunity anyway tbh. We paid the entitled bitch back in kind at every turn though.

I’m confused. If you knew she ALWAYS did this, why didn’t you book your holiday for the wedding as soon as you knew the date? Why did your colleague have to “rearrange” her holiday? Why not just arrange it for a different week in the first place?

bernadette1984 · 17/06/2023 11:20

8pm? At the airport!? Lol

KingOfThieves · 17/06/2023 11:26

Why should she not celebrate on her actual birthday? Would you rather she sat at home? So one friend can’t make it, it isn’t a big deal.

if bd girl didn’t want to move the date then I am assuming she didn’t suggest moving the date. So why would others suggest moving the meal when it wasn’t their place to?

you will all catch up another time

ToWhitToWhoo · 17/06/2023 11:38

If the birthday person got in a mood over the mere suggestion that the day be changed, then that's very unpleasant and unreasonable of her. If she calmly said no, and the others wouldn't accept it and nagged her about it, then it's more understandable if she got annoyed,

What would REALLY upset me would be if she got angry and offended with anyone who couldn't come on the day.

zingally · 17/06/2023 11:46

The person expecting the date to be moved is being fairly childish. But the birthday girls response is also pretty immature.

I kind of get wanting to have a "big birthday" celebration on the day, but for a mid-decade birthday it's certainly not expected.

EmeraldFox · 17/06/2023 11:46

memyselfi · 17/06/2023 10:42

I think if the Birthday Girl wanted the guest there she would have made it work .
I suspect she was quite happy for this guest to miss it.

Yes, unless there was a reason she couldn't do Saturday then she clearly wasn't bothered about seeing this friend. Her call of course, but if she was in a mood just because the next day was suggested then that is childish.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 17/06/2023 11:57

Personally, I’d rather everyone could come than it be on the specific day, so it wouldn’t worry me to delay it until the Saturday. However, I do wonder how this was pitched to the birthday girl. This part of the OP sticks out for me:

She was just in a huge mood about it and said it was unreasonable to suggest the day went to the Saturday even though everyone else (six in total) were fine with it.

Why had all six been asked if they were okay with it before the suggestion to the birthday girl? Or was it a group chat where everyone jumped in and said “Ooh yes, I can do Saturday; let’s make it Saturday!” Maybe she felt a bit ambushed or as if it was a fait accompli. I wonder if her “huge mood” was because she felt like she’d been presented with his decision and was then told “Well, everyone else can make it…”

Vmlillie · 17/06/2023 13:29

I just want to point out that OP never said the friend who couldn’t make the Friday party wanted to move the date. If the group is anything like mine, they were just trying to accommodate everyone attending. I am a little surprised the birthday girl is being so childish, but that’s her prerogative, I guess. I do know none of my friends would care what day we celebrate, as long as we were all there together. Choose your friends wisely.

MoonInTheNight · 17/06/2023 14:18

AaBbCcDdEeFfGEEEEEE
I'm with you OP. All the adults I know have birthday gatherings at weekend's, because everyone generally works and has other commitments during the week. In fact, we even do it for my DC. They have their birthday with us at home - gifts, cards and a cake with candles - and then they get to do it all over again at the weekend with his friends. So, essentially, we're all getting 2 days of birthday celebrations if we happen to have a mid-week birthday.

Her birthday is at the weekend (or near enough) - she wants to celebrate on Friday evening. She may even be pleased it's finally possible to celebrate on the day after several years of mid-week birthdays.

Suggesting you get two days of celebrations only makes sense if you still get to do something on your actual birthday. Even if it's just a present and some recognition from a partner. If you don't have a partner/family, and can't see friends on the day, birthdays can be pretty grim (especially at 38, if you were hoping to have a partner/DC by now). I'm around that age and it's much more important to me to have a pleasant day (even if low-key) on my actual birthday than big celebrations another day, for the above reasons.

Wills · 17/06/2023 14:35

Sorry but I have to do this though I’m aware I’m outing my age

It’s my pwarty and I’ll crwy if I want to,
crwy if I want to
You would do too if you had a nasty disrespectful “friend” who puts a foreign based business meeting ahead of my pwarty

MoonInTheNight · 17/06/2023 16:08

Wills

Only she's not upset the friend can't make it. She understands that.
She just doesn't want to rearrange the dinner to suit said friend, which is fair enough.

EbonyRaven · 17/06/2023 16:25

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 17/06/2023 09:58

Wow, the seconds of thought that must have gone into that ingenious nickname.

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😂

Wills · 17/06/2023 16:35

MoonInTheNight · 17/06/2023 16:08

Wills

Only she's not upset the friend can't make it. She understands that.
She just doesn't want to rearrange the dinner to suit said friend, which is fair enough.

I was under the opposite impression. That she’s upset that said friend wont make it. As long birthday girl has had a pleasant conversation with friend who can’t make it then as it’s her birthday she can do what she likes.

However I have to admit that as I’ve been desperately decorating a daughter’s bedroom before she arrives home I haven’t kept up with (read) all of it - sorry!

phoenixrosehere · 17/06/2023 16:55

Wills · 17/06/2023 16:35

I was under the opposite impression. That she’s upset that said friend wont make it. As long birthday girl has had a pleasant conversation with friend who can’t make it then as it’s her birthday she can do what she likes.

However I have to admit that as I’ve been desperately decorating a daughter’s bedroom before she arrives home I haven’t kept up with (read) all of it - sorry!

Show quote history

OP wrote

She was just in a huge mood about it and said it was unreasonable to suggest the day went to the Saturday even though everyone else (six in total) were fine with it.

I read it as someone suggested the Saturday and instead of asking the birthday person they decided that was ok and the birthday person disagreed.

Wills · 17/06/2023 19:44

phoenixrosehere · 17/06/2023 16:55

OP wrote

She was just in a huge mood about it and said it was unreasonable to suggest the day went to the Saturday even though everyone else (six in total) were fine with it.

I read it as someone suggested the Saturday and instead of asking the birthday person they decided that was ok and the birthday person disagreed.

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YEP, on reflection I can see your point.

Wills · 17/06/2023 19:45

However the OP seems to have disappeared so I doubt it will clarified.

MrsMikeDrop · 17/06/2023 20:38

EmeraldFox · 17/06/2023 09:47

Nothing wrong with finding out if a day later would mean everyone could come then asking. If someone else couldn't come then it would be pointless. If the next day doesn't work for the birthday woman then she just says so, but it's not unreasonable to ask. I'd naturally assume she'd want as many of her friends there as possible.

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Nope. Much easier to ask the birthday girl first, and if she's keen to then ask the others. It was only one person who couldn't make it. I think it's pretty obvious what has gone on here. These 'girls' are just bullies.

MrsMikeDrop · 17/06/2023 20:41

Either scenario is fine, having the birthday on the day or moving it. The mean part is calling her immature etc, real friends (over 12), don't do this.