To think this is insanely childish? Anyone else been shocked by an adult’s immaturity?!

[llammar]

In our group of friends one of us can’t make the birthday dinner for someone in the group. They birthday girls has taken huge offence and said the alternative date suggested ‘isn’t her actual birthday so it won’t feel the same.’ Wtf? She’s going to
be 38 not 6? It’s literally moving the day from a Friday (her birthday) to a Saturday. I’ve

I couldn't care less about my birthday, they've just never been a big thing in my family. I do have some friends who make a huge deal about their birthday. If the friend wants to have her celebration on her birthday because that's what's important to her I don't see what's wrong with that. You are all shitty and judgemental friends for sayings he's the immature one.

Maybe she doesn't have anything else nice to do on her birthday and would end up alone? That to me would feel sad and rubbish. I would want the meal to be on my birthday if that were the case.

What I'm finding really strange about the whole scenario is it seems to be about what the friend wants and no one seems interested in the actual person whose birthday it is! 😵‍💫

I agree OP. My priority would be that everyone could attend.

But then again I felt the same about my hen and wedding. It was about accommodating guests and having as many people I liked there. It was never ‘all about the bride and groom’.

For me, I would want as many good
friends as possible around me. Changing the date would be an easy compromise.

I don’t understand why you’re being so judgmental about your friend not wanting to move the date. She invited her friends out on her actual birthday. That’s the date, that’s the plan. It’s her birthday, not a group meal out.

it’s actually really fucking rude of your other friend to expect the birthday plans to be moved to accommodate her. I’m really surprised you can’t see that.

That should say - it’s her birthday, so what she wants takes precedent over day for example a general group plan

Sometimes you can't attend everything. The one person who wants the date changed is being precious. Also - she could always arrive later in the evening - straight from her flight.

And what's wrong with that. During the week celebrations are a big NO from me unless it's dh or dc. It's inconvenient, a big pain to find babysitters if it's a late one and just a really big bother. Luckily most people I know do this too.

It’s the person trying to move the date who’s a dick. The person flying gets in at 7pm. Why don’t they just take a taxi or bus straight to the restaurant? Even if they’re a bit late they’ll still make most of it.

Most people I know, move their celebration to the weekend. Thatd way everyone can make it. Quite a few people work shifts, so in the week wouldn't get a good turn out.

If you love your friends you want them to be happy. Let her do what she wants. It’s her bloody birthday after all and she’ll have her reasons. You do what YOU want on YOUR birthday.

Sounds like you’re worried about missing out on a night out which I get.

Be kind and speak about her how you’d hope to be spoken about. Personally, I’d be happy to have it anytime but I’m pretty chilled. Not all of my friends are as flexible as me but I respect that and love them all the same.

Let people be who they are.

She was just in a huge mood about it and said it was unreasonable to suggest the day went to the Saturday even though everyone else (six in total) were fine with it.

OK...but it's her event? Not yours, or the other guests'. You sound very rude and entitled. Are you usually the boss of the group?

Agree. And actually it's even worse as the rest of you obviously discussed it and agreed, then sounds like you suggested it to her. You sound a bit like mean girl teenagers tbh, especially as now you're saying she's being the immature one

But it can happen…. Just without that one friend!
She wants to celebrate her birthday in her birthday, not entitled at all, that’s perfectly normal.

Grown adults getting precious about their birthdays is infantile and unattractive.

yabvu

I don't think this is insanely childish, precious etc, no (and tbh I was prepared to agree if there was reason to).

If she was kicking up a stink about the friend not being able to make it then yes, that would be. As it stands, friend has suggested another date but the inviter has stuck to original plans, citing her reason as she prefers it on her birthday itself. It could also be that she wants to do something else on the Saturday, maybe see family or go to an event. Perhaps she just likes doing something on her birthday itself and it falls on a Friday this year as well as working for everyone but the friend in question so doesn't wish to change plans. I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal or worth so much of your judgement.

As is the people being annoyed by how others choose and want to celebrate their birthday.

You’re what they call a Mean Girl. That’s what you are. You’re the one who wants the dinner when you think it should be. But it’s not your call, it’s the person’s whose birthday it is. You’re the insanely childish one, look how you’re insulting her, moaning about her, doing a thread about her, all because she prefers to stick to original plan of having celebration on her actual birthday. Which is reasonable. You are a meanie and I hope she realizes that sooner rather than later. Is that clear as a bell now?

Nothing wrong with finding out if a day later would mean everyone could come then asking. If someone else couldn't come then it would be pointless. If the next day doesn't work for the birthday woman then she just says so, but it's not unreasonable to ask. I'd naturally assume she'd want as many of her friends there as possible.

So that's what she should tell op and the others.
I'd imagine if the birthday woman had said that the op would have included the information in her post though, surely.

If birthday woman wants to celebrate in the day - fine, but accept someone can't make it.
If the flying in friend didn't try to insist on moving the date and just said 'oh can't do the Friday, I'm free Saturday instead maybe?' - also fine.
If birthday woman has no plans on the Saturday but is still insisting, despite everyone being free to move it - I guess the flying in friend might feel a bit fed up, as though she isn't really wanted as such (by birthday person) but at least they know.

But yes - if birthday person will otherwise be alone on their birthday, esp as a Friday night, then I can also see why they'd want to keep it there. Maybe they could have explained that though - if they had I assumed the op would have mentioned it in their op though.

Yeah, why the hell would an adult want to do anything remotely fun? After the age of 21, our lives should simply be an endless drudge of going out to work, making the tea, tidying up and then going to bed. Every day until we die. It’s the mature way of doing things.

Does not sound like a group of friends tbh.
If someone can't make my birthday dinner, that's a shame but hey ho. If they push a date change, no thank you that's not the plan. If they strop about it, fuck off. Tiresome, pathetic melodramatics. Time to disband?

Wow, the seconds of thought that must have gone into that ingenious nickname.