To think this is insanely childish? Anyone else been shocked by an adult’s immaturity?!

[llammar]

In our group of friends one of us can’t make the birthday dinner for someone in the group. They birthday girls has taken huge offence and said the alternative date suggested ‘isn’t her actual birthday so it won’t feel the same.’ Wtf? She’s going to
be 38 not 6? It’s literally moving the day from a Friday (her birthday) to a Saturday. I’ve

Sounds to me like you all just made a new plan and didn’t give your friend “the birthday girl” a second thought! If it’s been planned for months it’s actually really rude to just start discussing new and different plans and suggesting moving the day.

the world doesn’t revolve around your friend (the one flying in late) so yes the birthday girl has every right to not uproot her plans because someone has known well in advance and claimed they can’t make it last minute.

surely it’s your friends fault (the one flying in) for not making alternative arrangements for work/booking time off knowing this meal and plan had already been arranged?

you sound like you don’t even like your friend.. who gives a shit if you all think she’s being “precious” because she actually wants the plans that were agreed to go ahead🤷‍♀️ also everyone bitching and moaning how childish she is because she just simply wants the meal on her birthday need to grow up, people are entitled to choose when they want there birthday celebration ffs, if she wants it on her birthday so be it.

YABU

What drama? A suggestion was made and she rebuffed it.

This. No thought for the birthday girl at all.

Wonder if op and rest of group are used to birthday girl having to go along with what they tell her so are shocked she's finally stood up for herself?

I think some of us have different ideas about a party. It's supposed to be a social gathering for a group. Some time at a party can be devoted to one or more individuals such as singing happy birthday, but most of the event is a social occasion. The group thought it would be nice to all be together, because they care about each other. The birthday woman-child wanted it to be all about her, because she only cares about herself. That is the where the disconnect has happened. When she's moaning later about people being turned against her, you can bet she'll have no awareness of how they all suddenly actually saw her lack of interest in anyone's happiness except her own. Clearly others on the thread have a similar approach, so she needs to just find new friends who are comfortable with the approach of putting themselves first even when it's unnecessary.

I think It's a bit odd to be that bothered about one's birthday celebration being on a certain day as a fully fledged adult to be honest but I appreciate not everyone feels that way. I'd much rather just have a day with all my loved ones, even if that did have to be a few days/weeks either side of my birthday. My last birthday was a significant one and I had two celebrations (I've lived in two regions about half of my life each and have friends in both!) about a month apart!

reminds me of a birthday party I organised (for myself) - a few years ago - afternoon tea on a canal boat for about thirty, lots of champagne.
One of the people I invited replied with it was a bit inconvenient because it was a bank holiday. I didn't change the date.
the potential guest who expects the date to be changed is the one being unreasonable.