To think this is insanely childish? Anyone else been shocked by an adult’s immaturity?!

[llammar]

In our group of friends one of us can’t make the birthday dinner for someone in the group. They birthday girls has taken huge offence and said the alternative date suggested ‘isn’t her actual birthday so it won’t feel the same.’ Wtf? She’s going to
be 38 not 6? It’s literally moving the day from a Friday (her birthday) to a Saturday. I’ve

So weird. Birthday girl wants to celebrate on her actual birthday, what's wrong with that. Of course no one else is bothered if it's a different day. Who cares if the other friend can't make it, that's life.

You're right, this is normal for normal people!

Agree. Shitty friends. Somehow it's about the woman who can't make it instead

If I was the friend on the business trip then I would have explained my situation (stating that I would be back in the country for the rest of the weekend) and that I was sad to miss it. I would hope that the birthday friend would suggest to change the meal date to the Saturday but I would never expect it or ask. It makes the business trip friend come across as very self important.

Fascinated that the birthday party problems continue into adulthood for some. Men have a much more civilised arrangement when it comes to birthdays. Anyone who wants to join them at the pub is welcome.

For someone who thinks the birthday girl is lovely and you claim to be her friend, it’s not really nice you’re on here bitching to millions of people about her. How do you treat people you don’t like?

Yeah this. The needs of the many and all that...

It's like about 4 years ago (Christmas 2019,) me and DH went out for a meal with 13-14 people - half a dozen or so colleagues of his and their partners. We were due to meet at 6.45-7.00 pm. We were all going to order our own food but we were planning to all order 7.15pm or so with a view to eating 7.30 to 7.45 pm.

ONE woman who was actually coming alone was waiting for her son to bring her .. It was a mile - she could have bastard walked - and she wasn't here at 7, or quarter past, or half past. By quarter to eight we rang her. Still waiting for son to bring her. She said 'I won't be long, do NOT start or order the food without me...'

Not here at eight, not here at quarter past. One of the women rings at 8.20pm, and says 'we will come get you, we're all waiting.' She said NO my son is coming ... He will go mad if he has a wasted journey.

NINE O CLOCK she got there. For some inexplicable reason, a decision was made to wait for HER. I had not eaten since midday and could have eaten a scabby donkey. Really massively fucked me off that all 15 of us had to wait for this ONE WOMAN. By nine o clock it was super busy, and we waited 40 minutes for our food. Nearly fucking ten at night it was when we finally ate. Should have been quarter to eight, or eight at the latest.

Bit of a rant, and tl;dr, but this just reminded me of this. The whole group having to move THEIR plans for one entitled twat who decided to be 2 hours later than everyone else. Boiled my blood so much that I told DH if this happens again, I will be ordering my fucking meal, AT THE TIME WE ALL PLANNED TO EAT, no matter what entitled arsehole tells people to wait for them!

I don't think casually suggesting that they can make saturday but not friday is REMOTELY like being sat in a fucking restaurant, twiddling your thumbs as you all wait for someone for HOURS, before you can order food.

This 💯

Perhaps Birthday Girl already has other, better plans for the Saturday night that don't involve you.

Nonsense. You can chose which day you want to celebrate!

I celebrated my 50th over a few days. Actual day with a meal out at the start of our break, but my birthday present was a concert abroad 3 or 4 days later - we very much treated it as my birthday celebration.

Children often celebrate birthdays at a weekend with a party due to needing to go to school in the actual day.

One of DD's friends as a child held her birthday celebrations exactly 6 months after her real birthday. Her family celebrated a little on Christmas Day but her main celebration was always June 25th. No friends could/would celebrate her birthday in the actual day obviously.

Obviously it needs to be the birthday person's choice - so if happy to go ahead without the friend then she can do. But if she has an alternative and would have liked the friend there then moving it by a day wouldn't be an issue for most people. If she isn't bothered about the friend missing it then she can insist in the Friday still.

@EbonyRaven how is this in any way related to the subject of the thread? And what restaurant let's a table of that size sit there for two hours without eating (rhetoric question, please don't answer)

Leaving aside the rights and wrongs of BG versus this other friend for one minute...

I'm astonished at the number of posters on here who appear to think its childish or self-indulgent for an adult to want to celebrate their birthday with friends.

We've had several posters saying birthday parties are for children and someone saying why aren't they spending it with their husband and family. WTAF?

Is the concept of adults celebrating their birthdays really so alien? I'm in my early 50s and I can count on one hand the birthdays I've had which haven't involved a drink or a meal with friends or some kind of party. I really can't believe that's such a difficult concept? My parents were having birthday parties into their 80s.

Some of you must live very dull and constrained lives if you think adults getting together to celebrate a birthday is wrong.

Every time I open MN I’m shocked by the immaturity of some adults!

Birthday girl wants to celebrate her birthday on her birthday, as she is perfectly entitled to.

Friend is being massively entitled to expect her to change the plans to suit her.

I don't think it's childish. No more childish than the awkward friend asking for a different date so she can make it.
You don't say how many are going but just one 'can't make that night' is a good availability to me. I get wanting to celebrate on your actual birthday.

Completely agree with this.

What’s unreasonable is referring to a grown woman as ‘birthday girl’ 🤮

It’s not being moved. The person flying back said they could do the Saturday, everyone else was fine with it, birthday girl was not!

It's not really up to them to decide they're fine with it. It's up to the person whose birthday it is.

That is a really common thing to do. I don't think I know anyone who insists on an evening out on the night of their birthday.

Birthday meals almost always on the closest Friday/Saturday to the actual birthday.

Of course it's up to them to decide if they are fine with it, as in able and happy to attend if the birthday person was also fine with it.

Person arranges meal on birthday, and on a date that suits her. If one person can’t make it that’s fine, it should still go ahead. Why suggest to change it is what I don’t understand.

The date is the date, it’s tough if someone can’t make it. C’est La Vie!

Of course it's up to them to decide if they are fine with it, as in able and happy to attend if the birthday person was also fine with it

Well quite. But she's not.

Op, I totally agree with you. At 38, surely the important thing about celebrating a birthday is getting to celebrate with as many of your friends as possible..Seriously, who gives an actual toss about the date?!!!!