To think this is insanely childish? Anyone else been shocked by an adult’s immaturity?!

[llammar]

In our group of friends one of us can’t make the birthday dinner for someone in the group. They birthday girls has taken huge offence and said the alternative date suggested ‘isn’t her actual birthday so it won’t feel the same.’ Wtf? She’s going to
be 38 not 6? It’s literally moving the day from a Friday (her birthday) to a Saturday. I’ve

Why are you so upset? Is it you who wants it to be rearranged?

@Whenwillitallmakesense I’m not upset I just couldn’t believe the drama but it seems that it’s quite normal from this thread!

You do you. Perfectly normal to move the date to a weekend. I’m celebrating my birthday 7.5 weeks early this year. Still planning on cake, dinner out, maybe balloons…. Will still be celebrating turning XX years old.

(Key person is unavailable beyond that point because they’re emigrating to other side of the planet, so I’m happy to move the date.)

You are of course "the friend" and I claim my my £10

She's right. Hee birthday should be celebrated when she wants to.

Ridiculous of her friends to pressure her to change the day.

She wants a meal on her birthday, so whoever can make it should and nobody should be pressuring her to move it or make a big deal about her not wanting to move it.

I think it's rude to do anything more than just suggest she moves it as one possible option. If she doesn't like that option then the rest of you should have dropped it immediately.

The friends are the rude entitled ones. If you can't go, just don't go.

The person not going shouldn't be expecting her to move the date

How is it ‘ drama’ to want your birthday meal in your birthday, rather than sit at home like Billy No-Mates?!

From your posts it sounds like the one flying back on the Friday is the dramatic one, expecting someone else’s birthday celebration to be moved for them! A wee bit entitled. They should just accept they miss out this time and accept it like an adult.

So you all tried to move her birthday celebration? That's rude. It's weird how you are viewing it.

Is the friend/friends wanting her to move the date 38 or 6? " I can't go so you have to move your event for your birthday" wtf

Does this mean she now has no plans for her actual birthday? Maybe she's worried about spending the day/eve alone

Well you certainly come across as upset. Is it you who can't make it and is asking for it to be rearranged?

There shouldn’t be drama. You go out six times a year for birthdays! Its fine for someone to say - ‘o no can we do Sat?’ And birthday girl should have the cheery social chops to say ‘let’s not! Five on Fri is better for me!’ And everyone else should be ‘no drama, how happy are we that we’ll have five more whole chances to catch up in the next year!’

I highly recommend googling ‘ask culture/guess culture.’ The result is an answer on a Reddit thread that will blow your mind if you find this stuff hard.

That's what I am wondering.

If there's a group of 8 women who get together for everyone's bdays then yes, I'd wait for the person flying in the next day rather than not have them there.

I mean it's quite common to have your birthday celebration at the weekend if it falls on a weekday (to PP who finds it weird!). I don't think you'd have many takers for a long boozy three-course dinner on a Weds night when everyone has been at work till 5/6 and is in the next morning!

Sounds like a load of fuss about nothing. I would prefer the company over the specific day so if one friend couldn't make the Friday but could make the Sat then I would rather do that 🤷‍♀️ But if I didn't want to I wouldn't get offended at the suggestion. I'd be flattered that they wanted to come enough to suggest it tbh. Sometimes I wonder if people on MN actually like their friends.

Yes, it's lame. But why can't one person miss a dinner due to work commitments? Expecting everyone to always be able to make something like this is also fairly immature

Surely the point is to spend time with your mates?

At 38 it's fucking weird to get annoyed if that means going out the day after your birthday.

Absolutely @Hugasauras !

Bloody hell, what shitty 'friends' you lot are!
Sorry, to clarify, it’s not being moved! She was just in a huge mood about it and said it was unreasonable to suggest the day went to the Saturday even though everyone else (six in total) were fine with it.
"Sod you, birthday girl, we're all fine celebrating your birthday like this on this date, we all want to do it like this, can't believe you think your birthday is for YOU urghhh!"
Is it more about a night out? Who's away friend? Groups queen bee/you?

Surely this is entirely normal behaviour in a group of people who do things together fairly often?
'I'm thinking of having a birthday dinner on Friday X, can everyone make it?'
'Yep'
'Yes, sounds good to me!'
'Oh no, I'm working on the Friday. I can do Saturday if that works?'
'I can do either day!'

Etc.

No one needs to be getting offended about trying to ensure as many people make it as possible because everyone enjoys each other's company and wants to celebrate together. Bonkers. I'm glad my friends aren't like this.

Are you the friend who is flying in late? Surely it’s up to the Birthday Girl when the celebration should be? I’m not fussed about having a do on my actual birthday (I had a whole year of celebrations for my 50th 😂) but I would be pissed if I picked a date and other people wanted me to change it to suit them.

This. Surely this is what normal people do (unless birthday girl was fine to move it). Why is this even a thing!?

Some people love their birthdays, others are less bothered. I personally don't even remember mine most years until other people start mentioning it and then I just feel weird about it - I'm 28. My children's birthdays on the other hand are huge deals to me, as are other holidays and I do massively overtime those days and end up being a bit OTT crazy over them (something I admit and know I need to work on). I wouldn't ever make someone feel unreasonable for not being able to make a certain date though 🤷‍♀️ it's a shame but things happen.