To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

oh is it bullying then? I mistakenly though it was a small number of posts of silly lighthearted posts (obvious some true despite bing silly - ie I *haven't told DS's social worker I intend to visit DS in borstal, I don't think she would take it well) to some rather extreme views. Goodness, I would think you would need to develop a thick skin if you think my posts were bullying.

Kewcumber - poor argument. A child will prefer a parent who abuses them emotionally, physically, even sexually to a child carer. Thank you - you have totally proved my point. A child will prefer its parents (whatever their faults) over child carers.

Not at all spicemonster. Surely I am allowed to hold the view that children are better off cared for by their parents without it being to try and persuade others of the validity of it. I think it but I dont care if you do. MY way is in keeping with MY views so is therefore right for me but I dont expect YOUR way to be in keeping with MY views. What I mean to say is that the way I do things is only right for me because its me IYSWIM.

blueshoes, thats because she is the nursery manager and can influence how the children are treated, what activities they do, what they are given to eat, who works in the nursery etc etc

would make all the difference

but wouldn't like to be consider a bully so will consider myeslf told off and stomp off (to get my cup of tea).

ooh, I leave this thread for 24 hours and it gets even more fun - lets throw rocks at women who leave their children in nurseries rather than used a sainted child minder. What exactly do you all think goes on at nurseries? They don't line the kids up for target practice you know.

And what's so marvellous about child minders, from what I can tell from this thread some seem to have taken the career option solely so that they can get paid by someone else to look after their OWN children. (I did say some before every CM on MN howls for blood)

I expect my DS does miss me sometimes during the day, like I miss him, but I am busy working, and he is too busy doing craft/playing in the scented garden/multi sensroy room/ball pool/hydro therapy pool/eating beautiful organic home cooked food, to get too upset about it. Or maybe they give him a happy pill half an hour before we turn up to get him to create the illusion that he has enjoyed himself. Maybe, but I doubt it.

Blueshoes - Why does she not send her child to a different nursery to the one she works at? If you read my post that was the exception!

Kewcumber - sure you want tea? I might have a drop of something better going spare , you'll have to get a wiggle on tho'...

Ah Soapbox, which post are you speaking of?

"Thank you - you have totally proved my point" you;re welcome. consider it a freebie for my bullying posts.

Kewcumber - many bullys say 'we were only having a laugh miss'!

bullying?

wtf?

On slagging off parents by carers, of course that happens. I slag off my boss all the time - but still like my work, I do.

In fact, shall I say that the parent who is prepared to be slagged off black and blue but still leaves her child with that carer, because her child is happy there and loves the carer, is the ultimate in maternal sacrifice and putting her child's interests first and not allowing any petty jealousy to derail their relationship.

Far more worthy than the parent who blindly insists he/she is the best person to take care of that child, simply because she is the parent.

thanks elffriend but but I dont drink

Message withdrawn

chelsygirl - they might discuss the fact that I send my dd to nursery on days I don't work but if they disapprove then they are being unreasonable.

Viggoswife, you are allowed to hold the view that your children are better off cared for by you. If you say, though, that all children are better off cared for by their parents, you implicitly criticise the choice of those who elect to place their children in some form of childcare. You are also, as the research demonstrates, at odds with the evidence.

Inappropriate flippancy has been redesignated bullying. Must leave before I try to start a serious debate on bullying which frankly would be far more interesting that the same old, same old MN argument about childcare.

or people are saying something I don't agree with

cry troll

as nicetry was called earlier on this thread

it was a joke, you asked about studies into negative issues regarding parents, and i jokingly said Social services have thousands of them. I thought people would get the joke. You didnt. having a sence of humour doesnt mean that your a bully.

at my nursery 6 of staff have their own children in the nursery(obviously they are allocated different room from their own child) and the baby room mgr is due back from mat leave soon with her baby. clearly it is good enough for their children too

got some hard core choccies around somewhere if that's any help?

Message withdrawn

now you're talking but I relaly must go have something to eat... could you courier them over.

The poster (can't remember who now) that suggested nicetry might be a troll came back and apologised for doing so.

Apparently she'd searched for posts by nicetry and because the search facility was down couldn't find any other posts.

Viggoswife - this is the reponse I was referring to:

'WallofSilence I was about to launch into a list of my achievements but then I read over your post again and thought what a horrible, unneccessary and ignorant post, why would I need to justify myself to such an unpleasant person? My goodness this thread really is a fine example of quite how awful women can be to each other isnt it? Next..........'

A rather dramatic response to the following questions:

'viggoswife... don't you ever aspire to, I dunno.... more?

Even your name.. you are someone's wife

You champ at the bit to have your kids home again, do they define you?

Don't you just want to be you for a bit? If you keep doing this you will have a big empty hole and an unfulfilled life when they leave home'