To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

If I looked after my DS full time he would be a juvenile delinquent by 12 and I would be in a striaght jaclet. AS it is under the stabilising influence of his CM he will probably make it to at least 16 before his first SBO. SOmething to celebrate I think.

yes, i believe social services have thousands of 'studies'

viggoswife:

I dont think my way is right for anyone but me. Please tell me any point in any of my posts where I have tried to argue that my way should be someone elses way. I havent. I have put my view forward that I believe children are happier being cared for by their parents.

Can you explain to me how that last sentence backs up your first statement? You're entirely contradicting yourself I'm afraid.

to the poster who asked, I don't work in childcare anymore as my beliefs don't sit well with working as a childcare provider

but I know of many many others who feel like me and still continue to provide childcare as its what they know and they are making a fortune from it

at one childminder meeting I walked out as all and I mean all the childminders present were slagging the parents of their mindees and I thought why do the job then

as I said ages ago there are many great cminders on MN but none in RL I've met come close and I don't think this is unusual..............

I'm working now to earn enough money so I can take a sabbatical and visit him in Borstal as a teenager. He will need me more then so it makes perfect sense.

sorry - that middle bit should be in quotes - curses that you can't edit posts on mn

and now I come to think of it - I relaly don;t care if my CM thinks I'm a horses arse (as I think my boss is) she is great with DS, I pay her, we're all happy.

For those that think there are about 100 reasons why many women should work (too many for me to post here) I suppose we post because we want those who are wrong to have their eyes opened to their mistakes and not feel they have some kind of moral high ground that just because they are at home that is better for their children but all of us secure in our choices aren't really bothered about this at all. It's just interesting to write about. I never doubt - I know what works best for many women and indeed the greater good which is arguably even more important than individual nuclear family selfish reasons to stay home.

"MsHighwater you are right in saying that no one is claiming to be unhappy with the choices they have made. I didnt say that"

Ummm, yes you did => "If you are all so unhappy with the choices you make for your kids and their care then change it"

"Please tell me any point in any of my posts where I have tried to argue that my way should be someone elses way."

Here, viggoswife
"I have put my view forward that I believe children are happier being cared for by their parents." By saying that, you invite the presumption that you think parents who choose to use childcare are choosing to do something that will make their children less happy.

chelsygirl, is it possible that mums who say they are happy with their choice do so because they actually are happy with it?

kewcumber, thats a great post!

its the thinking that the childcare providers never discuss the parents in anything less than glowing terms that I keep raising my eyebrows at on here

Bethelsie - so you believe that children should be placed in fulltime daycare incase their parents abuse them?

lulumama I am a bloody good CM, my mindees are completely happy in my care and I love the dcs I mind. That is why my parents of toddler dc tell me she will nag her DG next week to come to mine because I am now on mat leave. Perhaps I have got an answer after all in that if they leave her with me for the total time, even when they finish early, they must be happy that their dds are being well looked after and are happy. So I shall take it as a compliment.
I became a CM because when I worked my CM was not very good and rarely shared what had happened during the day, to the point where I wouldn't even know how much she ate, drank, pooed or played. In short I lost touch with dd. Perhaps this unfortunate experience made me feel that I wanted to collect dd at the earliest convenience and has led me to the lack of understanding about why others don't feel this way.

PuppyMonkey please read my post of 23.57 on 22/2/08 as it explains that my mindees pay for worked hours only, any owing is refunded at the end of the contract.

My mindee toddler cries when she has to go home on occasions if she is playing.

I think I have answered most of the questions, sorry it took so long to post back but have been busy rearranging my living room, vaxing carpet, and general nesting all with dd in tow .

I have never met a nursery worker who would put her own baby in fulltime daycare (why would they, they've seen the reality) unless it was the one she worked at -and that's not the same because she is there!!

No it was a joke, which i thought was quite funny. Obviously you dont get my sense of humour.

I lurrve to pretned that if only I had the choice of not working, then I would love to stay at home and be with S 24/7. Thankfully necessity spares me from calling that little bluff.

thats because nursery work is generally badly paid and it wouldnt be worth working full time. staff get discounts usually if own child goes to same nursery.

Nicetry - thats because nursery worker don't earn enough to pay the fees. And if you like looking after children all day why wouldn;t you look after your own.

Thats the most bizarre argument I've heard in a long while

Oh what the hell, I'll join in then (but only 'cos the farkin rugby is on and I cannot be bothered to leave home). I have more or less read this thread and been variously irritated and amused depending on how barking and/or sanctimonious the posts have been.

(apologies in advance if this is slightly more stident than my usual posts DH is bugging me by talking to the telly and I have wine...)

Nicetry (sorry to single you out - have lost track of who else is on which side of the net - I chose to have a child. I choose to spend a lot of time with that child. But I also work - quite a lot. I also chose to have an education and be a useful member of society as well as a parent. Questions (given your absolute views on what a mother should do):

Would you fundamentally prefer that we went back to a time when mummy stayed home and daddy went to work? Best interests of baby etc.

If so, do you think we were in a better position as a society when we did not educate women because, well, frankly, why would we?

Do you believe that we should go back to women who are mummies v 'oh you're one of those career women then'.

Equally though, do you believe that those women who chose not to have children but concentrate on said career are "selfish".

Are you seriously telling me that you think I am not acting in the interests of my child and that I am damaging him?

Sorry again to single out nicetry...feel free any one else.

LOL at Viggoswife, who had by far the most defensive response of the whole thread to someone asking her things from an opposite pov. On that basis I assume you are very uncomfortable with your choices

Oh, I forgot to say, I was not making more of the initial OP. I didn't want to elaborate too much due to the confidentiality issues, however, I felt it was necessary to give more specific info before being convicted without a trial.

I have said many times on this thread that IT IS NOT A SAHM V WOHM debate. I do not feel guilty for my choices to stay at home as someone suggested Why would I? It was my choice. I also do not expect others not to work. The thread was never about that.
On that note and having got sort of answers I shall leave it.
Glad I gave everyone something to get stuck into, the astounding number of posts is a personal best!

bethelsie - it s of course tru that far fewr children are abused by their CM's than their parents. I think all children should be made to go to CM's in their own interests.

wow kewcumber we had the same thoughts, i wonder if anyone else did!!!!!

Kewcumber - if you don't like looking after children, why have them? Absolutely horrified!!

haha at least kewcumber gets my humour

nicetry, I don't know any nursey worker who has put their child inot a nursery either, there was actually a thread title asking that very same question on MN once upon a time and everyone who had worked in childcare agreed that they had never put their kids into a nursery. If posters here want to believe its down to money, let them believe that. If you have worked in a few nurseries as I have you'll know different. I wonder how many posters here have actually spent a week working in a nursery? Not many I guess.