To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

FGS if they work full-time, even more need for those few precious moments on their own. To keep sane, and thus provide good care for DCs for the remaining 14 hours a day. Including all night long when the CM sleeps blissfully, and the DCs wake every two hours, or worse, in shifts.

surely if a parent is working ft they might need that time to do stuff..you know boring stuff like banking and housework. they have paid you. you are looking after their child. it is not left in the care of wolves. I just cannot see the problem.

No. Still don't get it. When I worked full-time, if I could pick up early I did. If I had a day off, then so did my child/ren.

ds even did all his homework at his childmindes

You try to choose a nursery/childminder where your child is happy, and if they're happy there, then guess what? Sometimes they'd rather be there than with you!

Trying to get chores done in a rush at the same time as spending time with children is not always lovely bonding time - sometimes it is stressful and even (if it involves DIY or hot saucepans) potentially dangerous. And if you work full time you very often are doing all this stuff in a rush.

Thats my point nicetry- any time doing anything with your child can be a quality activity, my dd loves helping us cook dinner, she is 25mths. What about quality time eating as a family

Then one of you should do the Tesco shop when he's in bed. It's all a question of priorities surely?

a day off maybe, but doesnt anyone ever want to recharge "alone"

Are you suggesting leaving him on his own at night?

When I have a day off I always leave my DD at nursery, usuallly because I'm having a day off to get something done (and I don't mean my nails). And no, my DD doesn't enjoy long shopping trips, she'd much rather be playing with her friends in nursery.

Sheesh!

When ds was younger tescos wasnt open 24 hours I dont think plus why would I go shopping at night when I could go late afternoon??

sorry but unless you know the ins and outs of the family. how can you judge.

Nice try "After a long day away from his mother I am sure he would prefer to be with her whatever the activity."

Not really. My ds is happy in his nursery, he is also happy with our aupair, he is also happy with me, SO LONG as he is doing what he wants to be doing - which does NOT include being dragged to shops when tired, put on the floor while I cook, ignored whilst I get home admin out of the way. When I am at home, he wants and deserves my 100% attention. I have to structure my life to meet those needs.

BTW, I bf and co-sleep with ds 17 mths who still wakes 4-5x a night, sometimes more. I see plenty of him, thank you.

Nothing to do with the CM how the parent(s) spend their time when their LOs are with the CM, absolutely nothing.

I speak with my CM hat on IYSWIM

Yes, you are right. It is a question of priorites and sometimes that meant ds or even dd being in a place they loved whilst I had some spare time to catch up on chores or go shopping or even have a coffee.

maybe the parent is on MN instead of picking up from CM early

Before I had the ds's I used to often bump into my SIL out shopping, she would have taken a half day and left her children at nursery. At the time I used to wonder why she wouldn't spend that extra time with her children.
Then I had my own! Nicetry, you are joking, right?
Shopping with children =
1/ Moaning about going shopping in the first place
2/ child getting lost and involving six burly security men to find him
3/ Wanting to go to MacDonalds
4/ Spending one hour is MacDonalds eating 2 and a half chicken nuggets and 4 chips.
5/ Going to Smyths toystore because of a promise I apparently made 3 months ago
6/ While in Smyths needing to go to the toilet. The nearest toilet is half a mile away
7/ Time left for actual shopping = 15min.

I just dont get the whole being a martyr thing.

Supermarkets at night? Where I live we don't have all night supermarkets, plus I don't have a car and if I send DP he gets all the wrong things.

I can't cook with my DD because she'll try to grab hot saucepans, knives, whatever she shouldn't be touching. I do make biscuits with her on a Sunday afternoon, but I don't count rushing to get the evening meal ready as quality time for anyone.

Heres my take on this. I think the less time you spend with your kids the harder you find it to do everyday stuff with them hanging around. YOu are just not used to it so it seems really tough and everythign takes ages and they ask pointless questions all the time.

When you spend all day everyday with kids around you just get used to shopping, cooking, gardening, doing domestic admin with them tagging along. They still ask pointless questions and witter and get under your feet, but you are more in the zone.

My theory and my personal experience is the more time I spend away from the little lovlies the harder I find it to look after them when I am with them.

Does that make sense.

nope. I need time alone. I have time in work (challenging career change), time with DS in his daytime, time with DS throughout his nighttime as he is a poor sleeper. He will not play alone for as much as 5 minutes. The chance of my reading a book / doing the ironing / having a shower / coming on mn without him shouting for a 'biiig cuddle', pulling me away and demanding 110% attention if we are both at home is non-existant. If I get home from work early, I treasure that time alone. I love him more than life, but I have always been a very solitary person and making the transition to having a full on, very clingy toddler is made far easier by being able to gather those few stolen hours.

juuule I was exactly like you when I worked as a full time nurse. If I ever got chance to pick up early I would. I missed dd and couldn't wait to see her (6-9mths at the time.) The only exception to this was if I arrived and she was fast asleep, then I might go and do something and come back later so she didn't need to be woken up.
Actually, I know quite a bit about their circumstances as we are all forces.

But if you dont work then you can go shopping and do chores with a wide awake child rather than a tired fractious child.

Shopping with children doesn't mean that when I go with mine,chipmonkey. They are used to shopping with me and know what we are doing. True, under the age of two can be a bit challenging but after that mine usually enjoy it.