To think the parents of children who are in childcare would like to see them more often?

[tori32]

I CM and have several sets of parents who finish work early on many occasions who never collect their child early. I know I am paid and it does not bother me in the slightest to look after them for their agreed hours, I just feel sorry for the child because they are missing out on this extra time with parents who work full time.

I was a working mum for 3 months (as in not CM) but always collected dd early when I finished early because I wanted to spend time with her. AIBU?

I'm a SAHM, with both DSs at school (although DS2 is only in the nursery class so the very fact I make him go there when I'm just lolling around at home makes me a really bad mother - The fact that he loves it & gets way more stimulation & fun than I could ever give him at home means nothing I expect)
Even before DS2 started school I used a childminder one day a week to give me a break.

It's been half-term this week & I've been doing stuff with them every day. This morning I absolutely had to go to the post office & do various other bits & bobs & it was best I did them on my own (there're always queues at our local PO) so I paid a neighbour's au pair to look after them for a couple of hours. Is that so bad?

The truth is, some people just love love love being with small children all day. Some don't. But if the people who loved it were the only ones 'allowed' to 'have children in the first place' then our birth rate would be in super-minus figures.

Children don't need 'undivided attention' or 'quality time' as much as the certain knowledge that given a choice their parents would rather be with them than anywhere else in the world.

Nicetry: "Kids who have always gone to the supermarket, bank, helped with housework and preparing meals will behave better than children who never experience these things."

Disagree, depends on the child, depends on their age, their mood, and whether you are dragging them after a longish day at CMs, rather than first thing in the morning.

Also, how are WOHMs who only have the odd day off to pick up their dcs early (as you insist) ALWAYS be going to supermarkets, helping with housework to reach that nirvana of easiness you speak of. There will never be enough time. A soapbox and anchovy have already astutely pointed out, this is just another WOHM/SAHM argument in disguise.

If I have a day off an unhurried trip into town, to the bank, shops etc with the two younger DSs can be nice.

If I need to fit doing these same things into the time between finishing work and getting tea etc ready it is much easier and less stressful to leave the little ones at nursery and pick them up on the way back from town.

Don't think it's being disguised anymore. We are being 'discussed' on the staffroom thread too.

"Kids who have always gone to the supermarket, bank, helped with housework and preparing meals will behave better than children who never experience these things"

What a huge generalisation. My mum rarely did these things with us. She prefered doing them on her own. And despite this, I was a well behaved child (and am quite a pleasant adult) And I do the same with my dc. I know that I can take them anywhere, at any time, because they are well behaved.

Hmm do you only have one young child Tori?

So you can't possibly empathise with a working mother of 1 and 3 yo boys who has no family around - if I want a trip to the bank in peace or a trolley dash, I'll do it while the children are happy at nursery with their little friends.

Besides, if I turned up early once in a while, they would expect it more often. By sticking to the routine, they know that mummy comes after tea and story time.

Sorry to all other lovely childminders but threads like this just confirm that I was right to use a nursery not cm.

yes nicetry, but what I wanted when I was in that position was to be able to enjoy my small amount of time with my DD as much as possible, I wanted to give her 100% attention and not spend all our time with me trying to hoover around her etc etc

Just to clarify.
yes I do have to do chores with the DC there, such as cooking their lunch, hoovering under the table after lunch, washing lunch pots. It is actually beneficial to children to learn life skillls and it is actively encouraged for children to participate in i.e. loading the washing machine, by OFSTED
No I do not shop whilst working unless I have run out of something urgently and then it is only a local shop, again, actively encouraged as part of life skills development.
I do go on MN when my oldest DC is at school and other 2 have the same nap time, or at night.

Gosh, your grocers/butchers are open late in the evening then Tori

Oh - and at the weekends DD comes shopping with me, cooks with me, cleans with me (badly), visits friends/family, and is barely away from my side

Are you actually just Jealous that someone had some child free time??

little comment from tori ,that she has no down time, perhaps her OP is more sour grapes

i hope to god my CM does not judge me as a mother in that way and thinks i should not be allowed child free time

So in fact the example of doing a large supermarket shop isn't something that you do with all your dcs? Or do you make a point of taking out your child to the supermarket after 17:15?

Anyway, I don't get this theory that children want to 'help' you do housework, cooking etc. No, they want to use the exact implement you need at that very moment & have a tantrum if they don't get it. It's once they get bored & wander off that you get to do whatever chore it is - alone.
Baking cookies with a child is fun. Making shepherd's pie isn't

tbh I don't give a sod what any one else thinks as this is such a small issue it hardly matters, but I really do wonder what kind of person thinks it is OK to make such huge generalisations about a such a large number of parents. How can anyone possibly understand the dynamics or personal circumstances of another family.

As a CM you have a duty to be non-judgemental about this sort of thing I thought

nicetry: "Children don't need 'undivided attention' or 'quality time' as much as the certain knowledge that given a choice their parents would rather be with them than anywhere else in the world."

You are breaking my heart, nicetry. What a meaningless statement. Actually I tell dd that I have to work, dh has to work. And we work rather than spend time with her. So far she seems ok with that, and is quite looking forward to the day that she will also Work.

Totally agree scampadoodle.

go and look on their staff room thread and you'll see the op is not the only cm who is so judgemental of the parents who pay their wages

We could spend all day with the kids. It would mean taking them out of school and us giving up our jobs, losing the house etc etc but they would then know we really loved them.

tori32, put this in your pipe and smoke it.

I work 3 days some weeks and 2 days other weeks. My dd has a nursery place 3 days every week and I still send her on the days I am not at work. I must be a bad mother, right?

Actually, my dd loves being at nursery because she has friends there and she gets on great with the staff, too. I also value my days to myself, which I use to do things that either I would find difficult to do with her along or that would bore her stiff.

My dd, my choice and she's thriving on it.

Oh dear

maybe, they pick their child up at the normal time,so they can do shopping,chores etc.. to leave teh evenings/weekends free for 'quality time' with their children? why are you a CM if you think parents should be with their DCs more often, surely you are facilitating their leaving their children?