for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

He obvious wasn’t right to bring it up in front of your DC.

But a diet of leftovers mixed with ketchup and mayo sounds disordered. He might well be worried about you.

Surely he/the kids can have the leftovers tomorrow? So no waste.

He is BU

Yet another man sabotaging his partner's attempts to diet and adopt healthier eating habits. YANBU OP. I sometimes think these men resent their partners having willpower and dislike the attention they get as they lose weight and get compliments. Good for you for sticking to your guns!

Why are you regularly eating left overs mixed with mayonnaise and ketchup?

If my spouse was following a fairly extreme diet and talking about “being strict with my diet” in front of my child with body issues I’d probably be concerned about that.

But there’s no excuse for airing those concerns in front of your son and his friend. And arguing with you about the financial and environmental impact of wasting a few bits of potato, while eating beef steaks, is a bit ridiculous.

Is ketchup actually keto?

This on both counts

He was rude, but I suspect he is concerned about you and your son.

Leftovers with ketchup (is it keto?) and mayo doesn't sound like a good diet.

He shouldn't have been so disparaging- did he cook you a steak? I presume he understands a keto diet? Could you not have told him you'd have salad with yours?

Dp is on a restrictive medical diet and he or I cook but use alternatives for potato with cauli broccoli etc. or have more salad or keto veg so everyone ends up eating mostly the same with subs for carbs.

I’m sorry, I can’t get past the leftovers with ketchup bit.

im not sure any of this is healthy in front of a kid, his lecturing or your eating

It's still highly debatable whether a keto diet is a healthier eating habit. It's wacky, short term stuff designed for rapid weight loss but incredibly difficult to do properly and has risks. Far better to change one's lifestyle for good.

Perhaps these men love their wives deeply and don't like crash diets so are finding it difficult to deal with. I'd hate it if my OH tried some wacky diet that I felt was not good for them.

Regular ketchup isn't keto, it's full of sugar.

Shit examples from both parents there.

There's avoiding waste and then there is treating yourself like a dustbin. I wouldn't eat it either.

Why are you eating leftovers? Why didn't you have steak?

He’s probably finding it tedious and frustrating as he’s the one that cooks.
im the cook in my house and I get equally as annoyed whenever my husband tries a new diet, especially as I know it won’t last forever and all the weight will go straight back on which will then make all the efforts I’ve gone to accommodate him menu wise a complete waste of my time.

I clicked because I'm tired and misread as 'fox refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked'.

Label me disappointed.

Well I imagine he is confused about your carb intake considering ketchup is full of sugar and not Keto friendly.

You said, "I like to be strict with my diets..." Which to me means you've tried several of these strict eating regimes and they don't work for you as you either break them or regain the weight. I wonder if your dh is fed up with what he sees as just another fad that he has to cater for? If the diets aren't working then perhaps look at the cause rather than the symptoms and treat that. Learning and then being able to model healthy weight management without the strict and restrictive diets will hopefully help steer your son in the right direction too.

A lot of people with auto immune conditions swear by the keto diet.

Why do you care?

I don't understand why the conversation needed to be more than complicated than
"There are chips leftover, would you like some?"
"No thank you"

@Chasingadvice odd reaction.
I care because in addition to telling her what she has to eat, is she also going without balanced healthy meals of her choosing? Why is he cooking and eating while she's existing on leftovers and ketchup? Whose choice is that?

On the other hand it seems to be odd to be strictly keto but eating ketchup regularly. So his reaction might be informed by not knowing what's actually going on. A bit like when I came home to my vegan housemate eating a cream cake, when the day before she'd told us all we couldn't keep cheese on the top shelf in the fridge because that was the vegan shelf and she didn't want her food contaminated by its proximity to cheese.

When you say "I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this" mixed with ketchup and mayo for flavour - do you mean

a) I eat regular meals of my own, but if there are leftovers such as meat or cheese from DH's cooking I have no objection to eating those mixed with ketchup / mayo

or

b) my usual diet is leftovers mixed with ketchup / mayo

because that will make a difference to the answers you get.

Ah @MagicTape I think you've pretty well summed up the confusion and mixed responses here!

I mean he was a bit harsh but if you know your DS has had an eating disorder in the past then talking about a diet in front of him is frankly cruel and he might have been reacting from a place of concern for DS's mental health.

Also your diet sounds super unhealthy

Your husband reprimanding you in front of your child and his friend is totally unacceptable. I don't give a fuck what it was about. If your husband had something to say about your eating habits, it should have been done in private.