for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

Ketchup isn't keto.

Keto is about keeping your carbs/sugar low enough to maintain ketosis. A small amount of ketchup won't knock someone out of ketosis. There is sugar/carbs in nearly everything.

It's a spectrum, to be honest, some can and some can't. I cannot have lactose free milk, I throw up. Butter, do you mean regular butter? I will immediately have a reaction and need antihistamines.

A lot of lactose intolerents can digest and enjoy ghee. I'm unable to 😔. Imagine having to give up ghee 😢I'm just glad I am able to tolerate coconut oil... even olive oils are a no, for me - lactose intolerance has different impacts based on each person's body and its make up.

I don't do strict keto, can't be arsed. But yes, everything has carbs in it, even veggies and protein. Ketosis is maintained under 20g of carbs (I keep mine under 50g but I also exercise every day). A typical keto diet consists of meat, greens, nuts and vegetables. It all adds up, and when you also add a tbsp of ketchup with 5 g of sugar per serving, then it topples you out of ketosis.

Yes, you can include ketchup if you precisely count your macros, but the average dieter usually avoids that because it really is a pain, and not sustainable in the long run. I don't think OP is counting macros either, if she is frequently eating ketcup and fries!

It is better to avoid ketchup altogether or use sugarfree one, than get caught in a loop counting macros rabidly, which often leads to fatigue and may cause the dieter to drop the diet itself.

Exactly, carbs are in nearly everything naturally, so adding processed 25% sugar ketchup to meals will tend to push over the 20g threshold even if otherwise she's just on meat and veg. Just the taste of sugar laden ketchup (or even sugar free if containing sweetener - triggers the brain same as sugar in many people) is enough to cause an insulin reaction.

Imagine having to give up ghee

@captainmarvella

No. Just no. The most recent time I went off was for saag aloo. Ghee-tastic. And I find potato doesn't trigger my stupid stomach the way bread or pasta does.

She doesn't eat "ketchup and fries". She mixes a little bit of ketchup into mayo. Other than that you have no idea what she eats. Keto can be maintained by staying until 30g of net carbs. That's actually very doable if your diet is mostly low-carb veg and moderate protein. Plenty of room for a blob of ketchup or a few berries.

You also don't have any idea if OP is eating low carb veg and moderate protein!

I agree to it, actually, but for someone who is new to keto (a month old), the nuances and intricacies of keto diet and its macros are a bit much to master immediately. It's an on going journey and education. To learn the discipline first, keto beginners really need to keep it simple and not have 'I can work around this' loopholes. Imo It is just better to keep it simple, and not include sugary stuff, even in a tiny amount, because it could start a slippery slope.

Yes, that was a typo mistake, didn't mean to imply OP was eating fries every day (she didn't say that).

The problem with a blob of ketchup over a few berries is that ketchup is basically white, refined sugar. Berries take a little digestion whereas ketchup is just pure. And berries are great for you.

Surely if we're avoiding anything on keto/low-carb it's refined white sugar.

I'd cheat with a few things but sugar isn't one of them.

I never suggested she was. I was just disagreeing with someone saying "ketchup isn't keto" which is incorrect. It isn't clean keto, but it can be part of dirty keto if used in moderation. It's actually really hard for people new to keto to do it clean from the start because it is such a big change. It's better to just get started then make adjustments later if things start to plateau or you want to become more clean.

I used to make my own mayo but got lazy so I just buy Hellmann's now. It has sugar in it. It hasn't knocked me out of ketosis. I've been doing this for a long time now. I know my limits.

Isn't a Keto diet supposed to be sugar free and high fat. Ketchup is not going help with that.

Ketchup is fine as long as you're under the carb limit.

Well the point is to get into ketosis...and you can do while choosing berries or ketchup.

A tbsp of full sugar Heinz ketchup has 3.5g carbs.
2.5 Strawberries has about the same.

Realistically how much goodness are you really going to get from 2.5 strawberries?
Most of the figures of the nutritional value of fruit and veg is outdated and they have far less nutrients than they used to.

Ah ketchup.. its the new bananas on toast.

OP - he's a dick, he knows fries are not keto, if he hadn't offered them you wouldn't have needed to mention not eating them due to your diet, and so no one would have been talking about dietary issues in front of your DS.

He's an even bigger dick for having a go at you about it - at all, let alone in front of someone else and their friend!

It’s sounds like a waist or waste dilemma. Besides, he could have put the chips in the fridge and reheated tomorrow.

I agree. It is so irritating dealing with people who can't eat this, that or the other. One portion of chips is not going to derail a weight loss programme. What you are eating doesn't sound great anyway.

Is there really such a thing as knowing exactly how many chips you need to make?

The OP didn't say it was for weight loss.

And one portion of chips would in fact derail the OP, because it would kick her body out of ketosis, so it could take her a few days to get back into it.

Sorry but weird diet leftovers,ketchup and mayo and to carry on like that in front of your child your both in the wrong. But tbh 1 month into a diet thats not a diet and you sound hard to live with and sounds more like hubby's frustrations at you came out yes maybe at the wrong time but he was in the right sorry especially worrying about your child!!

I know you don't want to share your reasons for being on this diet, and that's totally fair enough, but I think the reasons are relevant here.

If you're on a very strict diet because that's what your doctor has recommended for your specific medical conditions, then I think it's fine to reference that in front of your dc and his friend. If you're on a very strict diet because of your own disordered relationship with food, then it would be extremely unreasonable for you to talk about your very restricted eating habits in front of your ds who already has issues around body image etc.

Either way, your DH was wrong to dress you down in front of your ds and his friend. However, he might have felt that it was important to say something in front of them to counteract the comments that you had already made.

YANBU for not eating the chips if you're trying to lose weight.

Food is no less wasted when eaten by someone who's not hungry or trying to avoid that type of food for health reasons than if it goes in the bin.

However, there's no need to bin them because the best use of leftover chips is to make them into a chip omelette, so either your DH or DS can have them like that today if they haven't yet been binned.

To be fair I think both you and your DH have been unreasonable here. He most certainly should not be calling you out in that way in front of his friend! However that tells me that he is unhappy with the way you have been eating/dieting and subconsciously by having a friend there to hear it too he is trying to make a bigger emphasis in the hope you may stop eating the way you have been.

Unfortunately your DS will be picking up on the food/diet vibes with all this going on.

I cannot have lactose free milk, I throw up. Butter, do you mean regular butter? I will immediately have a reaction and need antihistamines.

@captainmarvella This isn't lactose intolerance (although you could definitely have that too!)- you are almost certainly reacting to casein, a milk protein. That means you won't be able to eat any milk-derived products, regardless of whether they have lactose or not.

Talking about weight loss diets in front of children isn't healthy, this is what would piss me off. Especially talking about being strict with a diet. You could have just said no. My guess is you talk a lot about your weight and your diet in front of your teenager.