for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

Well the chips could have been frozen and used another day so that was a bit of a storm in a teacup for “food waste”.

Your husband absolutely shouldn’t be discussing your diet in front of your son who has disordered eating but I also don’t think having a restricted diet and strange eating habits when you have a child who has disordered eating is a wise thing at all. People can argue the merits of being healthy or if it works but all your son will take notice of is restrictions and issues around food. He will see you eating strange meals and being hung up on your weight and it will feed into the loop.

I agree.

I didn't read it as Op only eating leftovers but "suitable" leftover as well as her own meal.

So I guess he expected her to eat the leftover chips?

Doesn't mean he should be shouting at her though!

Well you read things that weren’t there then. OP said she usually eats leftovers mixed with ketchup and mayo. She then goes on to explain how her husband cooked steak for himself and the boys and not her, even though this would have been perfect for an Keto diet and she was offered the left over fries. I find it almost disturbing that she thinks alL she deserves is other people’s scraps.

🤣 I can’t stop laughing at this 😂 imagining a 🦊 turning his nose up at chips Op’s husband cooked! 🤣🤣

I'm confused. Why did DH make steaks for himself and the kids but not for you? What kind of keto diet isn't compatible with steak? Why are you eating leftovers?

I agree with the posters who said it sounds like you have disordered eating and your DH is worried.

Why should you force down food you don't want to eat?

Let him eat the extra - he's the one who over-catered.

OR - (revolutionary idea this, I know) - put them in the bin. It's a few chips, not a roast peacock stuffed with larks' tongues.

So if there are no leftovers Op doesn't eat?

There are keto ketchups such as Skinny brand but in general no it's not

It's unclear whether the OP normally eats the leftovers in addition to her meal, or that's all she has. Neither is good.

Also need to know why she was the only one who didn't have a steak, especially as it would fit well into a keto diet. Maybe they only had 4 steaks and the OPs steak was given to the unexpected guest?

Although if that was the case, it would have been better to make something like fajitas, where the steaks could have been sliced up and shared between everyone, which would have worked well for the OPs diet as she could have just not had a wrap.

He absolutely should not have spoken to you like that in front of your son.

The Leftover Diet sounds weird. Steak has zero carbs. Why didn't you have one?

I know - that's why I love Mumsnet

Ignoring wether it's a healthy diet or not, you know that Hellmans do a Mayo and Ketchup.mix sauce ?
Called Saucy Sauce.

Do they . . . ?🤔

Or do YOU . . . ?

<hard stare>

It's always difficult to caveat everything one posts. But whilst keto may well be excellent for a small subsection of society, the vast majority will try a keto diet due to the publicised fat burning potential, do it for a few months, lose a load of fat + muscle mass and then return to their old ways. Sad but true, hence the wacky comment but didn't mean to offend those with genuine medical reasons.

It seems to be unobtainable for so many but long term healthier eating is key. It's fine to have an occasional blowout but if eating well 90% of the time, the other 10% just won't matter.

It also doesn't matter if OP is following for Wright loss reasons or not
DS has body image issues and hearing about diets could, in his head, be seen as about that regardless.

Please come back @carolnotduffy

Would love to hear your update. Maybe after breakfast when you've been thrown a scrap of bacon or something.

As someone who has grown up with body issues and a mum who has masively disordered eating habits, I sympathise with your husband. I think he was coming from a place of concern and frustration both for you and your son. It sounds like you're openly discussing your diet in front of your son, and not modelling to him how to eat good food in moderation. Why didn't you eat the steak with your family but leave the chips?

The leftovers bit just sounds really depressingly sad.

Is this going to be like the Switch thread where OP comes back and suddenly drops a massive update revealing that DH is actually a massive twat in other ways which should really have been the point?

I find the concept of eating food you don't want to avoid "wasting" it really, really weird.

You are still wasting it if you're putting it in your body when it's not wanted/ needed. It's no more waste to compost it. It doesn't make any difference and if you eat it, it comes out the other end of your body as waste anyway.

Also, any "waste" is his fault for cooking too many chips when presumably he knew you wouldn't want them due to your diet.

OP says she will eat leftovers "which are compatible with this [her own keto diet]", which to me reads that she's fine with the principle of clearing up leftovers generally if they can be worked into her own keto-type meals, but isn't going to eat leftovers that are carby ones she generally avoids. That's my understanding; not that she survives on table scraps with condiments!

My MIL is like that - always pressuring people to eat food they don't want rather than waste it. She's got to a size 20/22 worrying about the hungry children in Africa.

Now you're being logical which isn't as much fun as imagining OP living solely on Keto scraps mixed with ketchup & mayo

Is a KETO diet ok for IBS then ?

I have (think I do but a Colonoscopy is booked for Friday to see if its something else) IBS and on the Lactose Free milk, no more cheese or chocolate etc etc. I think I will go look at this KETO.

He was an arse. FYI chips can be frozen!