for refusing to eat the chips my husband cooked?

[carolnotduffy]

Hello everyone,

For background, I've been on a keto diet lately and so have been avoiding carbs altogether. I usually eat leftovers cooked by DH which are compatible with this (mixed with a little bit of ketchup and mayo if I want to add some good flavour to it, it goes well with anything in my opinion!)

Last night, DS invited a friend over for dinner. DH made steaks for himself and the kids, but overestimated exactly how many chips he needed. There were plenty left after the meal which would have been a shame to put to waste, but I explained that I could not eat them as I like to be strict with my diets. As a result, DH called me 'hypocritical' and 'misguided' in front of DS and his friend as I frequently discuss the need to be environmentally friendly and avoiding waste where possible.

What I cannot stand is that this was said in spite of the fact that he is very much aware of my diet and the reasons I have for pursuing it (personal, I don't wish to discuss if that's okay.) He went on to say that I was being a poor influence for pursuing a diet which involved such heavy restrictions in front of DS who has previously expressed troubles over his body image.

If he had a problem with it, surely he should have brought it up beforehand rather than humiliating me? I've been on this diet for a month now so I'm not quite sure why he's only now expressing his frustration. I don't expect much from this post, but I felt the need to have this off my chest.

You're both unreasonable.
Him for reprimanding you and you for setting such a shit example to your son with body issues.
Stop eating scraps! - what message are you sending your son?!

My best friend was like you - lived off scraps from the family plates and her DD had body issues that developed into an eating disorder.

I couldn’t be doing with all this fad following.

The fact the P’s ds has a history of eating disorder when his mother seemingly follows one fad after another speaks volumes.

The DH picked the wrong reason to call the OP a hypocrite. But the fact is, she is a hypocrite wen she claims to be on a diet and then eats leftovers with ketchup and mayo.

These fad diets are proven not to work in the long term anyway, they’re just fads.

Absolutely unacceptable, I do keto as pre diabetic.
It is a difficult way of eating and working around the family I appreciate.
I am difficult anyway as I don't like chips!!!

This

Never talk about diets in front of kids

This is rubbish, IMO.
The keto diet works. I shed stones on it. When they start to creep back n, I go back into keto.
The OP is not a hypocrite. A taste of ketchup wouldn't throw her out of keto, and mayonnaise is fine on keto.
The OP's DH wasn't calling her a hypocrite because of her condiments anyway.
Putting the OP's son's body image on her diet is cruel and unnecessary. A lot of carbs are unhealthy. If anything, the OP could be teaching this.
The leftovers she eats are ones that fit around her diet.
@MayThe4th your post is cruel, unhelpful, judgy and suggests you have not fuly absorbed the information in the OP.
OP, your DP was mean to do this in front of people. I don't think it was about your diet - it smacks of being about something else, and the diet was the mask, IYSWIM?

Perhaps OP is adopting unhealthy eating habits hence his frustration?

OP - he shouldnt have said this front of your son and in particular not in front of his friend. The chips could be saved and mashed up into a bubble and squeak or something if he was worried about them going to waste

But there is an implication from your OP that there is quite a high anxiety from you about your food intake and in particularly if you are being very restrictive and your son has had body image issues that is not a good combination.

This. You don't talk about your diet in front of your children do you?

Given you have a child recovering from an ED, it does seem odd that your diet consists of “leftovers and ketchup/mayo”

No where has OP said her son had an eating disorder!!!!

Why do people make things up on these threads

I'm not entirely convinced that this isn't a thread designed to recreate the cooked breakfast/banana debacle.

Treating this as real for a moment. Obviously you shouldn't have to eat the chips, but why on God's green earth are you eating leftovers with ketchup? It sounds like disordered eating with the tiny bit of information supplied. Why not the steak, a standard of keto diets everywhere?

I'm doing low carb due to pre diabetes. My diet has never been so good. Your's sounds the opposite of that.

This isn't about ketchup, mayo or the diet OP is choosing to follow. It's about OPs DH speaking to her like that, especially in front of her son. It was out of order OP.

Heinz no added sugar ketchup is fine carbs wise for a none clean keto diet.

He was being a bit of a wanker really wasn’t he? Even if it was about your sons disordered eating/body image (which I don’t think it was), the way he addressed it was likely to have more of a negative impact than a positive. I don’t think it was about not wasting food either, he was just being a knob. He was the one wasting food, not you. Has he done this sort of thing before?

Is there a reason he was cooking for them, but not you? It sounds like that regularly happens if you are eating his left overs. Why don’t you eat as a family?

We (DH and I) also decided to try a Keto diet and we are about a month in. We don’t eat leftovers with ketchup and mayonnaise! Why are you eating such a crap diet? When we decided to try Keto, we bought a Keto recipe book. Last night I did grilled salmon, asparagus and tomatoes, today DH will be making a Keto butter chicken, tomorrow I am going to make Keto southern fried chicken and on Friday I am going to attempt a Keto pizza as a treat (I hope). Your diet is quite concerning and he might be worried, but he also should not be trying to guilt you into eating chips!

God other people live weird lives.

YANBU. It's just as "wasteful" to eat food in excess of you calorific requirements as it is to put it in the bin. This is a lesson we're trying hard to instill in our children (and even harder to convince ourselves of 😄).

If there are leftovers that can be kept for another time, great - though cold chips aren't the easiest thing to build a meal round!

Ultimately, the blame for the waste of food here surely lies with the person who cooked too many chips!

I took the OP saying "leftovers" as she basically eats whatever the meal is but without the carb option, which is fairly standard. So meat/protein and veg without the carb option.

Also a small amount of ketchup isn't going ro derail Keto in the way a potion of chips would.

Op YANBU. Some people find other people on diets annoying for a variety of reasons. They don't like others improving themselves and it can hold up a mirror to themselves. I did keto a couple of years ago, lost a few stone and now feel great. My DH was supportive because he knew i was unhappy with the weight i had gained. Keep up the good work. Similarly, even if you weren't doing Keto, chips are rarely a part of any healthy, balanced diet.

Chips can be refined the next day ?

Sounds like your DH think your eating habits are affecting your DS, hence the spite.

Also regularly eating leftovers with ketchup and mayo is not healthy. Why did you not eat a steak? Surely that is keto.

'My other half is developing an eating disorder where he refuses only to eat leftover scraps mixed with ketchup and mayonnaise. I had some leftover chips yesterday and I asked him if he wanted them but he told me (in front of my DD, who already has body image problems) that I was ruining his 'diet'.

Should I get him to go and see the GP? I'm really worried about him'.

If there are leftovers that can be kept for another time, great - though cold chips aren't the easiest thing to build a meal round

I disagree. See my previous post about the chip omelette. Which is not as weird as it may first appear, given that the starting point for a Spanish tortilla is to fry sliced potatoes in lots of oil......

Your eating sounds disordered. Although because of the restriction Keto can help some people lose weight, it’s not supposed to be a long term diet. Carbs are not inherently bad for you. There is no magic to it, you’re just eating less calories, which you could do via a more balanced and healthy route.
While your husband was wrong to air this in the way he did in front of people. He’s probably just worried about your disordered eating habits rubbing off on your DS.

The person who created the food waste was your husband for cooking too many chips, not you for refusing to eat them.

YANBU.

You had a young visitor for dinner and both acted like dicks in front of your child. Get a grip.
That’s going to be more mortifying for him than pussyfooting around food issues.
An environmentally sound solution to overcatering is composting or give it to the bloody birds.

YABVVU for setting your son who already has a problem with body image an example of obsessive and unhealthy dieting.

Your husband is also BU for speaking to you like that, especially in front of the children.

But can you honestly say that you have never said anything snippy in frustration?