DS breaking up with GF after trip

[Flutterflys]

My eldest DS is 19, he’s at uni but still lives at home.
In October he started dating a girl who was the friend of one of his friends flatmates at uni (a party was hosted). She was about to turn 18 but in sixth form 2 hours drive/ hour on the train away. They’ve made it work long distance, either she comes here on the weekend or he goes there, lately he’s been going to hers more as he didn’t have an uni classes on a Friday so they got more time together.
They have a massive trip planned together, Netherlands, France, Spain, Switzerland and Italy, 14 cities, 6 weeks. They leave at the start of July, back mid august.
Their hotels are non refundable mostly as are flights/trains. She has paid more especially towards hotels than DS, her family is just far better off than we are she has savings funding much of the trip.
His GF plans to go to uni in London after summer. This would be 4.5 hour drive or 2.5 hours on the train from where we are. So I asked DS if he plans to keep going down on the weekends when she’s there. This is when he told me he actually plans to breakup with her after the trip. I asked why and he told me he still loves her but the travel would be too much every week and he doesn’t want a relationship where he hardly sees the other person. He said longer term he never wants to move to London and her planned career would almost require her to be in London so it wouldn’t work.
Now I think it’s awful that he’s going to go on a six week, romantic trip with her then break up with her once she has her A-Level results.
He thinks the alternative is worse as most of the trip is non-refundable so one of them would lose out on the trip and money and the other would probably have to go alone. He said he still loves her and enjoys being with her so a last trip to have some memories will be nice. He was upset talking about it but is adamant he will break up with her as he doesn’t see it being viable.

AIBU thinking this is awful? I’m so disappointed in him it feels like he is using her for a trip now?

Wonder how she's feeling having received that? And I know everything is text these days but this should be a face-to-face conversation

And when's her last exam?

Poor timing

How convenient

I don’t think they are. Figure out the future sounds to me like she’s thinking they’ll figure out how often the visits are going to look.

He needs to clearer and more direct about this.

He sounds very sensible. Let them enjoy their amazing trip. Yabu op.

He's using her.

Very unfair.

Let her get her exams over with then introduce the idea that he doesn’t think long distance next year will be practical.

Sounds like she's got her feet on the ground and I agree with you about her wanting the more expensive hotels but I still think he should offer to even it up if they break up.

You are interfering and will make it a million times worse.

That's perfectly possible. I think a lot of posters are projecting rejection, and seem to be assuming he's some kind of teenage Lothario, and she's some heartbroken Ophelia, who is likely to be sobbing her way through her freshers' week. They're teenagers who've only been seeing one another for a few months. She's still at school, clearly academically able, and understandably likely to be focused on her own independent future.

So selfish of him, I'd be so ashamed if he was my son. Can you find a way to let her know, slip up in conversation or something?

You're missing the point.

If he waits until they get back and dumps her, she's going to feel horrible - used and like the whole holiday was tainted.

Whereas if he does it now, yes, it will still be shitty but at least her entire summer before university isn't going to be some massive lie because her boyfriend is too much of a coward to do the right thing.

Having seen the update about this tosser sending her that message before she has finished her exams I hope she dumps him from a very great height. Before he has a chance to get a foot on that summer gravy train.

This...
Free sex at hand for a few weeks, nice time paid by her mostly, and then au revoir.
I'd be very hurt and pissed off if I was the gf...

I think it probably would end by Christmas in any case, regardless of any conversations that have taken place.

Though I get the OPs concern, especially if another girlfriend could be someone who is toxic or just not very nice to the OP.

POOR GIRL IS IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMS! This is the worst possible time to bring up the future of their relationship. You have actually encouraged your DS to be an utter dick right now bu sending that text. And for him to pull out last minute would be awful, no way could she find someone else to come with her this late in the day.

For the record, I was also very loved up before my Baccalaureate and also knew my boyfriend and I would break up as I was going to the UK to study. She likely knows and it's the best thing for them to have a fun trip together then a clean break.

This. He needs to ask her where she thinks the relationship is headed once she goes to Uni - she may well have doubts of her own. If the holiday is a final fling, at least no one is being kept in the dark about it and they can enjoy it with no expectations about a future.

If he’s not open with her he will have lovely memories of a six week trip with a lovely girlfriend.

She will have the memory of being dumped after a lovely trip she paid the majority of the cost of with a guy she thought loved her but maybe was just using her for a better travel experience with sex on tap.

He needs to wait until her exams are over and be explicit that he doesn’t see the relationship continuing past September.

He sounds like a rather sneaky and devious individual....poor girl

What a horrible little turd.

He has sent her a text about the relationship in the middle of her exams as a result of your interference OP?

Really?

Are you serious?

So unbelievably selfish, thoughtless, and so deeply unkind.

I cannot believe as a parent you could encourage him to do such a truly moronic thing.

That poor girl.

If I was her parent I wouldn't want him near my home again.

@Flutterflys if the info you posted is accurate, it's very identifiable and the risk of the paper picking up on it is high.

Last thing either son or his gf need is a newspaper article.

@Flutterflys - your son sounds like a really awful guy. You must be so disappointed.

Let's hope someone treats him poorly in the future....

He clearly doesn't love her or he would not treat her this way.

Plenty of couples stay together after dating in school and going to different uni's for years. Couples who genuinely do love each other

Could be wishful thinking on your part. Wanting to figure out the future could mean planning how the weekend visits will work

Especially before she has taken her last exam. What a shit show.

What a little scumbag. He doesn't give a shit about what is good or right for her. He only cares about himself and what suits him. It suits him to wait because this way he gets a big holiday and sex then he gets to drop her and go find someone more convenient for sex. "Love" my arse. He is just another self-suiting user. I would be so ashamed if any of my children had that attitude towards others.