To think my niece should have apologised for accidentally hurting my baby

[Toasterfries]

At a family gathering today my 8 year old niece was holding DD (7 months) sat on the ground. Her Mum was sat next to her and her Dad just behind them on a chair. My niece had been doing a good job holding DD but suddenly her concentration slipped and she turned one direction whilst DD went the other and she dropped her so DD landed face first on the ground.
I appreciate completely that this was an accident and my niece did not mean to, her Mum was just looking the other way for that split second and I was just out of reach too so in the moment there was nothing we could do and it just happened. DD cried and needed a lot of comforting from me and a breastfeed but within 5-10 minutes was happy as anything again so she wasn't injured. Accidents happen, I get that.

My annoyance though is that immediately as it happened, my niece just said 'that was an accident' to her parents who said 'we know, it's okay' and she got up and left without so much as looking at my DD and they didn't say anything further to her or me or even DD.
AIBU to think that in this instance, my niece should be being taught to apologise and think about how that can be avoided again in future? She didn't need telling off but some discussion surely about why it's so important to be so careful when she's holding a baby and to come and check on DD to make sure she's okay.

I won't be letting her hold DD again I don't think because I just don't see how she's going to learn from this situation.

Totally agree with you. She’s 8, it was an accident, move on.

Theres another thread going where a mum actually did drop her baby and PP (rightly so) are reassuring her these things happen and it was an accident, yet on this thread people seem to want to make an 8 year old child sound like a villain for a accident, it’s disgusting.

Just to repoint out that the baby in this thread wasn’t even ‘dropped’, they toppled forwards from the height of sitting on a child’s lap on the floor! Some people need to get a grip.

Nobody's making her "a villain" ffs, they just think she should apologise for accidentally hurting somebody. It's that kind of defensive reaction to what is to most people just simple human manners, characterising it as people thinking they're a villain, that she should be taught NOT to do. It costs nothing to apologise for an accident. She's no more a villain than the mother in that other thread, but the difference is that mother has nobody to apologise to. If she did, then she should.

Your so over invested in this thread, you have posted more times than the OP, just get over the fact people have a different opinion to you and stop quoting anyone who expresses it because it’s getting weird now.

@PixieLaLa I'm no more invested that anybody else, I haven't thought about it since it went quiet, you know people get a notification when people comment again?

Maybe you need to get over people not agreeing with you and stop with the "disgusting", "villain" hyperbole.

I’m fully aware you get a notification which is why I have seen your username pop up again, again and again. I’m fact 26 times you have quoted people on this thread who dare to disagree with the OP to tell them they are wrong because of xyz that borderlines on obsessive. People are having an open discussion on a public forum, get a grip.

*in fact

So an 8 year old isn't ready to be taught that hurting someone accidentally requires an apology?

Thinking about it, my toddler collided with a 7/8 year old (my Niece's friend) last week and immediately the girl apologised. We told her it's OK, it was an accident. But just goes to show, she was brought up right and they can indeed know to apologise at hurting someone accidentally at that age, despite what so many posters are saying!

I think people are missing the point. It's not that she is being held responsible. It's good for her as it teaches her how to behave. She should be apologising for hurting someone, whether lt not it was accidental.

I have no idea why you two are fighting but the fact you took the time to count up someones reply's to claim they are 'over invested' actually says a lot about how over invested you are.

I didn’t count 😂It takes a very simple search on the post to see how many times a user has commented

But yes….anything that distracts from the actual point here which is people being OTT and ridiculous over the expectations of an 8 year old child! Yes in an ideal world she would have apologised but in reality she is a child who was in shock and caught off guard/very likely scared and embarrassed, she is not an adult with adult reactions.

Do you actually have any self awareness?
YOU are incredibly rude.
You are not responding to an open discussion, you are quoting multiple people not just me, who dares to have a different opinion to the OP. I am not ‘alluding’ to posters 🤣I am giving my opinion, which fair enough you don’t agree with but my get a grip comment is literally this, move on, stop obsessing, also stop swearing at me because thats just uncalled for.

@PixieLaLa I'm being rude back to you, in response to your rudeness. I'm not obsessing, it's a debate, that's the point of it.

Can you leave @aSofaNearYou alone please? You keep needling her and goading her.

Funny how you haven’t counted / searched the posts of people who have been harassing OP.

If anyone has been harassing people it’s @aSofaNearYou quoting all the PP who have a different opinion to OP, and swearing at me being a vile person. I still stand by feeling for the 8 year old child who is expected to have an adult reaction to a scary unexpected situation, that is the point here -/ much as people want to keep changing the subject.

She hasn’t harassed anyone. You goaded her.

I never once spoke to her, I was speaking on the subject of the post. She decided to quote me directly, along with many others. That is harassment IMO. I didn’t ‘goad’ someone I want even speaking to. Seriously you both sound bat shit.

Quoting is harassment? Give me a break.

Maybe ask MN to remove the quoting feature because it upsets you.