I spent the petrol money on food

[WellNoprawnsleftthen]

So now I’m the wicked stepmother

SD’s are 13 and 15. Here EOW. This weekend the plan was dh taking them out yesterday then eating out. Today DH was taking them early for an activity they wanted to do and this afternoon a family bbq.

Yesterday morning I did the food shop for the bbq.

Got up this morning to find they had eaten about 75% of the food , were talking a massive box of strawberries, big pack of mango and pineapple , pack of meringues and ice cream. Crisps, Prawns, sausage rolls, half of a pasta salad, cheeses, deli meats and cooked the bread and had that. After having a meal out ?

Apparently they were hungry. We’re on a tight budget so I have used the money set aside today for petrol mostly (plus some for drinks snacks etc) and replaced it all. I’ve now gone out in the car for a coffee and to get away and will go back soon just before my family get there.

Im now the evil stepmother. I told DH get an Uber and use your own money if you still want to go out as I’m furious he didn’t back me up at all just said ‘well they are teenagers ! But I had SAID to everyone what fod was for today and there were other snacks available (full fruit bowl, yogurts, cereal bars etc)

Same here and I can just imagine my mother's response to being told that it's okay because I'm a teenager and teenagers eat a lot.

What Brag ? The op clearly has no money issues , kids went to Nando’s , hubby has money for taxis , she has money for Costa . It’s not like they are living in the breadline ffs .

This all sounds dramatic when your DH could have just given you £30 to put extra fuel in the car/replace the food.
I understand that you are pissed off though. I would be too.

I would have done exactly the same if my own children had eaten food gotten for family bbq.

I’d have done the same! You have a DH problem

Bloody well done for delivering consequences. I have had umpteen bbq's and my teen has managed not to eat the food for it. Alas, they are stepchildren so shouldn't have to show any self control you evil woman you. Again, well done, hopefully they have learned a lesson.
This myth on MN about teenagers having 'hollow legs' and needing to eat constantly cracks me up. No they don't and regardless there were plenty things available for them to eat. They chose to eat the stuff for the bbq and as a result the OP needed the.petrol money to re stock.

I'd of done the same. There's hungry and there's being greedy. They are the latter.

I don't understand the attitude of 'they are teenagers and need to eat lots'. Every other day there is a thread about the obesity epidemic and people asking for help with diets and losing weight. Children and teenagers need to learn good, healthy eating habits and eating 'all the best bits' out of a BBQ spread after a meal out at Nandos is not that. Aside from OP having to reshop for it all, why is the level of consumption being shrugged off? OP you did the right thing taking the car, it's too hot for lugging food around on a Sunday anyway.

It's always really funny reading replies saying Yabu in situations like these. They are not 5 and 3 years old and stealing food out the fridge...
Of course they're old enough to leave food alone when they've been told that's for the family BBQ tomorrow. Just rude to eat something you've been told is for an occasion.
Yanbu at all, op. Hope you enjoy the BBQ nonetheless. Your DH needs to step up...

If you're having a BBQ then just use the meat that you had bought and they didn't eat, presumably burgers, sausages etc and then just use the snacks that you said they could eat instead. You can make a fruit salad from fruit in the fruit bowl , you have crisps, popcorn etc.

Yes it's annoying but you could have explained that as they had eaten some of the BBQ food what could they do to help put it right so that your guests had enough food to eat.

They were deliberately pushing it. If they’d eaten the strawberries or the sausage rolls or the crisps it wouldn’t be such a big deal. They ate everything but the raw meat! They cooked bread FFS! It’s a totally standard thing you’d expect teens to do - I can still remember my friend being bollocked by her mum because we’d eaten our way through a big block of cheese and a loaf of bread in two days and her Dad had nothing in to make sandwiches for work the next day. It’s when you expect a parent to step in and do some parenting!

They are greedy and your H is a weak and ineffectual parent. Do teenage girls need that much food? I don’t recall stuffing myself like this at 13 or 15. I have teenage boys who do need ridiculous amounts of food but they would have eggs or cereal and not food bought for a bbq.

This is 100% not the point! Why should OP go without because teenagers are selfish?

Do you took the car out so that he wouldn't be able to take them out to their activity?. That's quite controlling. Sure don't buy the fuel but let their dad decide if he takes them or not

You have a DH problem as others have said

There were other ways to get the food replaced that didn't involve taking the car . Same day Deliveroo which the DP should pay for from sole account is the way I would have gone, or give him a list and he could get it on the way home from activity.

I know right!!? Some of the replies…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

‘Oh well what did you expect?! They are TEENAGERS they are allowed to eat all the food in the house , even though they have been told it’s for a BBQ tomorrow’

Jeasus…. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That’s not eating “a lot” that’s guzzling their way through an amount of food obviously meant for at least six… unless they are Olympic swimmers or something I don’t know how they managed it even if they are teenagers - which as others have said, means they should not behave like toddlers

Do you just wanted to punish them by preventing them from going for their activity. You are really mean!. Its not really about not having money to replace the food. Your husband has money for fuel.

Coffee out delay doesnt seem like any money shortage?

This is a DH problem Op, he knows you needed the food but won't tell his DC off for eating it, he wanted to pretend nothing happened and leave you with all the extra work. Everyone needs to see the consequences of their actions in life or they grow up selfish and entitled.

She doesn't like those kids. They are only there every other weekend and she's acting like this...not nice and very spiteful. Teenagers do stupid shit, you tell them off and move on. No tolerance!

No, she took the car so she didn't have to walk to the shops then walk back with all the food she had to buy to replace what the greedy kids ate. Why should she walk?

Well OP couldn’t do as she planned because she had to redo the shopping.

Actions have consequences, and in this instance that meant that the planned transportation was unavailable. DH wasn’t inclined to problem solve and so the trip didn’t happen.

It’s all very benign and a sensible way to teach a lesson. OP hasn’t suggested abusing/starving/throwing out DC as a consequence, the DC just started a chain of events that they then have to live with.

To the PP that said teenagers don’t listen… they become adults who don’t listen unless they LEARN otherwise. I suspect OPs DSC might listen next time they are told…

His kids need to learn some manners and he needs to teach them some. The idea that teens eat a lot- yes some do --but if they've been out for a meal then he needs to tell them that food is for tommorrow. My son wouldn't have dreamt of just grabbing all the food without asking me first if it was ok to have xyz