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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I spent the petrol money on food

374 replies

WellNoprawnsleftthen · 11/06/2023 11:41

So now I’m the wicked stepmother

SD’s are 13 and 15. Here EOW. This weekend the plan was dh taking them out yesterday then eating out. Today DH was taking them early for an activity they wanted to do and this afternoon a family bbq.

Yesterday morning I did the food shop for the bbq.

Got up this morning to find they had eaten about 75% of the food , were talking a massive box of strawberries, big pack of mango and pineapple , pack of meringues and ice cream. Crisps, Prawns, sausage rolls, half of a pasta salad, cheeses, deli meats and cooked the bread and had that. After having a meal out ?

Apparently they were hungry. We’re on a tight budget so I have used the money set aside today for petrol mostly (plus some for drinks snacks etc) and replaced it all. I’ve now gone out in the car for a coffee and to get away and will go back soon just before my family get there.

Im now the evil stepmother. I told DH get an Uber and use your own money if you still want to go out as I’m furious he didn’t back me up at all just said ‘well they are teenagers ! But I had SAID to everyone what fod was for today and there were other snacks available (full fruit bowl, yogurts, cereal bars etc)

OP posts:
JumbleAndKitchen · 11/06/2023 23:28

Thats great @Nanaof1 . We’ve all been there, posted on a long thread having missed a key update. Usually it’s not a problem but in this case, it’s obviously very different.

The girls didn’t sign up to be part of this thread.

whynotwhatknot · 11/06/2023 23:28

he sound spathetic how are you undermining him he let his dd take the blame!

Nanaof1 · 11/06/2023 23:32

JumbleAndKitchen · 11/06/2023 23:28

Thats great @Nanaof1 . We’ve all been there, posted on a long thread having missed a key update. Usually it’s not a problem but in this case, it’s obviously very different.

The girls didn’t sign up to be part of this thread.

That is very true. I should have waited until it was all read. I guess I'll chalk it up to "premature exclamation". 😉😬🤐

JumbleAndKitchen · 11/06/2023 23:34
Grin

Like I said, we’ve all been there. Threads move so quick.

Weenurse · 12/06/2023 02:21

How is the bbq going?
Did he do the clean up?

MNChickenForAWeek · 12/06/2023 05:18

I can't believe not only did he do a lot of the eating, but he let them take the blame and then missed their day out. He sounds like an absolute shit.

Screwballs · 12/06/2023 09:02

I can see why OP has done a runner, it's just turned into SM vs BM.

Sissynova · 12/06/2023 09:13

Taking the car and hiding in Costa when you knew your DH had plans and the agreement was for him to have the car is incredibly petty.

Lacucuracha · 12/06/2023 09:18

Sissynova · 12/06/2023 09:13

Taking the car and hiding in Costa when you knew your DH had plans and the agreement was for him to have the car is incredibly petty.

She went to Costa to have a breather after her DH's selfish behaviour.

The agreement was that the BBQ food would be left for the BBQ. He broke it and then expected OP to replace the food, and is now sulking, so he is the incredibly petty one.

Screwballs · 12/06/2023 11:53

Sissynova · 12/06/2023 09:13

Taking the car and hiding in Costa when you knew your DH had plans and the agreement was for him to have the car is incredibly petty.

Taking the food when you know its for a family event is incredibly rude. If that's the only way he'll learn his lesson then so be it. I think he got off bloody lightly. I'd personally have cancelled the BBQ and then f*cked off for the day in the car.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 12/06/2023 12:32

MzHz · 11/06/2023 22:24

It’s utterly astonishing the lengths people go to on here to allow step dc away with every and all kind of appalling behaviour

the kids were greedy, they knew exactly what they were doing and there were consequencegood for @WellNoprawnsleftthen

Show quote history

Especially girls, people on here seem to think girls should be let away with murder. If the kids had been boys the responses would have been much harsher. Notwithstanding the fact that the dad is a complete arse.

aSofaNearYou · 12/06/2023 12:43

Especially girls, people on here seem to think girls should be let away with murder. If the kids had been boys the responses would have been much harsher. Notwithstanding the fact that the dad is a complete arse.

I don't find that at all - mostly when people are talking about teenagers being bottomless and eating everything on here, and how totally normal that is, it's boys.

Codlingmoths · 12/06/2023 12:55

aSofaNearYou · 12/06/2023 12:43

Especially girls, people on here seem to think girls should be let away with murder. If the kids had been boys the responses would have been much harsher. Notwithstanding the fact that the dad is a complete arse.

I don't find that at all - mostly when people are talking about teenagers being bottomless and eating everything on here, and how totally normal that is, it's boys.

I 100% say that about boys, having grown up with sisters and brothers, all sporty, and just no comparison between what the girls are vS how the boys emptied the fridge in seconds and then ate a horse for afters.

ItsHardknocklife · 12/06/2023 16:58

as a mum of 4 and 2 being teenagers 17&15 I tell you now I would go mad if they did that! Mine wouldn't even dare end off! All those saying yabu must be mad as well! No wonder so many disrespectful kids around now a days cos parents won't tell them straight 🙄. Plus they are only saying it cos your step mum! If my kids had a step mum I would expect her to tell them.

magratvonlipwig · 12/06/2023 19:06

A youd got guests coming
B youd said the bbq food was for tomorrow
C there was other snacking food to be had.

They were in the wrong and he should explain to them why its not ok

VeganStar · 12/06/2023 19:17

FishOnABicycleMadeForTwo · 11/06/2023 12:43

I went for a coffee so I was out at the time they needed to leave

Which is just spiteful tbh.
Replacing the food is annoying,getting petrol is fine but actually staying out just so they couldn’t then use the car is awful.

It’s called consequences!

Brefugee · 12/06/2023 19:29

YABU I would have cancelled the BBQ and told everyone that it was because the teens ate the food.

if i read correctly it was OPs mum and dad coming?

OP i agree with what you did. They could have eaten any other snacks but they ate the good stuff that you had told them was earmarked for something else. And since your DH didn't back you up, you solved the problem.

Plus they even get to eat the nice things again since they will be at the BBQ. Actions have consequences. When everyone is calm, tell them what happened and why. And that it will not be happening again.

Brefugee · 12/06/2023 19:53

I expect the thread police will be along soon to administer a beating.

Hope the BBQ went well, OP, and that you and the DSDs are back on terms. Your DH doesn't deserve you.

Tigermearns · 13/06/2023 02:10

Hope you and the girls had a great bbq whilst he sulked for getting caught out. Can't believe he tried to pin it all on them and then refused to get an uber to take them out because he expected you to just carry all the replacement food home... he's got some grovelling to do to you and those girls

CM1897 · 13/06/2023 02:45

WellNoprawnsleftthen · 11/06/2023 16:01

It transpires that DH joined in with eating the food ….. younger sd burst into tears about it all and said to him ‘YOU had the bread and cheese and ham and now we are getting the blame ‘ he is saying he forgot as bread and cheese isn’t typical bbq food and he had had a long day and was exhausted so didn’t remember etc etc etc ……

So you went on about it so much that you brought them to tears? Do you do that often?

lauraisa · 13/06/2023 03:19

Teenagers eat a lot. You are being weird and petty. Do you inventory your food every time they come over and document everything they eat?

Sunshine275 · 13/06/2023 05:24

At 13 and 15 they should know better. My niece is 14 and would never behave in that manner. So they do things intentionally to piss you off sometimes?

DanceMonster · 13/06/2023 07:03

lauraisa · 13/06/2023 03:19

Teenagers eat a lot. You are being weird and petty. Do you inventory your food every time they come over and document everything they eat?

And there was plenty of other food they could have eaten. Just not the stuff that they knew had been earmarked for a family BBQ.
Some of you must have very rude kids if you think this is normal behaviour.

19lucky87 · 13/06/2023 07:42

That is absolutely insane behaviour! I'd be so mad! Maybe a few strawberries but honestly all that food?? Yes, teenagers are hungry but come on that's ridiculous. I don't think I'd ever have the brass neck to do anything remotely like that? What's the snack rules in your house normally?

19lucky87 · 13/06/2023 07:49

Well it makes sense now, all that food beinf eaten! How on earth did he think that would of been a good idea?
And I think I'd of done exactly the same with the car too 😜
I hope your BBQ went ok in the end.

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