To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

I agree that some people have in their head a "proper" spelling that they insist on using regardless.

A close friend has recently had an Alistair. In my brain it should be Alasdair as that's how my uncle spells it, but I would never let myself misspell it in messages or cards to my friend! It does take a tiny effort to make sure you get it right but it's really not hard. I think some people just cba 🙄

I've got exactly the same issue with my youngest and five years on it hasn't gotten any better. I don't actively correct people unless it's the school (who still occasionally get it wrong three years after he started nursery there!). If it's in a text message I'll try to use the correct spelling in the reply, but my best friend still gets it consistently wrong so I don't have much hope. It's a bit annoying, but it's really not the end of the world.

...in the UK...
I know an American female Leslie

Just tell them nicely they spelt the name wrong. They will then remember hopefully. I have an Izzy and an amazing number of people spell it Issy!

@saraclara Names have historically been translated though. Arabic versions of the Bible for example call Moses 'Musa', etc.
Because my name is originally not in English I am not attached to the spelling as it's just a 'translation' anyway, etc.

I do think it's racist that people don't take care with foreign names - only a certain foreign - if they can pronounce Tchaikovsky they can pronounce Rabiatullah.

But for the reasons stated in the first paragraph spellings and pronunciations have never bothered me. I even pronounce my own name differently depending on what language I happen to be speaking. Many from my country do which is why we aren't really bothered as well.

At work I'm careful with names and always check (am a massive stickler for spelling anyway) but sometimes on a massive email chain with three Ian's and one Iain I might mix them up by mistake....

I have a name with several possible spellings and my variant is probably the least common (but not made up or weird). People spell it wrong CONSTANTLY. It drives me mad. I agree that it's rude and lazy. I'm always very careful with other people's name spellings as a result.

I'd get used to it. She will have a lifetime of it.

Yep, this.

I don't understand how people aren't embarrassed to get it wrong tbh...

When writing birthday invites/cards for my DC's friends, if it's an uncommon spelling/one of multiple spellings, I'm always paranoid I'm going to get it wrong and triple-check!

Congratulations! YANBU. It’s rude but a lot of people don’t give a shit about this kind of thing. Mine gets misspelt by colleagues (and my MIL actually 🙄) despite it being in my email sign off and my actual email address. Tbh, I get a tiny bit annoyed with my mother for not giving me a boring name with a boring spelling. 😁

Side note: We had a lot of guests with names with accents in our wedding. I went to the effort of finding out the directions of them and a few people commented how considerate it was when they saw their menu, seating plan and got their invitation etc. - after a lifetime of people not bothering to get it right.

YABU because it's not your name so not your place to get worked up about it.

I'd far rather the name was spelt wrong, than people not bother at all, wouldn't you?

YABU

I have a very common name but everyone always spells it wrong.

I’d be offended if they kept getting the actual name wrong, not the spelling.

My sister was a nightmare with her baby. Her DD’s name had various ways of spelling it but she’d fall out with anyone who got it wrong, even her MIL who wasn’t allowed to see the baby for almost a year and had to beg to be allowed back in their lives. All because of one wrong letter.

First thing I thought. Had a similar thing happen with my dd. Some knew immediately where the name had come from and some were not in the know so they chose a different spelling.

I think you are u. Enjoy your baby!

The point is that they should be checking...! Are they not embarrassed to get it wrong?!

I don't think they're intending to upset you OP. People have misspelt my DC's names and it never occurred to me to get upset about it. People misspell my name all the time , which can be spelt several ways and I honestly don't care.

I’d let it go. It’ll continue to happen and why annoy yourself? Do you want to teach your child to get annoyed at things like this?

My son also has a name with various spellings and it’s a name with not a clear choice. We just really loved the name and so accept that sometimes you get the incorrect spelling. People don’t do it on purpose and if they’ve taken the time to get a gift etc then I’d just thank them.

My poor MIL - she is Lindsey. She has been called Linsey, Lindsay, Lyndsay, Linzie, Lindsy, Linsay, Lindsee, Lynnsee
and probably a fair few more. She doesn't make a big fuss though. She has a notebook and if a new one pops up she jots it down with a giggle.
We picked easy to spell names for our kids that you can't really abbreviate.

Yes, ideally they should. But equally people are busy and if it’s a common spelling it may not have occurred them to. Once you’ve written the name it can also be a not-inexpensive mistake to rectify. Cards cost a ridiculous amount these days. There are bigger crimes in this world, but I’m sure friends and family will learn the name once they meet baby and are used to it.

I do think it's racist that people don't take care with foreign names - only a certain foreign - if they can pronounce Tchaikovsky they can pronounce Rabiatullah

This is bollocks. Tchaikovsky is actually in autocorrect suggestions and is in general English use. I have no idea how to pronounce the other name. It’s not racist to not know other languages ffs and it’s weird of to suggest that.

People struggle with Naomi (Nay oh me v Nie Oh me) and that’s in the top 100 English names. It’s not racism to mispronounce names. It’s not even ignorance. It’s just language. Scone, anyone?

My db wanged on endlessly about how rude people were not spelling his daughter's name correctly on cards etc when she was small. A few years later I had my ds and my db has never once spelled my ds's name correctly... Just let it slide, life's too short

I bet it's Maia/Maya/Mayah. I work with families and have a couple of friends with little ones with this name, it is a very popular name at the moment and I am constantly seeing people spell it wrong.

I always think it is rude when people misspell names in cards or when they have the correct spelling right in front of them, such as a Facebook post or a direct message. I see people doing this a lot. I have a friend who often tags photos of her niece on Facebook, and still spells the child's name wrong. Her brother will reply things like 'Thanks for having Freya today' and she will say 'we always love spending time with Frayer'. I am very forgiving of dyslexic friends that do this, but there is no excuse for misspelling close families names wrong imo.

It’s probably a taste of what dc will face for life. I’d just politely correct and explain why you’ve chosen less popular spelling. Hopefully it will sink in.
I suspect it’s worse as everyone thinks they can spell it and don’t check whereas if it was a unique style name they would check.

I have one of those names and I don't have much time for people who get it wrong. How hard is it to pay attention? I know people who spell their names in strange/non-standard ways and I always make the effort to get it right.

I think it was deliberate. Even after I corrected her she continued to do it.

My daughters own grandparents STILL don’t spell her name right and she’s 8!! I’ve given up!