To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

But they're probably not checking the text as they write the cards, yes?
They have a name in their minds, and write it in the card to send.
It might actually be easier to get an unusual name spelt correctly as people would double check but it slips their mind in this case.

I have a similar name (although I have the most popular spelling) and it's mad not only how often is spelt wrongly butt also how many people assume I automatically shorten it to a nick name

Not rude, just a very easy mistake to make when there are various correct versions and you have lots of other stuff going on. I actually think it's rather rude to get annoyed about it, rather than just being grateful they've bothered.

I always said I'd name my child something that was 'normal' and obviously spelt because having been the child with different spellings of your name it gets SO annoying saying 'It's Sarah with an H.' I wouldn't do that to my child, but as you already have

This is normal. I don't even think it's that they don't care or aren't paying attention. Writing names seems to be almost done unconsciously much of the time.

My name with the less common spelling is routinely misspelled in reply to emails where I've signed off with my name. Sometimes by my closest colleagues if they're in a rush.

Correct if it's important, let it go if it's just a one off by someone who you won't see very much.

I have one of those names that has a couple of common and legitimate spellings. My email is my first name @ company.com. I can spell it out to someone on the phone and they manage to type it into the ‘to’ box, only they then start the email underneath with Hi ‘alternative spelling of my name’. Some people are just either oblivious or on autopilot if they have a friend/family member with the other spelling possibly?!. I do however inwardly judge them on their attention to detail skills or lack thereof. Sadly it’s something that your DD will probably just have to put up with her whole life.

Hit send too soon.
As you already have I guess just keep reminding them, but also know you'll have this yours and her entire life.

My daughter's name ends 'ie' but could feasibly end 'y'. I simply don't care when people spell it wrong, especially when they're doing something nice like send a card.

Let it go, life is long.

My DD has quite an unusual name and I don’t think anyone has ever spelled it correctly. You get used to it tbh. I get mildly irritated when it’s close friends or a teacher but I can’t get that upset when people do it for the first time.

I think people automatically fill in the gaps without really paying attention. I have a child with a name that people usually shorten, eg Thomas to Tom. I introduce him as Thomas, which he prefers and people instantly say "Hi Tom". It drives me and him nuts, but that's people for you.

😬 That's a fancy card!

Yeah, people sending you cards are absolute bastards

Every girl in my family has a name that could be spelt another way so we are all used to it even though we cursed the parents for making us put up with having to correct people all the time

Also got annoyed as a kid that I could never buy anything with my name on it in a gift shop!

The very occasional time that it does matter (e.g getting a book signed by your favourite author), I always say "I'm going to spell my name before I say it" because it rather takes the shine off having a big crossed out scribble on the dedication page 😉

It’s annoying but, as someone with one of those names, you just have to get over it to be honest! Take account of intent.

My sister in law has spelt my son’s name wrong for all his 23 years. I wouldn’t mind but it only has three letters!

Thanks for the mix of responses. I’m sure hormones aren’t helping - and when you spend 9 months deciding on your perfect name it feels special I guess. But I do realise it’s only special to me not other people.

The several spellings did almost put us off, but it was the only name we could both agree on and in the end we decided we love it so much that we wanted to use it regardless. I anticipated it being spelt wrong by strangers and acquaintances but one of the people who spelt it wrong in a card was my father in law! I haven’t been correcting people because it feels rude, but I also can’t really have my child’s own grandparent spelling their name wrong going forward!

It’s not stupid or lazy! People have other things going on apart from double checking the spelling of a name. Personally I find Isabelle/Isobel/Isabel a bloody nightmare (I appreciate this isn’t your baby’s name).

I have three of the most common names in the UK and still have to spell all three out because there are variations.

??
The poster I quoted put probably autocorrect to excuse mistakes in the spelling of the baby’s name. I assume the poster thought the op meant that people were replying by text, in which case the comment would have made sense. However, the op stated that the mistakes were in written cards. It’s immaterial if the writers had a different spelling in mind and didn’t check, as you are suggesting, I was just pointing out that you can’t blame autocorrect when you make mistakes writing a card! Laziness perhaps, but not autocorrect.

Like you said you knew this was gonna be an issue so why you surprised.These are the things you need to think about when choosing a name. As annoyed as you are that people are getting it wrong its gonna be twice as annoying for your daughter for the next 85+ years to deal with

I don’t actually see why op is being so unreasonable. If I was writing a card out for a new baby I would double check the spelling before I wrote it to make sure I got it right, regardless of what I thought of the name or the spelling. Why is it a legitimate excuse to say they must have been busy, or some other bonkers reason for basically not having the care or thought to get it right 🤷🏼‍♀️I can imagine it is quite disappointing to have a collection of new baby cards all spelt wrong.

My name has 2 equally common spellings and loads of my friends get it wrong.

DS1 name has 2 spellings, his is the most common, and still people get it wrong.
DS2 has a shortened name but has never used the long version, and the short version is on his birth certificate (eg Tim and Timothy) but people still call him timothy.

You’ll get used to it, and it doesn’t really matter.

I think it's fine to say "just so you know, we decided to go for this spelling" the first time it happens - with a grandparent I'd probably keep pointing it out.

We gave one of our DC a pretty unusual name (think day of the week/month etc not commonly used). I knew we'd get a few 'eh?' and have to repeat, but I wasn't prepared for how many people completely missed that was the name and sent cards addressed to the 'normal' middle name. It drove me nuts, I tried adding 'we call them X for short' but still loads of people continued to refer to the middle name. And I had to go back to everyone to correct, I couldn't just leave it and correct them later after they'd used the wrong name for ages. I think however well-meaning people are, most are busy with their own lives and just don't give it much thought! I'm sure it'll improve for people you actually know once they've met baby in person!