To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

If our second child had been a girl, we planned to call her Katharine or Katherine. I was a bit bothered about the possibility of confusion over the spellings, though, given people also spell it Kathryn, Catherine or Cathryn. Swerved that by having a boy, whose name would be almost impossible to spell wrong. Having said that, obviously some people just can't spell. My name has only one common spelling and yet people occasionally leave out a letter or get the final vowel wrong.

It's par for the course! My name has at least 6 legitimate spellings, and that's before the shortened versions are taken into account! The certificate for an accreditation for my job had my name spelt wrongly!

I've had it all my life!

Does the name start with an I?

YANBU. People can’t read properly. One of my DC’s has a name that can be spelt two ways, with the second way being less common. We spelt their name the first, more common way - and people still get it wrong, including relatives.

I once mistakenly spelt a distant friend’s son’s name Nicolas instead of Nicholas. I realised as soon as her Xmas and arrived, felt bad - and have never spelt it wrong again. But lots of people just skim over names and then make up their own spellings 🙄

Another related thing that annoys me is people making up their own name abbreviations and persisting with them despite being subtly corrected.

It happens. People decide that they know a spelling and they use it. I have a slightly unusual name and I've had to spell it all my life or be told by people "No, it's okay, I've got it" and they never have. If I was pissed off by it every time it happened I'd spend a lot of my life pissed off.

You'll get used to it and if it happens with your daughter, she'll get used to it as well.

I work with a lady called Jane, she signed off an email the other day as normal. She then got a response addressing her as Jayne. Drives her bonkers.

My name has several different spellings and versions, I’ve got used to it after 46 years.

YABU. No one cares how you spell your child's name.

I know it's so frustrating but try not to let it ruin how you feel about your baby's name. My daughter's name has only one spelling, not an unusual or rare name but you don’t spell it the way you say it. She's 9 and people that know her still get it wrong. Like I can post something about her on Facebook for example and 20 family members will comment spelling her name correctly and there's always at least one that spells it wrong even with 20 other examples there. Just gotta roll your eyes and move on 😄

My daughter has a name that has several variations but one very common phonetic version. I have not used the incredibly common phonetic version but the legitimate spelling of the name (it derives from a longer name) as it appears in the Collins baby name book.

Family still use the common phonetic version-she’s nearly 19 so I don’t think I’ll convince them otherwise.

OP-you get used to it. You quietly fume whenever you receive a birthday card but otherwise it doesn’t feature in your day to day life.

It will happen forever. I suggest you learn to ignore it otherwise it will drive you nuts.

Lynn, Lyn, Lynne, Lin, Linn - take your pick.

Our last dog was called Molly and people would write/text asking about “Mollie”. Our current dog is Dottie, and the same people call her “Dotty”.

Gotta be deliberate.

Is this one of those cases where you've chosen to call your son (say) Jon and your SIL decided that's wrong because John is the 'real' spelling, so always calls him what she thinks he should have been called? Weird behaviour, if so.

Haha it’s not!

You do have to get used to it. My DD is Zahra (Arabic spelling to reflect dads culture) - even if I say Zahra is fine thanks they said ‘send Zara / Zhara / Zarah a hug’! Just how it is. I do check personally and get it right

It's your fault. If you pick a name you expect to be incorrectly spelt....change it or put up with correcting people

It's her fault for picking one of the most common variants of a popular name? How do you work that out?

My eldest nephew has a name like this, two places where there are variations on how it is spelt. His parents asked each grandparent to write down how they would spell it, and rather conveniently all 4 went for the same variant so that's the one they used.

Unfortunately for me, I have got it wrong a few times over the years (different country and my husband's nephew so I haven't had many occasions to write it down. Doing it in a hurry I remember that it might be a problem but don't remember the right version ...)

I think you'll get used to people making mistakes, but also, the people that matter will get it right in time. You'll also start to work out when exact spelling matters and when it doesn't. (I'm very relaxed about my own name being spelt right, as it's a less comment variant, unless it is something official where it matters and I'll check to get it accurate).

I have a Lily, I didn't think that name would ever be misspelled, when the cards rolled through the letterbox almost 9 years ago I saw: Lillie, Lilly, even Lili.

Annoying OP, but it will continue.
You can't change the world.
I have lived wih my name a very long time and used to people having problems.
When I make phone calls or people ask my name I spell it out before they have the chance to ask.
It is annoying.
I have deliberately chosen names for my own children with no ambuguity because I know ir gets very tiresome over the years having to correct.
Names like James, Adam. Jennifer,Mary. Hazel, Jason ( none off my actual kids's names, but you get the idea)

Those closest to you will eventually spell it correctly OP. Don't fret about it.

I, too, have a name that can be spelt three different but common ways. Most people spell it correctly (I think my spelling is probably slightly more common than the others) but I frequently get any of the three spellings. I also have an extremely unusual surname so it's a good day when someone spells my whole name correctly! 😂

The flip side is, I try my hardest to make sure I'm spelling other peoples' names correctly - simple respect.

Maybe people who never have 'name issues' don't understand how annoying it is to be called a name that isn't your name.

A lot of the time sending a card is just a routine thing people do, and doesn't involve any real thought. I'm not a card person myself and this is one of the reasons, but the fact is that this is pretty normal behaviour. So yeah, I think you can expect more of same with Christmas cards and the like.

My MIL still spells my dd's name wrong and she is 5 😂

despite having been together for 7 years, all of my friends and some family STILL spell my husband’s name wrong, despite being corrected many times. It really annoys me that they can’t make the effort. So I totally sympathise with you as it would be even worse if they did this with our daughter’s name