To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

I get this a lot with my sons name, it's Irish & has about 5 or 6 ways to spell it, both the anglicised version & the way we prefer, so I honestly can't get too bothered when people (even family) spell it incorrectly in fairness

We have 2 daughters- one has a Gaelic name which is not remotely phonetic, the other is Phoebe.

Phoebe is the one that always gets spelt incorrectly, including by grandparents, the wild Gaelic name people obviously take the time to check as they don’t know where to start 🤣

so my advice is go wild and they will make an effort to learn to spell it

I know that when you say 'not remotely phonetic' you mean 'not remotely phonetic in English' (because you're probably English,) but I can almost guarantee that it is indeed rigidly phonetic in its own language, whether that's the Irish language or Scottish Gaelic..

Yours is the irregular language, not ours.

Even that doesn’t work. My name is short, and has one, single “correct” spelling. People still spell it completely wrong on a regular basis (Helen spelled as Hellin, or Hellan, for example - I could understand Helena or Helene, but seriously, Hellin??).

Thanks for being good about it as I was aware I might come across as a bit of an arse pointing it out.

It was the Isabel example that did it. OP was very clear that she wanted to preserve anonymity, so I think it’s probably a boy! Someone up thread (who was reading the OP properly 😂) suggested Caspar. OP hasn’t been back for ages and is studiously ignoring anyone who thinks it’s Isabel I’ve noticed!

Yeah this irritates me too. It's really not that much effort to buy a card when you're doing a food shop anyway, just chuck it in the trolley and then 2 mins to write it. But why bother at all if you can't be arsed to check the name spelling? A friend of mine does this constantly. They tried to email me using the incorrect name and then messaged me asking why the email had bounced!! IT'S BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO SPELL MY NAME RIGHT!!

Honestly I'd rather not receive cards at all if my friends don't care about me enough to spell my name right.

I honestly can't see that it's a big deal, I really can't. I want my child to have as much love and as many presents as possible. If someone spells their name wrong on the card-who cares?

KurlueCate, it matters to a lot of people. If people love you, then surely they'll take enough care to get your name right.

I mind when people get my name wrong because it means things like e-mails bouncing or going to someone else, or not being able to pay a cheque into my account.

@eastegg , I'm surprised that Casper/Caspar/Kasper isn't more popular

Algorithm
Re your personalised item , my youngest has a name that can be spelled with 1 n, or 2, I chose a special thing to be engraved for his 21st, spelling out the name way it should, bloke in engravers said never seen it spelled that way, I explained the reasoning as his dad chose spelling, believing that it was original/ proper way of spelling it , I had picked something out that matched and each bit to be engraved, He ignored my spelling and spelled it the way He thought it should be , and then didn't have anymore of the item that matched, was fuming 🤬 I mean when someone argues with you as to how your child's name is or should be spelled what hope have you got. even though my lad has quite a common name ( well was quite popular at time but his dad chose it because of where most of his family from
my maiden name was also a nightmare simple name not long but boy have I had some fun trying to spell it out and still have trouble for Mum

@Rottweilermummy , I'm guessing Conor. I hope you didn't pay for the item.

People still spell my son's name incorrectly and he's in his 30s

@KirstenBlest
Well they loved you enough to buy a card and a present!
Banks wouldn't reject a cheque with Isobel spelled Isabel. Mind you, it must be 5 years since I handled a cheque so what do I know!
It's also a long time since I wrote out an email address.

@CurlewKate , Banks wouldn't reject a cheque with Isobel spelled Isabel.
Are you sure about that?

Well they loved you enough to buy a card and a present!
But not enough to get the name right. A lot of baby things get regifted (or they look like they do). Babies tend to get a lot of clothes and teddy bears, especially the first child. A baby doesn't need many cuddly toys and a lot of the clothes won't be used - they might be impractical or not fit.

If you have decided to call your baby Carl, then a personalised gift with Karl on it is actually pretty crap.

My son has a traditional biblical name with only one spelling - e.g. Adam. His grandmother has spelt it wrong all his life along with many others. Ridiculous!

@Alittlenonsensenowandthen , Issac or Rueben?

My child gets this all the time, he still gets confused by it and asks who a card or invite is for if his name is spelt different. Just something you have to get used to.

I find this absolutely infuriating but it seems to be a huge block for people and I just don't understand it.

I know someone called Christabel and we are on lots of whatsapp groups where everyone calls her Christabelle....I get annoyed about it (because I also have a name that people spell wrong) so I made a joke about how people keep getting her name wrong, hoping that some of them would realise and start spelling her name correctly but they didn't. I even told one of my other friends that her name is actually Christabel and she said "oh really! gosh I never knew that" but still continued to call her Christabelle on texts, and has even resorted to Christabele on occasion....I just don't get it😆

You're getting overly upset. If they're still spelling it wrong age 3 or 4 I'd be annoyed but not with a newborn. Some maybe haven't seen the name and have just heard it

@2Rebecca , it says in the OP that people got a text with the name in it.

It really is but only because people try to make out that you are being awkward for using your middle name - it’s my legitimate name! It’s a very Welsh thing to go by your middle name. My sister was born in England and has only ever gone by her first name. I actually love my name, it’s not unusual but also not common if that makes any sense. It’s just when people insist on calling me by my first name when I have never evert used it myself. I find that bizarre.

@GwinCoch , it is common in Wales. The first name was usually a family name like a grandparent's name. I can think of families where at half the children went by their middle names, or couples where both are known by the middle name.
People can be rude or ignorant about names and seem to struggle with names as complicated as Nia.

I have this with my first, middle and surname. I basically answer to anything at this point.

It’s rude/lazy but people are gonna people and it’s going to be a long road for you if you’re going to get wound up by it.

Just remembered the time when an awful classmate of mine told me very smugly that I was spelling my own name wrong.

My introduction to mansplaining at 7 years old…

@fitzwilliamdarcy , I've just returned a legal document that had my name wrong.

I still get told by people that I'm saying or spelling my name wrongly, and it is usually, but not always, by men.

@KirstenBlest "@CurlewKate , Banks wouldn't reject a cheque with Isobel spelled Isabel.
Are you sure about that?"
Yes. Because my name is "one of those names." I have been not thinking people love me less for misspelling it for more years than you've been alive. So I lived through a time when cheques were actually a thing.