To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

Same here with an -ie ending instead of -y. I think you will just have to live with it.

My name is often misspelt - the way people misspell it isn’t even a variation, it is just plain wrong! I don’t like it, but can’t do much about it without looking really pedantic.

I had the same with my DD2 and to a certain extent Dd3, though that is with just adding an extra letter...so double t rather than a single one.
DD2 is now 22 and nothing has changed so I'd say get used to it!

I've got a name like that but which also has a similar name with a different final letter and it's also often shortened (which I don't do).

It's very often written wrongly but so long as it's some attempt to spell the correct name (ie not the one which is a syllable different) and they don't shorten it, I don't mind.

On the plus side (and as someone who is always having their name misspelt - including in response to work emails when my name is actually in the email address) your child will grow up to never misspell anyone's name as they know how annoying it is.

I had the exact same thing. V popular name in the UK, I chose to use the original spelling, all cards and texts were with the more well known spelling. I ended up hating the spelling I'd chosen and changed her name at 11 weeks old to the more well known one.

I have an Aunty Leslie, or is it Lesley 😀 I never know

My cousin called her daughter Ellie, but spelt it Elle, so of course everyone called her Elle not Ellie.

How is it not rude to check something simple like how someone spells their name?

Seriously, that must be deliberate.

The grandparent can be corrected...we'll be keeping all cards for when she's older won't want her to see it always wrong.
But meh

Lesley - female
Leslie - male

Yanbu but I knew loads of people would say you are bu!
I have a name a bit like that too. I can't understand how people can see something signed eg "Marie", repeatedly, and forms etc with my name "Marie" on them, and still write back "Maria". Like a pp I think it shows lack of attention to detail. I can't believe that people need to be in such a hurry signing a card for a new baby that they can't be bothered to read the name in front of them.
I think we should make an effort to get people's names right, because it shows that we care enough to do that one small polite thing.

I've got a daughter with a totally legitimate, fairly common name in the English speaking world, but which is spelt in a non-standard way because of its origins (think like Siobhan, although the name isn't that and it isn't Irish in origin).

She's nine and her own grandfather still spells it totally wrong, phonetically and in a way that the name has never been spelt officially. Her Godfather spells it in another entirely different, but equally wrong, way. They've seen her name spelt correctly thousands of times. You can't sweat this stuff (as long as they aren't buying the kid presents with their names embroidered on!)

It's nice to be sent cards tho, right?

I have a name that's easily misheard - it's life, you get used to it.

DH has the opposite problem - full name really is Tom, gets lengthened to Thomas all the time, even when he tells people that isn’t his name. He even gets people asking “if he is really sure” his full name isn’t Thomas. Yes, he is really sure.

Mines a perfectly normal spelling and I'm still changing my name because people insist on calling me the male version of it
Even when my email, signature, doctors notes, whatever have it all spelled right and I'm standing in front of them

We have family that spell my son’s name wrong - I think the Scottish version only has one ‘t’. They don’t mean harm, but it’s irritating.
The first name I thought of being spelt wrong was Eloise. My friend had a baby called Eloise and I was the only one that spelt it right.

I hear you. I have a Beatrix. They don't even sound the same but nevertheless people often say/write Beatrice. Annoying, but I did expect it.

Yeah this sums it up. Rushing through writing a new baby card sort of takes away from the nice sentiment of sending one. If you can’t get it right in a new baby card you are absolutely not going to get it right in any birthday card going forward are you?

I'm almost 40 and people spell my name wrong continuously. Even when replying to an email from me where it's both in the email address and the sign off.

It's never going to change and it won't for your child either. However, you will appreciate the people who get it right!

I had a family member who used to both write and say her DN's name wrong deliberately every time. She thought the actual name sounded "foreign" so she didn't approve of it 🙄

@watcherintherye ooops I mean to quote pp you were replying to... Not you . Sorry

I have a name like this. 2 equally common spellings. I honestly don't care when I get the wrong one, unless it was a close friend, but I imagine I would care more if it were my child so I sympathise. But I guess my point is don't overthink it, your DC won't bother.

The same thing has happened to us with DC3! Two possible, legitimate spellings and we went with the slightly more common/more British one but about half, maybe slightly more, of people spell it the other way. I'd understand if we'd told them his name in person but almost everyone has been told by message, with the name spelled out for them🤪

With ours I wonder if some people just prefer the other spelling (I searched MN for the name before he was born some people had strong feelings for one spelling or the other) so use it despite it not being his name.

Anyway, it has baffled me more than pissed me off but I feel sorry for DS now I realise he's probably going to have a lifetime of this and have wondered if I should have used the other spelling, or named him something else entirely.