To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

Just correct them (nicely!) and let them know it’s an easy mistake.

My name isn’t ambiguous but there is a shorter, more traditional version that I am often addressed as in emails. I don’t care.

My friend's son has two possible spellings, every time I write it in a text I get muddled about which it is, I just can't seem to remember!

In my family we have
Bobby
Lizzy
Molly
Anne
Jill
And the surname Davis (no E)
Honestly you just get used to it.

I really struggle with Claire, Clare, Clair as I know at least one of each.

If you've actually written it to them and they've responded spelling it wrong then I think it's rude.

However having said that my ds has a name which can be spelt a variety of ways and he has the non traditionally English version of the spelling. People spell wrong in response to messages where I've written his name all the time! I just shrug and move on.

I find it more annoying they use a shortened version as a nn in response that's he never been called and they never call him to his face 🤷‍♀️🤣

I also have a name that is unisex. I have the traditional spelling and people always assume because I'm female it's something about 3 different ways to the way it is.

But I have used a shortened nn since I was about 12 so most people nowadays don't even know my full name!

Because she's still a baby's I'd make sure when you text or post on SM you always use her name so people get use to seeing it.

And if you want you can always respond to texts with it spelt wrong using her name again (rather than her/she) to make the point.

Very petty isn't it.

I have one child who does have a name which can easily be misspelled so I understand others on the thread. I just shrug and am used to it now.

As for the pp who has family who misspell a three letter word name. It must be deliberate. Hardly a huge amount of letters to get in a muddle about even for those who have busy schedules?? The mind boggles 🤷

I think some people just don’t notice this stuff. It’s so weird when you do, but I don’t think it’s rudeness when people don’t. We have a lady at work called Jennie. The number of emails to ‘Jenny’ from people that her known her for years and like her and are lovely people- it’s like a blindness to certain details. Unfortunately I think you have to accept it’s going to happen, and not get too upset about it, as it will drive you crazy otherwise.

People seem to have some sort of compulsion to spell names wrong. I have a name that is moderately unusual which has at least three possible spellings and a number variants that are different names but sound similar. I use the most common spelling of my name, but I have learnt over the years that I will inevitably be called by any of six or seven possibilities and I'm really quite pleasantly surprised when people get it right.

I’m dying to know which 3 letter boys name can be misspelled! Unless it’s something mad like Jym or Lea.

@Algor1thm well actually they're probably more likely to get it right going forward, because they might have had more exposure to it!
I don't know. I have never been attached to my name (it's not English so 'any' spelling is just a guess anyway).

But these days everything is so rushed, the volume of texts, etc if one letter is different it's an easy mistake. And if they have gone to the trouble of buying a card, writing in it, putting a stamp and posting it you can't claim that they don't care.

The fact so that SO many have done it shows it's an easy mistake. Parents always think the worl revolves around your newborn but it's really a normal day in someone else's life. Save your energy for more important things.

I also wonder if people decide to use the spelling they like/approve of. DS was about 20 when one family member finally managed to spell his name right on Christmas cards, She used a foreign spelling - a bit like Josef instead of Joseph. No idea why. And MIL actually argued with me about DD's name when we told her - OK we had gone for an unusual (but legitimate) spelling but MIL insisted it should be something else which was phonetic but not an actual spelling, think Mareea instead of Maria. But she got there in the end.

My DD is called Daisy, a simple name to spell with no real variations - when she was born my MIL bought her a large nursery decoration with ‘Daisie’ written across it in huge letters 🤦‍♀️

Your home is your identity. It's who you are, and it's important. If people can't be bothered to make the effort to spell it right, they're being ignorant.

I was a teacher for many years in a multicultural town. It really annoyed me that some of my colleagues didn't even take the trouble to pronounce their pupils' names properly. The first thing I did with a new class is ensure that I was spelling and pronouncing each child's name properly. As some of our kids were non-verbal that meant checking with their parents. But to me it.was worth it. Everyone's name should be respected.

Home? NAME!

I've got a fairly uncommon name - although it's not a weird spelling, it looks exactly as it sounds - and I've had wacky spellings of it my whole life. And sometimes altogether get called the wrong name lol. It doesn't actually bother me. I've actually just realised in writing this that my cousins daughter is called Isobelle and I actually have no idea if that is the correct spelling of it or not. I'm going to find out now 🥰

Also I don't mean to assume that one letter is different I mean if it sounds the same!

Same here. How taxing can it be mentally to spell a three letter name?? Tricky stuff.

You are not unreasonable to feel pissed off. I have a normal name that people always pronounce and spell differently, even if I have literally just told them. Fucks me off so much. But I’ve come to the conclusion that people are stupid, inattentive, really don’t care, or a combination of the three.

@Mananarama , Lea is not a misspelling. Neither is Legh. Both are pronounced Lee and are surnames.

I adore the name Daisy. My first doll over 30 years ago was called Daisy and I always said I'd name my DD that.

But I had a boy 🤣

Your home does form part of your identity too though, so you're not wrong😂

This. It really isn't important.

My first and surname can be spelt one of two ways. I think the way mine is spelt is how the names sound so obviously the correct way 😀 Not that I've been asked for a while bit of someone was writing/typing my name I always say, "first name with a xxx, surname without an e". As I've frequently had my name spelt wrong, I'm always careful with others.

My great great aunt and godmother spelled my name wrong all the time. It drove my Mum nuts. Ranted it was rude and deliberate. My Aunty Margaret was the kindest of women and I adored her. She lived until I was 17 and she loved me for every second of my life. I don't care that she couldn't spell my name.

It's annoying but does it really matter? Just point it out or keep using the correct spelling. Most people will get it. Perhaps some won't.

I have a name that can be spelt two common, then one less common way. I'm of the opinion if you've heard my name verbally, or don't know me I won't take offence if it's spelt wrong and just ignore it. On replies to emails and people who do know me, I will get annoyed at the lack of care.

Mainly (and I say this in jest like you my parents could only agree on my name) I'm annoyed with my parents for giving me a name I have to spell every time.