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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

469 replies

Algor1thm · 10/06/2023 19:44

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

OP posts:
eastegg · 11/06/2023 23:34

Wordsofthewise · 11/06/2023 19:17

It appears you’ve made it to the news @Algor1thm

https://apple.news/AwhyyhMxYS6u2pkfOguYGEg

Many on here, and this sloppy journo, have run away with the idea that the baby is a girl. Don’t think OP ever said that….Quite apt on a thread about seeing something different from what’s written down.

violetsunrise · 11/06/2023 23:35

It IS a bit rude if they have the name written in front of them in all honesty. And it’s not as if it’s a spelling that’s “out there” by the sounds of it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/06/2023 23:58

I actually have an Isabelle and the spellings have been interesting! Isobel, isabel, isobell, isabell, ....all from family! Everyone else got it right! My uncle bless him did apologise that they got it wrong but they sent the card straight away after a phone call from my father, so didn't realise the spelling until it was too late. So him and my aunt where instantly forgiven!

TeaAndTattoos · 12/06/2023 00:12

YANBU op I get what you mean I’ve spent my whole life having to tell people how my full name is spelt because it has loads of different ways to spell it and my mum chose to go with the less used spelling I hate my full name so everyone just calls me by the shortened version although even then when I get cards they stick an extra letter in my name. I can’t win but at this point I’m my life I have just accepted it.

KM123456 · 12/06/2023 00:46

Not unreasonable, but idealistic. I have a conventional name with multiple possible spellings. This will happen to her for her whole life. If you get upset about it you will spend her whole life angry. Just deal with it, and focus on getting things like blankets with her name on them spelt correctly.

stacyvaron · 12/06/2023 03:44

You do sound a bit entitled. It would be more appropriate to focus on being thankful that people are sending cards and sharing your joy.

RachaelN · 12/06/2023 05:50

I actually think this is incredibly rude. It is not difficult to check the correct spelling. Especially as it is a well known name.
I have always made sure that I spell people's names correctly.
And no, my first name is never spelled wrong. I just think people should be more considerate in general.

RedStef1983 · 12/06/2023 06:49

I’m 40 and people still spell my name wrong 😂 You could always get her a little babygrow with ‘Hello my name is…..’ on the front. Then post it everywhere and send it to everyone as a thank you card.

Original poster
Algor1thm · 12/06/2023 08:02

RedStef1983 · 12/06/2023 06:49

I’m 40 and people still spell my name wrong 😂 You could always get her a little babygrow with ‘Hello my name is…..’ on the front. Then post it everywhere and send it to everyone as a thank you card.

Literally did this… 😂 The announcement could not have been clearer…

OP posts:
Original poster
Algor1thm · 12/06/2023 08:05

Haugh · 11/06/2023 20:46

Sorry if it’s impacting negatively. For next baby choose something easier.

Looking at this thread, it seems like you can choose a name that only has one standard spelling and still get this, so it’s not that simple 😅 If you rule out all names that have more than one plausible spelling that’s a lot of names you have to cross off your list. Anything that ends in a y/ie or starts with a C/K would be gone instantly.

OP posts:
brizzledad · 12/06/2023 09:36

i have a first name that's definitely a name, but a surname that looks a bit like a first name. every week I get a few "Dear Surname" emails... You get used to it.

FlipFlop1987 · 12/06/2023 12:11

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable but I wouldn’t mention it to anyone either, they’ll probably take it the wrong way if they have sent card/presents or even well wishes.

My DD has an Irish name but being English there is absolutely no way anyone would spell or even know how to pronounce it so we went with the English version. Still have people spelling it wrong even with the 5 letters it has. It bugs me but I get past it.

The only time I was really annoyed was when my PIL sent their New Baby card and put the Irish version then in brackets after put (this is the Irish spelling). They’re Scottish living in England! Why would they do that, no connection to Ireland at all so means nothing to them. It looks like it’s sent to the wrong baby. But that’s my inlaws all over, awkward for the sake 🙄

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/06/2023 12:18

Very annoying, OP. If it were me, I’d just gently point out whenever the opportunity arises, that the correct spelling is Isobel (or whatever it is.)

It really used to wind me up that a dd’s ballet teacher constantly used the male version of her not at all uncommon name - AlexandER instead of AlexandRA. At the time dd had virtually waist length hair!

TBH I put it down to her being a bit thick.

ChimChimeny · 12/06/2023 13:29

Looking at this thread, it seems like you can choose a name that only has one standard spelling and still get this, so it’s not that simple

DD has a short name which can be a shortened version of a name but is still a name in it's own right (think Jenny/Jennifer) and people call her the long version for no apparent reason! I think it's mainly careless rather than being deliberately mean but you'd think family would know better, especially when you have made it so clear how you spell her name.

Pinkfluff76 · 12/06/2023 13:38

It’s not the hormones, I’m with you OP. It’s not rocket science and it’s rude not to ensure it’s correct. You have my sympathy

AlfietheSchnauzer · 12/06/2023 13:48

My daughter's name is Mackenzie but the AMOUNT of people who write McKenzie is ridiculous- even her paternal grandparents do it and it drives me mental. McKenzie is the male spelling ffs

MargotBamborough · 12/06/2023 13:48

Algor1thm · 12/06/2023 08:05

Looking at this thread, it seems like you can choose a name that only has one standard spelling and still get this, so it’s not that simple 😅 If you rule out all names that have more than one plausible spelling that’s a lot of names you have to cross off your list. Anything that ends in a y/ie or starts with a C/K would be gone instantly.

Show quote history

Yep. Apparently everyone who names their baby Katherine or Claire or Rachel or Eleanor is being unreasonable and setting their child up for a lifetime of annoyance and all the people who can't be arsed to check their spellings are being reasonable.

Nordicrain · 12/06/2023 14:05

This is jsut the way things are when you use a name with various - legitimate - spellings. You will waste a lot of energy being angry about it if you don't get used to that.

potniatheron · 12/06/2023 14:05

As long as you haven't called your kid Aelinor, you and she will be fine.

StormShadow · 12/06/2023 14:10

Nordicrain · 12/06/2023 14:05

This is jsut the way things are when you use a name with various - legitimate - spellings. You will waste a lot of energy being angry about it if you don't get used to that.

Yeah, this. People are going to get it wrong, they're going to not think to check because they don't actually devote a great deal of headspace to whether it's Claire or Clare. This is what you bought into when you chose the name.

People can argue over whether it's unreasonable or not, but either way, your best bet is to forget about it. Speaking as another Katie/Katy named person with a child whose name also frequently gets misspelled.

WillowKnicks · 12/06/2023 14:38

I wonder if it's the same name as my DD? Sounds like it could be, especially the movie with a different spelling...does it also have a slightly different pronunciation?

She's 19 & still people spell my DDs incorrectly!

I can live with that but what really annoys me & actually astounds me, is a friend, who will not pronounce it the correct way!

We will have a conversation, with me saying (not real name) "Mia this & that" & she will ask questions about "Maya"...for 19 years!!! 🤣

Dixiechickonhols · 12/06/2023 15:00

My dd has a short name with only one spelling yet a few people always called her a similar longer name. Even if I’d correct. Her year 3 TA did it for a year. I think people just have a blindness and once they think it’s x name that’s it.
I use full version of my name. Someone else joined team same name but happy to use nickname. So we thought all sorted i’m long name, she’s short name except several people call me short version even though I’ve never used that name.

JoWawa · 12/06/2023 15:06

I am 68 and people mispell my name just like you have described. You just have to live with it. When I email poeple with my correct spelling, they reply with my name mis-spelt. I think it's rude but there is nothing I can do about it.

JFDIYOLO · 12/06/2023 15:20

I've got one of those names with at least three spellings. My experience is that your baby's stuck with people getting it wrong forever, I'm afraid.

MisschiefMaker · 12/06/2023 15:34

The thing in @Algor1thm you said you knew the spelling was going to confuse people from the outset but you went with it anyway and now you're complaining about how awful it is that your friends are spelling it wrong.

So either you deliberately gave your child a name that you know is going to cause confusion and spelling issues forevermore - and if that's such a big deal why would you do that to your child? If there's a victim here it's them not you.
OR you deliberately gave your child a name that is sometimes misspelled but you know that it's not the end of the world and isn't something to get upset about. Just acknowledge that your friends were nice for sending cards at all and move on from it.