To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

I didn’t think the spelling would confuse people, it’s hardly confusing. I did anticipate that it would sometimes be spelt incorrectly by strangers, like when giving the name orally they might not ask which spelling and just guess. I didn’t however anticipate close friends and family completely ignoring the spelling I’ve written in front of them and choosing to spell it differently.

As the responses to this thread make clear, there are so many names that have multiple possible spellings that ruling out all of them would be a bit extreme. It would be unreasonable of me to expect no one to ever make an error with the spelling, but it doesn’t seem too crazy to me to think close family members would use the correct spelling in new baby cards.

To add to the story - we’ve just had a personalised clothing item sent to us with the wrong spelling 😂 You couldn’t make it up. I’m tempted to change it with a sharpie and then display it on the baby passive aggressively 😅

I think personalised item is the point where people should really be double checking first! Even if it is a bit precious to expect that for every person who sends a card.

I had this with both my kids, but people eventually got it right. I deliberately went with a phonetic spelling of my youngest's middle name, rather than the original Irish, to make it easy for her later.

I'm sorry this is upsetting you. It seems unreasonable for people to get the spelling wrong in a direct response to a message with the baby's name shown. However to those saying that it's just lazy and stupid to spell people's names wrong..I have to say that laziness and stupity may not be anything to do with it. I can spell all my friends names correctly from my school days but as you get older you meet more and more people and it becomes very difficult to remember which friend or niece spells their name which way if you know more than one person with the same name.

Obviously I make an effort to get it right but an alarm bell doesn't always go off in my head that this person has an Awkward spelling.. and then you may get the wrong spelling.. regardless of whether you are family or not.

I'm afraid this comes with the territory OP. I have a name of this type and it is still regularly misspelled by people who have known me for years (I am late 40s!)

I spelt my own name wrong yesterday. I'd have zero chance with anyone else's.

My DD used to get very cross with people who spelt her name Katie instead of Katy!

I get what you are saying. Some people are being deliberately obtuse.

An example - Amy/Aimee. You took into consideration that strangers may send post / write down as Aimee but you assumed close family and friends would take note of the fact her name is Amy and write it that way, but they haven't.

You've two options really. Either a blanket text/Facebook post to all explaining to everybody that her name is Amy not Aimee and that you won't be using / wearing / keeping anything with her wrong name on them and asking people to please ensure they check the spelling.......or you just accept that either way the name still sounds the same and she'll still answer to it regardless so it doesn't matter except for official documents.

It is annoying... I've got a name like this and at least 50% of people seem unable to spell it. I grit my teeth when, underneath a Facebook post I've made with my name clearly there to see (for the sake of argument, let's say my name is Tracey) and people will say e.g "yes Tracy I agree" or something. Why can't they see my name there and just copy what it says, regardless of how they think it "should" be spelled! It's not even a wacky or out-there name, just the slightly less common version of a very normal name!
Sorry for going off on one OP but I totally understand your annoyance over your baby's name!!

It’s just not that big a deal. Why spend your life getting irritated about something so minor? Most people are too busy living their own lives to care about the way names are spelled. If that’s going to cause you to be majorly affronted then that’s on you.

You don't get to decide whether it's a big deal or not. When someone who has known you all your life or who is replying to an email you have just sent them can't be arsed to spell your name correctly, it's rude.

Yes, it's rude. On a par with assuming someone will be known by a short form of their name when in fact they use the full length name (looking at you, schoolfriends of nearly 50 years ago!), or not making the effort to learn to pronounce a name properly when it's not actually that difficult. Some of it may be dyslexia, but a great deal of it is laziness, sloppiness and selfishness.

The thing is, if you are writing a card to someone, how do you check the spelling of the person without asking them which is a bit embarrassing as you are admitting you don’t know!

I gave the example of my friend Philippa earlier. It took me years to ingrain it in my brain that it was two ‘p’s. I’m not sure why. I don’t think I am rude or lazy and I am generally a good speller. I also work with two Lindsays/Lynseys and two Anns/Annes and two Cathryns/Catherines. It’s confusing!

It's so frustrating and I totally understand how you feel especially as you are making a point at every opportunity of how your daughters name is speIt. I have 3 children who have different ways their name can be spelled and always its wrong and that's family even surname has an added letter to a more widely used name. It's so easily done though I'm a bugger for spelling names wrong too eg Ann versus Anne always put e on and found spelled some people's name wrong for years, just keep correcting and they will soon get it in their heads ( well most will) and congratulations on the birth of your Daughter btw , gorgeous name

Everyone got my maiden name wrong and now gets my married name wrong.
Waters became Walters & Hirst becomes Hurst.
Get over yourself,it’s not deliberate and you should be focusing more on the fact that these people care enough to send a card.
get plenty of opportunity to correct folk,when it comes to Christmas cards a lot of folk will check on spellings ( and babies name if they’re not close). You could of course make a point of correcting folk and look petty ,ungrateful and snobby,and that will solve the problem as they won’t bother with you anymore.

I'm going to say YABU, because you aren't correcting people. It isn't rude to correct them. And it is important especially now, otherwise these family members will spell her name wrong forever.

When you chose the name you knew this would happen so you have to live with it. It is up to you to deal with it. It is not up to the whole world to learn how to spell your child’s name.

OP never said the name, in fact she never said she had a girl. Ok, I admit I’ve got really over-invested in how so many people have misread the posts! It’s an interesting study in the power of suggestion. As you were!

That's true, but she gave Isabel/Isabelle as an example.
She said it wasn't in the top 100, which rules out Louis/Louie. It might be Stephen/Steven.

I have a treble whammy - I have a Welsh middle name that no bugger outside of the country seems able to pronounce (it’s two tiny syllables!) - and it is my given name, in that I have only ever been called by my middle name. If I had a quid for each time someone asked me why I didn’t go by my ‘real name’ I would be a millionaire. A) It IS my real name, it’s on my birth certificate and B) My parents chose to call me by my middle name, I didn’t pop out of my mum demanding it! And my first name can be spelt three ways and very often people insist on calling me by it, even though I’ve never been called it before. In fact the last time I upgraded my phone they made me redo my ID proof and now all of my bills are addressed to my first name, despite the fact that they take payment from my bank account which is in my middle name!! Honestly, you have nothing to worry about, it’s your kid that will take the brunt of it later in life and, you know, I’ve learned not to have a chip on my shoulder about it.

@GwinCoch , that must be a nuisance.
I know many who have a first name like John, Thomas, William or Margaret but are known by their middle name. Some of them use the first name now, and they tended to have a Welsh middle name.

I’ve had this problem all my life I spell my name out or write it down and still people spell it wrong . Or presume it short for something else and call me that !!! But after 55 years I now let it slide even though every so often it does irritate me

I’m 59 with a fairly common name but still get up to 4 variations of spelling
Doesnt help that I have a very unusual surname which I spell out to all and sundry but still get cracking variations of
yesterday it was an invoice from vet addressed to mr and Mrs (I’m long since divorced) with 6 letters wrong
double nn where it should be ll and ending totally wrong

YANBU

If it's anything like me (a few accepted spellings of my name, mine is not the most common) she will have this in life.

It's annoying with relatives getting your name wrong for 40/ 20+ years (great auntie and DHs cousin I am looking at you).

It is even more annoying when you try and set a call up for work and you have to chase up because they didn't listen to how you spell your name and got the email address wrong.😕

eastegg
Thanks for pointing that out, don't know how I managed to misread post so badly ( have now re-read) such an idiot! probably why I end being one of those people that spells names wrong, 🙄