Boyfriend says I'm ignorant -aibu to think I'm not?

[aaratty]

Tomorrow there is a big concert in our city.
60,000 so hotels are now all full or ridiculously expensive.
A week ago a "friend "(hasn't spoke to him in 10 years ) messaged asking if he could park his camper van on our drive tonight and my partner said yes (which okay it's fine )
Now tomorrow we are also going to this concert and I'm really excited and bought a new outfit and want to look nice.
The plan is to head into town around 1pm (we are lucky it's a 5 min walk to town and 15 to stadium )
Now he is saying they are coming inside for breakfast and a chat -I said okay no worries but in the morning il be getting ready (I want to do my hair /make up nice etc -I don't feel confident without makeup and would never be out with strangers without some make up on)
Partner has said no that's ignorant come and sit with us before you get ready and have breakfast and then quickly get ready.
I said no I'm getting ready then I'll make some breakfast -he said from what he remembers his friend likes early breakfast
Oh well -
Aibu here ?
What difference does it make if I'm getting ready whilst he is chatting with them?
I don't even know the guy

God no, different if you ran by them shielding your eyes and proceeded upstairs to get ready! A ‘heya, enjoy brekkie!’ Does the job!! Pfff on your behalf, he’s being a bit ott!!

Of course it is rude to not show your face when your spouse / partner has a friend over. OP certainly should not be making the breakfast, but going downstairs and having a cup of coffee would still leave her with at least 3.5 hours to put her make up on.

I wish someone would start one because it is so annoying how many people don't know it can mean rude.

Your partner only has an issue with your plans because it means you won’t be there to make the breakfast. He doesn’t want to, he thinks you should run around him and a strange man. I’d be rethinking the entire relationship if someone had that little respect for me.

So there are at least three hours to spare even with a lie in.
Can't you compromise by putting on casual clothes and a wee touch of make up (15 mins absolute tops but realistically five for most people). Do a quick hello and a cuppa then go upstairs and get your bath etc.

I would find someone not greeting you in any way odd.

So your Partners ‘friend’ is parking his camper on your drive.

it’s your partners friend.

your partner expects you to get up early to make everyone breakfast because friend eats early.

tell your partner he can feed and entertain his friend. It’s his friend who he’s invited without consulting you. Why are you supposed to be running around serving them all?

fuck that

you're doing them a favour they should be getting you breakfast.

tell your partner you are happy for him to get up as early as he wants and make whatever breakfast he wants. But to make sure he doesn’t wake you.

what did your partners last skivvy die of

Yes, please answer the question OP.

If you want my “in principle” answer I’m totally with you. Sounds like a massive pain in the arse.

But my actual answer is based on practical advice, as life doesn’t work just based on principle.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

As soon as I’d agreed to someone staying on my drive I’d have assumed there would be a reasonable level of interaction with them next day so shouldn’t be a surprise. I’d have dreaded it but would have automatically baked it in to weekend plans.

I also enjoy taking my time to get ready so I’d need to create time/space to do that. I hate when my DH assumes I can get ready in 5 mins same as him, and he never really learns.

But both can be done if OP truly wants to find a solution.

I missed the part where OP said she was expected to make the meal. Can still say no to that. Assumed she could just join for a bit then excuse herself as “busy”.

There isn’t a perfect one or the other outcome to this situation - I’m just giving advice on how to try balance up both sides.

The thing is that if OP loses her mind and elects to go full 1950s housewife for this long-lost pal, you can bet that if arrangements have to change for whatever reason, OP will be expected to hang around, suck it up, and go without her leisurely getting ready time to be on hand to put the full English on the minute it's wanted. Doesn't matter in the slightest if other posters are happy to be seen in their pyjamas by strangers 24/7, or to go out with a bit of lippy on and a quick comb through their hair. This is not what OP had in mind for her day.

i would utterly ignore them. This is not a friend, it’s a bloke who your partner knew years ago, who has realised he can get free parking and food and likely you’ll never see again.

I wouldn’t bother with them at all. Or ruin my planned morning.

And op didn’t agree to anything it was her partner who agreed to the long lost friend to park on their drive.

I just want to know why your boyfriend can’t make breakfast.

Love yourself more and dump this loser

I can't stand men like this who are more worried about impressing every passing randomer than the feelings of their actual partner. It's total insecurity.

Wait this is a boyfriend, not a dh or husband. Who does the place you live belong to?

Absolutely - your boyfriend used it in the correct way.

I'd say technically he is right that it is a bit ignorant, but at the same time, it's totally understandable and you're very reasonable to not pander to a stranger and just do your own thing.

He is using your drive as a convenience, not coming to see you. If you want to get ready and not have breakfast together or not see him at all I think that's absolutely fine. Probably your DH feels you should host, but doesn't want to have the burden of it. He made the arrangement though.

Tell your bf to make the breakfast. Enjoy getting ready at your own pace :) The friend probably hasn't even asked for it. Although will you have to leave your house unlocked/ give them a key to use the loo over night?

This thread is bollocks.

The OP has refused to answer the simple question of why her boyfriend cannot make breakfast for his friend.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Hope you are going to see Pink, your DP can go out for an early breakfast. Take his mate with him. And his mate should buy him breakfast, because he’s saved him a ton of money and time.

He sounds ignorant himself.

Why should you disrupt your plans to make breakfast for a complete stranger? I’d tell him he’s welcome to have them over any time after 10am, but you won’t be cooking anything.

What an ass.

Would you ever all fuck off with the twisting over the word, "ignorant"?Its usage is perfectly correct.

@aarattyI wouldn't give a shiny shit about some randomer who has crawled out of the woodwork after 10 years looking for a favour to save him money!! He's no "friend".

As for your BF and you having to get up at sparrow's fart when you're off to cook some random user breakfast - he needs to be kicked firmly into touch! His attitude stinks. I think you should frankly throw this one back!

Yanbu, take your time and get ready. it sounds like your boyfriend really just wants you there to skivvy/make breakfast for everyone. Fuck that! Have your lie in then get ready and say hi.

Your boyfriend sounds a bit of a dick with the cat situation as well so I’d be considering whether he’s the right person your you.

Why isnt the -freeloader- friend supplying breakfast?
I wouldnt change anything for someone youve never met that isnt a big feature in your partners life either

Is your partner really expecting you to make them breakfast???