Boyfriend says I'm ignorant -aibu to think I'm not?

[aaratty]

Tomorrow there is a big concert in our city.
60,000 so hotels are now all full or ridiculously expensive.
A week ago a "friend "(hasn't spoke to him in 10 years ) messaged asking if he could park his camper van on our drive tonight and my partner said yes (which okay it's fine )
Now tomorrow we are also going to this concert and I'm really excited and bought a new outfit and want to look nice.
The plan is to head into town around 1pm (we are lucky it's a 5 min walk to town and 15 to stadium )
Now he is saying they are coming inside for breakfast and a chat -I said okay no worries but in the morning il be getting ready (I want to do my hair /make up nice etc -I don't feel confident without makeup and would never be out with strangers without some make up on)
Partner has said no that's ignorant come and sit with us before you get ready and have breakfast and then quickly get ready.
I said no I'm getting ready then I'll make some breakfast -he said from what he remembers his friend likes early breakfast
Oh well -
Aibu here ?
What difference does it make if I'm getting ready whilst he is chatting with them?
I don't even know the guy

Ignorant can also mean rude.
So posters are being ignorant about the double meaning of ignorant 🙂

That meaning is a bit informal, and not used like that everywhere.

Why can't he cook breakfast for his friends?

Op, is main the issue that he expects you to cook breakfast for them and is annoyed that you won't be able to do that if you're getting ready?

He can cook the breakfast and then there won't be a problem, surely? You can potter and do what you need to do and come say hi when you feel ready. He has an attitude problem, announcing that his friend wants an early breakfast and expecting you to make it. Bloody cheek. Is he normally like this? Sounds like he is.

You are entitled of course to do whatever you want in your own home. But if I had a guest and DH didn't even bother to yell hello down the stairs as they arrived and then prioritised trimming his sideburns or cutting his nails over meeting them I'd think he was rude.
You must be aware that if you can't ever be seen without makeup, that is very unhealthy for you and very tiring for everyone else. People shouldn't have to pander to you around this. Honestly you should be working on this or seeking help. It is not normal and I'm sure you know that.

Fair enough to not want to make breakfast for his guests, but to refuse to join them for breakfast or even greet them because you won't spare any time from your plan to spend literally hours on your hair and makeup does sound incredibly rude and vain.

@Somanycats I don't expect anyone to "pander" to me wanting make up on
But at the same time I don't really want to "pander" to a man I've never met who wants breakfast before 9am

@nosyupnorth I don't feel comfortable sat with no makeup /pjs on in front of people I've never met-nothing to do with taking time out of getting ready (although don't see why I should have to change what I want to do for a random person )

He wants you to make and eat breakfast in your pj's with someone you've NEVER met?!

Fuck. That.

But it is used and a genuine definition of the word.
Posters pointing out the incorrect use of the word are being ignorant themselves. Both definitions.

I'm not fussed about makeup, but there's no way I'd be sitting in front of strangers, or any guests come to that, in my pyjamas.

You're not leaving til 1!! I get you want to look nice but if you're up at 9, why can't you eat breakfast between 9-10, and then take 3 hours to get ready. Surely that's got to be enough time to shower, wash/dry your hair, put on make up and get dressed?
You are, however, quite reasonable not to get up earlier than 9 on your day off. Get your other half to cook for them if it that important.

Ha! Early breakfast? Tell your BF you're not planning to get up early, and he and his friend can sort themselves out and you'll come down when you're ready.
You could be nice and get ready quickly ( how long can it take?) if you don't want to come down before you're finished, or you could do a half and half approach - make up on, but hair in a messy bun or whatever and comfies as opposed to PJs.

Quite agree.

OP, you should not be expected to 'do' the breakfast. I'm sure the guests will not expect to be fully catered for, they will probably muck in with your partner. Then you can come down and do the same.

I hope you have a good time.

I believe it is regional, and it is definitely informal. There may be some people in some parts of the country, or who are unfamiliar with the 'rude' variant meaning. I was new to it when I first came to live in the South West.

UK informal
not polite or showing respect:

Cambridge Dictionary

I think the point is though that OP doesn't want to sit with/be seen by the friend before having got dressed/made-up. Which I think is reasonable. PP have said it's unhealthy to be like this which o disagree with. Many women might feel uncomfortable/vulnerable in PJs in front of a total stranger, plus if OP doesn't get many lie-ins she's entitled to do what she wants on a rare lazy morning.

No make up wouldn't bother me but I tend to get showered & dressed before breakfast anyway.

He's not your guest so I don't see the need to eat breakfast with him & certainly not to make it!

From the way you've described yourself, it should hardly be a shock to your OH that 'getting ready' isn't a 5 mins affair. What that entails and why is a separate issue.
can kinda see it from your OHs pov that it will appear odd that you're not eating breakfast with them but it was really out of order for him to make these arrangements without discussion. It's as if you've been 'summonsed' for breakfast.
I think a much better idea would be for you to get ready in your own time....maybe they come into house for 10 mins whilst you're 'finishing up'...then you all go into town for a brunch and a catch up. You each then go to the concert and presumably meet up afterwards. I'd expect guests to come into your home and continue chatting/drinking for a bit and be staying over.
How do you plan to negotiate Sunday morning (make up wise)? There's a good chance you could be eating breakfast or lunching again before (presumably) they head off home.
Long term though, I think it might be snow idea to address these insecurities. I'm with you on the 'special occasion' thing. You're going to this concert. It's a bit different and you've planned it all out in your head (like Xmas, wedding, party etc) and he's interfered with your plans.....but on Sunday I'd think it was abnormal if you didn't want his friends to see you at natural.

It’s your house. Do your thing.

Sam Fender? If so you will have an amazing time (I went last night). That will take your mind off being in a relationship with a selfish arse!

The man has not been born that could persuade me to cook breakfast in my pyjamas and then converse with a man I had never met before while still in my pyjamas. I think it would be extremely rude and a guest would probably feel very uncomfortable. As a minimum with guests I try to be fully clad and ideally have makeup on and my hair combed. If your boyfriend wants to invite a friend around then he can make breakfast for them.

He can take his mate out for breakfast at a cafe leaving you to get ready at your leisure (and bring you a butty home!)

Honestly his friend is the sort of person who goes to festivals in a campervan I bet he doesn't stand on ceremony over etiquette. He is probably cool with whatever you do.

Have your day the way you want to. 'Guests' don't get to dictate meal times. And if your BF wants them over he can host.

Go down when you're ready