Boyfriend says I'm ignorant -aibu to think I'm not?

[aaratty]

Tomorrow there is a big concert in our city.
60,000 so hotels are now all full or ridiculously expensive.
A week ago a "friend "(hasn't spoke to him in 10 years ) messaged asking if he could park his camper van on our drive tonight and my partner said yes (which okay it's fine )
Now tomorrow we are also going to this concert and I'm really excited and bought a new outfit and want to look nice.
The plan is to head into town around 1pm (we are lucky it's a 5 min walk to town and 15 to stadium )
Now he is saying they are coming inside for breakfast and a chat -I said okay no worries but in the morning il be getting ready (I want to do my hair /make up nice etc -I don't feel confident without makeup and would never be out with strangers without some make up on)
Partner has said no that's ignorant come and sit with us before you get ready and have breakfast and then quickly get ready.
I said no I'm getting ready then I'll make some breakfast -he said from what he remembers his friend likes early breakfast
Oh well -
Aibu here ?
What difference does it make if I'm getting ready whilst he is chatting with them?
I don't even know the guy

Literally nobody cares about your argument on the definition of ignorant. Everyone who reads the OP’s post knows exactly what she’s talking about so stop derailing the thread. This is AIBU, not Dictionary Corner.

OP, these are your DP’s friends and he should be hosting by leading the cooking and cleaning, not you. If he wants to feed them he makes the breakfast at 8am and you can join them when it’s ready for 20 minutes, before going to get ready. If you feel uncomfortable without make up then put some on and some simple clothes before you greet them, then go off and do your own thing while he catches up with them.

How is tonight/tomorrow/Sunday going to pan out? They (at least 2 people) arrive in a camper-van some time this evening. They are bound to knock on the door and be invited in for a drink/toilet, etc. Then what, sit with you for the evening or sit out in their van? Maybe they will be lovely and you'll all have a great time! You'll possibly feel obliged to meet them after the concert to walk back and again be invited in and the day after, more breakfast and showers, etc.

I imagine the van will be like a spare room but you will essentially be having guests for the weekend. Nothing wrong with that, but I would be prepared for much more interaction than just breakfast tomorrow.

i missed the bit with the cat at first.

OP tbh if your bf is often like this, making decisions about how you spend your time, who and when you cook for - it doesn't sound as though you are compatible. This will really come to bite you if you have children together.

Think long and hard about what you are into here.

Exactly this. And it's up to the OP to decide whether she wants to chat to guests in her pyjamas or not so I don't know why posters on here are telling her she should.

I hear you OP, I also wouldn’t be able to sit in PJs with a bare face with people I don’t know.

Can you compromise and put on some tinted moisturiser, bronzer, bit of lippy, brush your hair and put on casual clothes and have a cuppa tea with them at 8.30 / 9am? Then say ‘right, you must excuse me, I’m going to leave you guys to catch up. I’ve been looking forward to today for months, so I’m going to have the morning to get ready. See you in a bit, enjoy breakfast’

That’s what I would do, he’s right it is a bit ignorant to not even come downstairs and meet someone.

Do exactly what you want to do &also LTB, you sound miserable as would I if I lived with this twit.

RTFOP. He doesn’t just want her to say hello, he wants her to cook breakfast for them.

Tbh this guy should be arriving with breakfast to thank you both for putting him up. Your partner should direct him to your local coop (in my experience the tastiest croissants and pain au chocolats). When you’re ready, you can go down and have brunch. But your partner should still do the lions share seeing as he agreed to the arrangement.

Your partner sounds lazy and pushy. If he can’t even look after a cat, I’d be concerned about spending my life with him if he wants kids.

Your DP should make breakfast and explain in advance you don’t want to eat so early so won’t be joining

I really don’t see what his problem with ‘Ratty is just getting herself ready (or even ‘having a lazy morning as she’s usually up at 5am’) and will be down to say hi in a bit’.

I frequently leave my DH to do the initial hosting for my/his/our friends as often we’ve been crazily cleaning and prepping etc and I’ve got wet hair and no face on by the time the doorbell goes! Pretty sure nobody is offended by it, especially as like you say you’re actually doing them a favour and they’re probably only even coming in to pay lip service to the use of your drive. Sounds like your partner maybe idolises this guy?

Good for you for sticking to your guns. You'll be having a badly needed lie in and partner can either (a) make breakfast for his friend at your place; (b) take friend out for breakfast to a café; (c) get friend to take him out for breakfast as a thank you for providing your drive to park in; (d) leave friend to make own arrangements.

He has So Many Choices! :)

Blimey it all sounds very micro managed.
Do what you want OP

Stand your ground op! I’m sure he can find his way to the supermarket to buy a few croissants, poor little lamb!

You're not running a hotel.

If he wants to behave as if he is, or to welcome, host and entertain his friend in the manner he prefers, he can do that.

You are not his concubine.

Don’t have kids.
You’d never manage the school run.

YANBU. They invited themselves. He does what suits him best so you do what suits you best.

To start with ignorant is the wrong word so he might want to learn to express himself better

its annoying but not a massive deal IMO… as long as he’s not expecting you to do the actual hosting, sounds like he just wants to show off a bit as a couple? He’s probs looking forward to the opportunity to host them.

get half ready, have breakfast (you said they like it early), they’re away/otherwise entertained by partner an hour later and you’ve still got hours to get fully ready?

Actually I think visiting 'friend' should take your DP out for breakfast as a thank you. He can invite you, you can decline, they can have a catch up, you can relax. Win, win, win!

I assumed he meant ignorant as in OP is ‘ignoring’ the visitors, as I’ve encountered many to use it in this (erroneous) way.

Same here in Yorkshire.
If partners friend wants an early breakfast then partner is more than welcome to make it.
Stick to your plan op.

But if OP doesn't want to have 'much more interaction' that is also fine! It's her weekend too. Just because you've got guests doesn't obligate you to socialise with them. They're just using your home as a base. If I have guests over, normally because they're doing a marathon or other running thing in my city, I do always make it clear I'm not 'hosting', they're just staying at my house and I'm not gonna be having a full on weekend of socialising with them. We are all adults here. No need to force anyone to socialise or make them feel bad for not doing so when it's their downtime to use as they please.

That's the modern, colloquial definition of irony, I think!

The original meaning in drama was when the audience knew something a character didn't. Also known as 'dramatic irony'.

OP doesn't want to meet a stranger without her make up on
She doesn't want to get up earlier than she planned/wants to meet a stranger without her make up on
She doesn'T want to get up earlier than she planned/wants to make breakfast for a stranger and see him without her make up on

She has outlined what she wants to do. She has said that her bf wants her to switch up her plans completely AND make brekfast for complete strangers she neither invited nor wants to see without her make up on

And posters can be absolute fuckers and dig on her for not wanting to see people without make up on and take ages to get ready for a gig but you are just fuckers for bringing that into this thread. OP can be as cagey as she wants about who she sees and when and how she is dressed / made up when she does.

That isn't the point here. But sure - blame her for not wanting to dick pander to both her bf and his user "friend" the OP has never met.

OP, why is it your job to make breakfasts? Why havent you told him to fuck off and do it instead of arguing about when you'll do it?

Boggles man!

Seeing as your boyfriend likes being forthright, tell him to tell the blagger friend they can go out for breakfast as blagger's treat for saving £££ on a hotel bill – leaving you in peace to get ready. It's the least the blagger can do to say thank you.