To think most men are degenerate if you dig down

[dontshootthefruit]

That's it really. Could be pmt but...

I'm not sure MN helps change my mind, and yes, I know people don't post their happy stories.

My own experiences, that of most of my friends, the women on here. It's endless. I know there are some guys that are nicer than others. I know some that I consider good friends. I still wonder, deep deep down if they're all degenerate when it comes to sex.

Porn, prostitution, rough sex, casual assaults, etc. I listened to womens hour today discussing a new BBC doc about the widespread groping on the tube in Japan. What's most shocking to me is the fact they have sex clubs there that allow men to pay to replicate that kind of sexual assault (clubs decked out like train carriages full of prostitutes that appear to resist as part of the fun). Thing is, it's not a fringe activity, it's a "thing". I totally despair. I try to be positive, I have a partner, I have a daughter that's growing up fas, but push comes to shove... wouldn't trust one man that deeply when their sexuality calls.

Shoot me.😀

was watching World's Toughest Prisons and there was an episode in Lesotho and a huge percentage of the men in there were jailed for rape or child sexual abuse.

It said that sexual assault is appallingly normalised. The men the interviewed in the jail said that now they'd been educated not to abuse women and girls and wouldn't do it any more.

Here's the part that stunned me. Those men are going to have been convicted because there will have been evidence - e.g signs of fighting back or someone hearing calls for help, and sperm.

I extrapolated from that that, if the societal conditions are right, a shockingly high % of men can and will become aroused and ejaculate even when the woman is crying and fighting back.

Made me go cold.

@Letitrow I tried that, took me hours, and he stuck a pin in the modem and it just reset itself.

Eh? You don't really get a choice.

I completely agree with you.

This. I also think that men who would not normally behave badly get drawn in by the bad behaviour of the minority because they think they will be ostracised if they don't.

I also think that for nearly all women, their awareness of sex of ANY kind is of being abused early in life on whatever level by men they should be able to trust.

of course you don't have a choice, but you think it's a curse if you do? You resent a baby boy because he's born with a penis? You will be wary of your own child because "male"?

It's frightening.

I am in my late 50s. I can count on both hands the number of men that I have known that I trust and think are good people. But that does include male relatives.

Eh? You went from 0-60 for no reason. All you had to take from that is the UK does not allow sex selection so there is no option not to 'bear it'.

If one of my kids did that they would have no phone, no Internet access, no anything for about 6 months

A group of men will behave differently than a group of men and women. A group of women will behave differently to a group of women and men.
Most men I know are respectful in mixed company but mixed friendship is something that is frowned on by lots of people. Maybe its something we should be encouraging more and more accepting of.

but why do you think you'd have to "bear it"?

Sigh. I don't think you have to 'bear' it. RTFT.

I saw and went through a lot of shitty stuff as a child, teen and young adult all due to men who were aggressive, or perverted, or entitled, or misogynistic, or badly raised, or weak and pathetic. I had a very mixed friendship group, and there were a couple of boys who didn’t give me ‘hidden danger’ bad vibes and I am still friends with them now 30 years later.

I always wanted daughters, never analysed why, and had two sons.

Finding out DS1 was a boy at the 20 week scan 15 years ago I was terrified. It must have triggered my deep fear / distrust of men. I panicked about the huge responsibility of raising a boy into a man who will do no harm and be deep down decent. Same again at DS2’s 20 week scan.

Still today with 10 and 14yo boys, I worry and work very hard (with my DH, who is one of the good ones according to my initial spidey senses 22 years ago and his actual behaviour ever since) similar to a PP to model in real time every day that women and men are equal but different. Violence and aggression are absolutely not tolerated ever, DH talk to each other respectfully and with humour (and disagree and come to solutions in front of them), DH is a good role model and also steps up to pull them up if ever they veer off course. There is no talk of chivalry or “ladies” either - fuck that, I am not a “lady” I am a human, flawed and complex. There is plenty of talk about being a decent human being with integrity and treating EVERYONE with respect no matter gender.

The ONLY thing that will solve the issue of male violence / sexual aggression / misogyny will be when other men - the good men - hold them to account. It needs to start at pre teen. Boys need to tell friends who start spouting shitty things to shut up. Teen boys need to tell their mate to stop harassing the girl who has turned him down ten times as he is NOT ENTITLED to anything from a girl ever. Men need to stop their mates pinching girls’ and womens’ bums or making them squeeze past in busy pubs and clubs. Men need to report their chauvinistic colleagues to HR.

Misogynist men don’t listen to women, they listen to other men. Good men are the answer.

Maybe your posts should be clearer, don't write what you don't mean if you don't want people to discuss it

Maybe you should read the quote I was responding to. Don't write if you can't be bothered to read.

Do you have the back up of a husband? I'm a single parent. I did once try to restrict internet and he went mad. I ended up ringing the guards. I know I've made mistakes, although, at the time, I didn't know how things would play out. If I could go back in time I would say ''This is an internet free house'' and I would do without mumsnet, netflix, youtube. My tried to introduce this mandate when my son was about 12 and a half and he was my height at that point but my daughter really kicked up and said it wasn't fair to her (she was right) and in the end I changed my mind. I regret it now. I should have stuck to my guns. But it is really hard when you're the single parent to a son who is 10 inches taller and as strong as an axe and always so moody and angry.

I totally disagree with you, @dontshootthefruit

My dad is a lovely man (honest, faithful, kind, respectful etc). So is my son. So is my partner.

I am friends with plenty of lovely, kind, respectful, trustworthy men.

There are obviously lots of degenerate shits around too. But the same is true of women.

People on MN start threads because they're unhappy. Things are reported in the news because they are newsworthy.

If every single man on the planet were an abusive, porn-loving, untrustworthy degenerate, it would not be newsworthy when one of them turns out to fall into that category. In the same way, nobody is going to start a thread on MN saying "my partner is nice, kind, generous, thoughtful, etc, etc", because there's nothing to say about that.

The one thing that stands out to me on here is that there are a lot of women with atrociously low standards, who seem to put themselves in the way of degenerate men.

YANBU

But may I ask, I promise I’m not being snarky, why are you with you man?
This is the one thing I don’t understand,
if you have figured out what men are about, why do you date one?
Shouldn’t you save yourself, and your DD from men?

I have... maybe you should re-read because you are not making any sense.

You said that you don't have the choice to bear having a son, it's interesting you don't want to explain yourself.

It's nothing to do with testosterone, women have testosterone and you don't see us acting like animals. When our oestrogen peaks during ovulation, at a lot higher levels than men's testosterone, we don't go around making sexual advances on people.

If woman can and are expected to control their much more powerful hormones throughout their cycle. Then men can control themselves.

It's the patriarchal society we live in, women are seen as men's possessions. It's the disgusting world that endorses this behaviour towards women because it's a man's world and to treat a women like that enforces their masculinity and power.

I certainly hope my son’s been brought up to respect women. It’s sad and depressing to think that perhaps decent men are a minority.

Crikey, it's so easy it should need explaining.

The poster asked OP how can you bear to have sons, I responded say you don't get a choice. Because there is no sex selection in the UK. So when you get pregnant and have a baby, you take what you're given, you can't hand it back and ask for a girl/boy.

Hope that's clear enough for you.

Personally I would never trust the majority of men I know, judging by the behaviours of my husband, BIls etc

You 'have robust filters on your home WiFi and their internet-connected devices so that porn and other adult content cannot be accessed'. So you are completely shielding them. Or at least trying to.

I think few men are really very decent, maybe 20% then most are dodgy and then about 20% would given the chance be utterly depraved.