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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU unreasonable to ask houseguest not to use the hairdryer at 1.30 am?

377 replies

houseguesthair · 09/06/2023 09:27

I have a friend staying in my flat with her friend. Haven't seen them much as they're out visiting during the day till late and I'm at work during the day. It's a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms.

Friend and her friend got back late last night and took long showers around midnight - I don't have an issue with that but wouldn't have done it at someone else's house if I thought they could hear and knew they were working the next day.

I then heard what I thought was the hairdryer about an hour later, I waited 10 minutes and it was still going so I got up and told friend of friend who was giving herself a bona fida blow dry in the bathroom next to my bedroom that it was too late to be using the hairdryer and that it was too loud for me and for the neighbors as she also had the window open. She grudgingly stopped and turned it off.

This morning I asked her while I was making coffee if she had slept well, she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

WIBU to ask her to turn the hairdryer off at 1.30 am? She seemed really pissed off with me this morning - even though I'm putting them up for free in a very expensive city for 5 days...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MiniMileaway · 09/06/2023 10:49

Sorry, wrong thread! 🫢

JudgeJ · 09/06/2023 10:50

DifficultBloodyWoman · 09/06/2023 09:34

I’m with you.

Many moons ago, my housemate brought some mate around after a night out for a sleepover. They made so much noise whilst ‘trying’ to be quiet that it woke me up. I put up with it for about half an hour and then got out of bed and asked them if they had to work tomorrow. I certainly did!

Housemate was very pissed off and ignored me for a few days.

Don’t wake up the person who pays the rent/mortgage!

'Trying to be quiet' after a night out is usually noisier than being normal, all that Shhh-ing!

AhNowTed · 09/06/2023 10:51

Unbelievable.

I wouldn't use a hairdryer in MY OWN home as it would wake up my husband. I don't even use the washing machine after a certain time.

Some people are just inconsiderate entitled arseholes.

WaltzingWaters · 09/06/2023 10:52

houseguesthair · 09/06/2023 10:27

@FannyFifer I get to stay at her place in her equally touristy expensive city ...

Okay so reading here what I'm going to do is change tactics - out by this evening is a hard one and an absolute punch to the wallet ( and you're right I don't want to do that to my actual friend who did bring ma a thoughtful gift) so I'm going to say

Hi Friend,

You know that I'm always happy to host you and that we've had some amazing times. But I'm really not happy about having been woken up by CF and the hairdryer. I felt disrespected in my own home. CF also does not seem happy to be staying somewhere she can't use a hairdryer or make noise at 1am. If this is really important to her I suggest she looks for a hotel. I'm working next week too and on top of needing to sleep I don't want to piss my neighbors off. Please explain to CF that she needs to either be more considerate and make minimal noise after 10pm or find somewhere else to stay. I'd also appreciate her making an effort to at least not be rude to me in my own home.

See you this evening

Houseguesthair

This is perfect

Doggymummar · 09/06/2023 10:53

So inconsiderate

MsRosley · 09/06/2023 10:53

I regularly spend time trying to work out how people end up this inconsiderate and entitled once they're out of the teenage years. It's mind boggling.

I think you've been generous, OP. I'd have told her to leave the instant she complained that morning. Absolutely outrageous behaviour.

Mirabai · 09/06/2023 10:55

Personally I’d call her or talk F2F rather than send a text, but good luck all the same.

Original poster
houseguesthair · 09/06/2023 10:55

Friend has replied

I'm so sorry. I got fed up of her long showering last night, I tried to interrupt her but she just went back to the shower and then I put my headphones in so didn't hear the hairdryer. She's been in a huff since this morning so I'm visiting x on my own. This is the first time I've been away with her, I had no idea how high maintenance she is. I'm slightly broke so not up for having to shell out on half a hotel with her to be honest but will talk to her before we get back and tell her I'm unhappy with her behavior and that she needs to behave better. I think she has a cousin here so if she doesn't buck up I'll tell her she needs to go and either get a hotel or stay there. Thanks for putting up with it this morning.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 09/06/2023 10:58

That’s a decent reply from your friend. Seems she had already noticed her behaviour….
She has a cousin in the city so could have gone there in the first place…. Don’t hesitate to tell her to leave if she doesn’t behave.
I cannot stand sulkers….

deathbyhayfever · 09/06/2023 11:00

AhNowTed · 09/06/2023 10:51

Unbelievable.

I wouldn't use a hairdryer in MY OWN home as it would wake up my husband. I don't even use the washing machine after a certain time.

Some people are just inconsiderate entitled arseholes.

I was going to write exactly that.

Crikeyalmighty · 09/06/2023 11:02

That's a nice email from your friend- who is clearly embarrassed.

borntobequiet · 09/06/2023 11:03

Boot them out. Tell them clearly it’s because of their rude, thoughtless and entitled behaviour. Find better friends.

Blueuggboots · 09/06/2023 11:03

I think that's a fair response from your friend. I think you're entirely within your rights to tell her to do one and it's good that your friend is going to back you up.

viques · 09/06/2023 11:04

If she hadn’t opened the windows the mosquitos wouldn’t have got in. Just saying…….

Imnoexpert · 09/06/2023 11:04

she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

Id respond like this to the ungrateful so and so
"Oh no that's a pity - I hope you sleep better in a hotel"

Meeting · 09/06/2023 11:07

It seems she's upset both you and her friend!

Hopefully friend sends her packing for you, that would be a great result.

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 09/06/2023 11:07

You will only be unreasonable if you allow for “friends” to stay for longer, your house is not a hotel, they either happily adapt to the needs of the people providing accommodation or fuck off somewhere else.

Putting it on simple terms, they come to visit YOU they are happy to spend time with you, are considerate to you and make everything possible to help you make their stay at yours easier for you. If they are there just for the free accommodation and do not give a hoot about the needs of your household they are just CF who should not be allowed into your home.

BillyBraggisnotmylover · 09/06/2023 11:09

Hope FOF buggers off so you and your seemingly very nice friend can have a lovely time together (talking about what a cheeky fucker she is).

So they weren’t both showering last night - CF got back in the shower after being told to get out?

MaggieFS · 09/06/2023 11:09

A good text and a good response. Hopefully it will do the trick but I imagine she'll have a huff.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 09/06/2023 11:10

An hour for a shower, each!? I’m in and out within ten minutes.
I’d be having a rethink on anyone staying over to be honest.

Achwheesht · 09/06/2023 11:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

OhComeOnFFS · 09/06/2023 11:13

I think I'd reply "Oh if she has a cousin here that's much better. Great result!"

Achwheesht · 09/06/2023 11:13

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
houseguesthair · 09/06/2023 11:15

@BillyBraggisnotmylover I'm not sure - but I think thats what happened ... actual friend has stayed here enough times in the past (and me with her at hers) to know that she normally showers in the morning and just has a quick rinse off in the evening.

I've replied to friend that we should have wine this evening.

So, , I'm going to wait for them to get back and have a glass of wine and chat with actual friend this evening. I feel a bit shitty for her because I know that friend of hers is a new friend and she has excitingly mentioned her a few times and she was looking forward to showing her this city as a proper girls break after splitting with her boyfriend.

OP posts:
MavisMcMinty · 09/06/2023 11:15

Who TF washes and blowdries their hair before going to bed?!?!? YANBU.

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