AIBU unreasonable to ask houseguest not to use the hairdryer at 1.30 am?

[houseguesthair]

I have a friend staying in my flat with her friend. Haven't seen them much as they're out visiting during the day till late and I'm at work during the day. It's a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms.

Friend and her friend got back late last night and took long showers around midnight - I don't have an issue with that but wouldn't have done it at someone else's house if I thought they could hear and knew they were working the next day.

I then heard what I thought was the hairdryer about an hour later, I waited 10 minutes and it was still going so I got up and told friend of friend who was giving herself a bona fida blow dry in the bathroom next to my bedroom that it was too late to be using the hairdryer and that it was too loud for me and for the neighbors as she also had the window open. She grudgingly stopped and turned it off.

This morning I asked her while I was making coffee if she had slept well, she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

WIBU to ask her to turn the hairdryer off at 1.30 am? She seemed really pissed off with me this morning - even though I'm putting them up for free in a very expensive city for 5 days...

Have you seen much of your friend & if not does it bother you?

Can't imagine staying with a friend & being out so long that they are long in bed by the time I get in.

If I were you, I would say you have had a complaint from the neighbours and it is the second time. "They are real pains, you know, but they are complaining to the landlord/police..." Maybe even say they are Germans or Swiss, where if you even tiptoe around your neighbouring flat after 10 pm, the cops are at your door at 10:10 pm...

What a nerve! I hate inconsiderate people.

I forgot to add, OP, that I loved this line "a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms"!

I agree with a PP that it's good to have a shower after travelling/city visiting. But half an hour? And at midnight without checking earlier with host? Presumably a ten minute shower would have done (without washing hair which could be done in the morning). All done by 1230 leaving OP with 6.5 hours sleep before another long day in the office.

@Lenor @RockGirl Here we tend to give a token gift on arrival... and then normally a departure gift too but I'm not the UK - the rule here is pretty much don't turn up empty handed - but the gift on arrival can be anything, even just fresh bread from the bakery ... most people stick with a bottle of wine even if it's just picked up at the shops downstairs.

@diddl I haven't yet because it's been week time and I'm working (have spent far too long on mumsnet today though.). I plan to see her in the weekend though.

Still no news from moody CF friend of friend. Another mutual local friend is going to come round for drinks with lovely friend - we plan to dilute the cheeky fuckiness present.

@Budikka I meant compact! it's three bedrooms but all the rooms are small - it's 67m2 in all so everything is very stuck together with a tiny corridor.

This would be my solution too

You and your poor friend!

Op yanbu, they were inconsiderate BUT sometimes that happens, you get back and you make noise! You are overdramatic about all of this- if you asked nicely but said obviously finish up (as they were getting into bed so wet hair wouldn’t be great) it would have been fine but banning someone or kicking them out then ranting in a message- they’re staying a few nights, it wasn’t going to happen nightly and even if it did it’s a few nights! People are getting ridiculously carried away and am sure most people have done worse at 1.30 away from home!!😅

I'm just unashamedly marking place for the evening update 😁

Good on you. If she doesnt want wet hair, she waits until the morning to shower or comes back at a reasonable time to do it.

I think you are brilliant OP, totally handling with aplomb. Hope CFF bucks up her ideas and doesn’t ruin the weekend for your nice friend

you sound lovely and generous and a fun friend.

It's a shame your FofF is such a misery and CF but hopefully she'll get the memo about being a good guest now and in future and you won't have to put up with her again.

@stayathomer Iits not that she made noise - its that she knows she woke me up blow drying her hair - I do not know this woman, I am putting her up as a favor. I did ask her nicely, and then I was nice again this morning.

She made enough noise to keep me up. I asked her politely to stop - as I said don't mind the shower but hairdryer at past 1 am for over 10 minutes in an otherwise silent flat is just taking the piss. Had it have been a mistake on her part, had she not realized the amount of noise, okay, no harm done. But her reaction this morning when I trying to be nice asked if she had slept well was unpleasant. It's my home. She knows she stopped me sleeping and she has the nerve to act as if I'm the unreasonable party ... Had she not have been unpleasant I'd have forgotten about it. I'm putting her up for free, will be washing her sheets etc.

I wonder if you're an inconsiderate house guest too

I think you're handling it brilliantly. If FoF kicks off again tonight/doesn't behave then I'd definitely be asking her to leave. I'd word it that "I think FoF would feel more comfortable in a hotel and I am unable to continue hosting her here." That way you're being very polite and also very clear.

I think most people would give a friend the benefit of the doubt that they wouldn't be rude in another friends house - it's not really fair to the friend that some people are expecting her to have vetted someone before this trip.

On the shower point, it would have been minging to be out in the city all day and then get into bed without showering. I understand some people do this but I think it's gross, especially if they're then getting into my guest bed!

Don’t you wash the bedding after guest has left?

I wonder if you're an inconsiderate house guest too
lovely finish. Thanks op.😅

Ps I was about to agree with you😅

Ain't nothing 'over dramatic' about being pissed off by a stranger in one's own home interrupting your sleep. I'd be well pissed off. Sleep is important.

After calling OP "overdramatic" I would not be as nice to you in my finish as OP was....

Why on earth would she want to wash and dry her hair that time of night I don't know, she's a snotty cow. Let us know how it goes x

Bloody hell- You are NOT a hotel!
What a cheek
Give them the elbow, OP!

I know! As the inhabitant of a small (1 bedroom) city flat I was a little

OP I hope you have a peaceful night/weekend.

Kick them out OP! Rude cheeky twats they are. This is insanely rude!!