AIBU unreasonable to ask houseguest not to use the hairdryer at 1.30 am?

[houseguesthair]

I have a friend staying in my flat with her friend. Haven't seen them much as they're out visiting during the day till late and I'm at work during the day. It's a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms.

Friend and her friend got back late last night and took long showers around midnight - I don't have an issue with that but wouldn't have done it at someone else's house if I thought they could hear and knew they were working the next day.

I then heard what I thought was the hairdryer about an hour later, I waited 10 minutes and it was still going so I got up and told friend of friend who was giving herself a bona fida blow dry in the bathroom next to my bedroom that it was too late to be using the hairdryer and that it was too loud for me and for the neighbors as she also had the window open. She grudgingly stopped and turned it off.

This morning I asked her while I was making coffee if she had slept well, she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

WIBU to ask her to turn the hairdryer off at 1.30 am? She seemed really pissed off with me this morning - even though I'm putting them up for free in a very expensive city for 5 days...

It's quite simple: No wine, no bed. How rude!

That was a good read.

Some people seem to seethe with jealousy out of every pore. It's kind of sad in a way, but very unpleasant to endure.

I just knew it would be Paris. Lived there for yonks and also had the stream of both wonderful guests and the odd vv CF who had batshit crazy entitled whackjob ideas that you were essentially their ATM ('oh, the airport cashpoint was out of service, could you just pay the taxi, no euros, I'll see you right tomorrow...') tour guide/tour booker/museum sherpa/grocery personal shopper/bringer of hot water and champagne and who would always - ALWAYS - leave having 'liberated' your euro plug adapters FFS.

And who had no boundaries about noise so would come lurching in at 3am shouting incoherently that they were the only person in the world who had found this absolutely gen-u-ine little absinthe place (mentioned in Lonely Planet), and failed to understand that your gardienne would be lurking downstairs in the morning to ambush you with a very pained expression having had a hatfull of complaints from all around the echoey courtyard.

You did so well to hustle her out when you did. She sounds more vile than most.

Oh well done for getting rid of her - hopefully Lovely Friend will realise that she's been taken for a mug, whilst she has the support of real friends, and won't feel too bad.

Even more hopefully, Cheeky Fuckers Cousin will go apeshit at her and kick her out soon and no one will evvvvvvver have to see her again :D

i love the way you handled this. You are an inspiration to me. I’ve not had a house guest this bad. If I did, I would not have been as kind as you were with the CF. I would most likely have been very assertive, telling her to turn off that hair dryer. :-). I’m so glad you and your friend were able to ditch her and enjoy the rest of her stay.

@houseguesthair does your lovely friend have to travel back with CFF? Has she heard from her today?
It's sad when some people have no clue how to behave like reasonable adults. Glad you're not having to put up with any more shit 🌺

I put up a friend from Uni and a friend of hers when I lived in Paris and I was in a studio and worked all day. We were students at the time. They both ended up being CFs and even stole money from me which was my next months rent and miraculously had enough to go to Disneyland Paris when they were both skint. I never really spoke to her again and blanked the other girl. I’ve met many piss takers over the years. I’ve gotten better at telling them to sod off (I’m 50 now) but there are still many out there who are surprisingly entitled!

That sounds like a list of non event grievances. You handled the situation well and were still kind to the woman even after her terrible behaviour. I hope your friend doesn’t have issues with her back home when she continues the hobby.

I'm sure then your geared up for heat with Aircon buildings and transport....we are not were still running tube trains from the 80s no Aircon down there, no Aircon on our overcrowded systems bus or tube. Most shops don't have it and few offices. Home is lucky to have a fan....we were in coats and jumpers 2 weeks ago putting our heat on in the evening it's 31 in London today was 19 last week.

@friskybivalves c'est tout a fait ça! and if I piss off the concierge I'll spend the foreseeable future wasting every Saturday morning queuing to pick up my parcels at the post office and will be obligated to have houseguests all summer when I'm away so they can water my plants because she won't as I'll be on the naughty list ... those who know ...

Anyway, we're about to head out for supper. I don't think I'll update again. CFF is gone - and I wish her no evil and hope she manages to find something to enjoy here, it must be a hard life when you can't control your behavior enough to not piss people off and then have to pay the price. Very happy she is gone though.

A bit sad to realize how lonely lovely friend has been since her divorce, talking she said she'd seen some little red flags but was so desperate for a friend that she'd hung on, one of the people we're having supper with has a brother in Amsterdam ( I've given up on remaining vague, but just for good measure, fuck off daily mail) where she lives so we'll see if we can set her up to meet him and his wife.

This thread has shocked me by how reticent many people seem to be to the idea of having frequent house guests, I guess its just a way of living and in general the good far outweighs the bad.

I don't think I'll update again.

Thanks all for your input, and esp to those who persuaded me not to directly "threaten" to throw out lovely friend - that would have been acting out of anger and the wrong thing to do.

And for clarity as it seems to have been a sticking point - I give absolutely 0 fucks about if, when, how and how long for people shower in their own homes if they are paying the hot water bill - I give zero fucks if someone takes 5 quick showers a day if they feel they need it to cool down/freshen up. I just don't care for people taking hour long showers at midnight when I can hear the shower and when they don't know what the capacity or the schedule of the boiler is and if there will be enough hot water 6 hours later for multiple people to shower.

Hide the hairdryer!!

Hi OP

You and lovely friend sound awesome! Hope you had a great weekend

Hairdrying at 1am wouldn't be acceptable in a large house, or flat or id probably feel guilty in a hotel room . She sounds like she's lived in a cave all her life

Lol

Yes! This^
Hide the hairdryer OP so that CFF won't be able to dry her hair last Thursday night. You know it makes sense!

Agreed.

If, as pp said, I needed to 'wash off the dirt of the city' after returning home late as a guest, I'd just have a 'whore's bath' at the bathroom sink with a flannel.

Some people with hayfever have to rinse their hair at night, but that can also be done in a basin. Depending on what type of hair you have, dry with a towel then put it into a braid to blow-dry in the morning.

Two times having the sink filled and emptied is less disruptive than a shower.

My dad always said champagne taste and lemonade wages 😂

This sounds perfect to me!

You have welcomed your friend and her friend to your home for 5 nights. Their behaviour is unacceptable and you are being taken advantage of. With polite resolution state you are unhappy with the situation and tell them to leave. It is so disrespectful . Lesson needed…

How bloody unreasonable, selfish and downright rude is she?! You are absolutely right to expect a hell of a lot better than that. Particularly as you are kind enough to let them stay for free, she should be doing all she can to express gratefulness.

Surprised the friend didn’t say anything to her, I certainly would have done if my friend turned the hairdryer on at that time and somebody was sleeping in the next room! Tell her to go to a hotel, instead of an apology she gave you attitude, you don’t do that to someone who is putting you up for free

Agree, i would have needed a shower too but maybe she could have done her hair in the morning instead … not at 1.30am.

FWIW... OP you sound lovely as do your friends except CFF ofc... enjoy the rest of the weekend,

P.S having house guests is quite normal. My brother and his friends pretty much spend their summers country hopping through Europe and stay at the homes of parents and relatives. If empty, they leave a bottle of something nice for when the owners return and if occupied, they cook and host a night. You weren't wrong to be annoyed.

Totally agree. Lived in London for 30 years, now live rurally, water the same colour now when I shower as it was when living in London. Never ever experienced ‘black snot’ 😂 either, utter nonsense!

Sounds like you dealt with it admirably I'm sure you'll now be enjoying a lovely weekend with your real long standing friend and your local friend

Regarding city heat and dust, dh and I had a city break about 20 years ago to Paris, during one of their killer heatwaves. Even the RER in from CDG resulted in my skirt being wringing wet with sweat. I remember walking down the streets crisscrossing from side to side to stay in the shade. We're Scottish. We don't do that We usually positively seek sun out as we are starved of it