AIBU unreasonable to ask houseguest not to use the hairdryer at 1.30 am?

[houseguesthair]

I have a friend staying in my flat with her friend. Haven't seen them much as they're out visiting during the day till late and I'm at work during the day. It's a smallish city flat - 3 bedrooms.

Friend and her friend got back late last night and took long showers around midnight - I don't have an issue with that but wouldn't have done it at someone else's house if I thought they could hear and knew they were working the next day.

I then heard what I thought was the hairdryer about an hour later, I waited 10 minutes and it was still going so I got up and told friend of friend who was giving herself a bona fida blow dry in the bathroom next to my bedroom that it was too late to be using the hairdryer and that it was too loud for me and for the neighbors as she also had the window open. She grudgingly stopped and turned it off.

This morning I asked her while I was making coffee if she had slept well, she replied no in a really passive agressive way that she hadn't slept well because she had wet hair and had gotten bitten by mosquitos.

WIBU to ask her to turn the hairdryer off at 1.30 am? She seemed really pissed off with me this morning - even though I'm putting them up for free in a very expensive city for 5 days...

Regarding the "prospective one-night stand meeting the love of your life" - surely that world apply to ask the other times you and lovely friend have hosted each other's friends in trips? Don't feel guilty about that.

surely that would apply to all the other times you and lovely friend have hosted each other's friends on trips?

@Maxaluna im not sure actually, other times she’s always come more with acquaintances then actual friends - I know that probably sounds weird but we’re a pretty easy going bunch and she’s in academia so the stipend they get to spend for conferences in my city gets them a horrible hotel in the suburbs and therefore I always offer to put her up - so she’s often come with collègues etc … never with a supposedly close friend if that makes sense …

Sounds like new friend has mental health issues that lovely friend wasn't aware of - but cousin clearly was. I could imagine for example my bipolar sister acting exactly the same way new friend did. Sounds like you all handled everything very kindly and sensitively. Thanks for the updates.

Nah, I don't buy that explanation. I have been on trips with friends to visit their friends and of course sometimes they are closer to that person than they are to me. I think people who get jealous because of that are either secretly in love with the person, or someone who sees friends as personal belongings, rather than autonomous individuals.

Good grief, she certainly has issues. I wouldn’t feel too bad about it or apologise/justify her behaviour, she was rude to boot but thankfully she is gone and now you can enjoy a nice catch up with your friends.

Dear X whilst I'm happy to have you here I wasn't happy to be woken at 12 then kept awake by a hairdryer at 1.30 especially as you knew I had work this morning. Your friend was verging on rude this morning....or hung over please can you have a word and ensure it doesn't happen again.

OMG
YADNBU

She is a VERY cheeky mare.

Yanbu. Ask the CF to leave. Rude with a hairdryer at 1.30am.

@jannier Please RTFT You're hours and hours and many updates late.

@londonrach Please RTFT!! There have been many updates and hours since.

Am I the only other person hoping cff's cousin kicks her entitled arse out?!!!

Have you read the thread? 😂😂😂

Do you go on London Transport when it's hotter than 22 degrees

I live in a place where it can get to 37 degrees. 22 degrees is winter here.

Wow I'd have put some music or TV on and banged some pans

You've got to have some issues to think that 'knowing' someone for less than 2 days is on the same level as a 15y friendship. OP, thank you for updating us. Look forward to hearing how she lovebombed your friend.

To those suggesting possible mental illness or issues, some people are just plain rude and entitled! I've worked for/with people who think the world revolves around them, and this is the kind of behaviour I would expect from them - no mental illness, just an over-inflated sense of their importance and entitlement, coupled with no consideration for others.

Clearly the cousin knows CFF can be rude from his comment.

I think the OP's (real) friend should be thankful for a lucky escape early on in the friendship!

Maybe, @Allergictoironing . None of us will ever know whether it's mental illness or just CFery. Either is entirely possible.

My dad had guests like that whi stayed for weeks in his house.they asked where there is a takeaway and off they went they never asked my dad if he wanted anything.
They never paid a penny towards their keep and came and went all times of the day.badcially they were taking advantage of him.
Get Rid of your lodger they are ungrateful especially as they pay no rent or money to you.
People are so ungrateful these days while people go work and struggle to pay bills and rent.
Disgusting

Even having a shower at that time of night when people are in bed and can hear is quite anti social. Don't invite them again Cf.

I sleep every time I wash my hair with it wet and never had a problem or been bitten by mosquitoes. She Sounds like a selfish person to me!

I’m with you on that this one. We’ll hit at least 39° in a few days, and most people will still only shower once a day (regardless of their activities and means of transportation).

OP, so glad you have this sorted. We have a large home, but hairdryers are loud and I still would likely have woken to one being used in our second bath. The attitude the next morning was just too much!

That’s so rude while staying with someone else. I’d feel I should ask before using the shower at that time of night in case it’s one that causes noises in the pipes and disturbs the rest of the household, and I wouldn’t even contemplate washing my hair, it would literally be a quick “from the neck down (but washing my face too) wash the city grime off“ kind of shower and I’d have done my hair in the morning.

I think you already know this but you are 100% right! How bloody rude!! People like this need to be told they are out of order and reap the consequences, otherwise they just go through life ruining everyone else’s day! Good luck, and remember- you’re in the right here!