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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To like some acknowledgment that walking everywhere is bloody exhausting!

301 replies

squashedalmondcroissant · 09/06/2023 08:53

Not really an AIBU but I have PMT and need a little handhold (lighthearted 😂).

I don't drive but I am fortunate that I only live a 30 minute walk from work. This is also the main town centre so all the shops/facilities that I would need are there. If I need anything or want to do anything, this is where I need to go.

That's all fine but I would just like some sort of acknowledgment or recognition from the people in my life that walking everywhere (and I do mean everywhere) is really really tiring and hard work! The part of the country I live in is widely acknowledged as being not very good with public transport so virtually everyone has a car and drives everywhere even if they don't need to. So it's very hard to get people to comprehend that if I want to do an activity or get something I need to a) walk to and from the place and b) carry any equipment I need with me or carry it home with me. It's bloody hard work! I have a massive backpack that I carry everywhere in case I need something from the shop while I'm out.

I don't complain about this IRL as I know it's just the way things are but it's just hard sometimes when no one around me 'gets it'.

For example, yesterday I walked DDog for around an hour, then walked to work, walked around at work (job is fairly physical with almost the whole time on my feet and lots of lifting boxes), then walked home. Today will be much the same. Some days I'm exhausted before I even get to work!

Aibu to want just a tiny grain of recognition that this is hard?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 09/06/2023 08:54

Get a bike ?

Comedycook · 09/06/2023 08:56

It is and it takes soooo much time. For about a year we didn't have a car and walking to and from supermarket to get a few bits would take all morning virtually. Now with a car I can get it done in twenty minutes. I was much slimmer and fitter but it took so much time to do everything

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/06/2023 08:56

Acknowledgement or lifts?

Evaka · 09/06/2023 08:57

Can you buy a second hand cargo bike?

KateyCuckoo · 09/06/2023 08:58

I assumed people who walked everywhere did it for the moral superiority anyway?

Nordicrain · 09/06/2023 08:59

I am not sure what acknoweldgement you expect. Yes, it sounds tiring. But people do lots of things that are tiring - working stressful jobs, having young kids, looking after relatives, etc.

In the mean time, if this isn't working for you is there anything you could do? a bike? a lift? a dog walker?

rightioly · 09/06/2023 08:59

Depends why you don't drive really. If you just can't be arsed then yabu if there's a decent reason then yanbu. I don't drive for medical reasons so yes a bit of understanding that I can't always just get somewhere when I want to would be helpful at times but it's not normally an issue. Thinks like taxis being rare at certain times of day etc.

Lottapianos · 09/06/2023 09:00

I used to walk everywhere, and yes it can be tiring and time consuming. I drove home from work yesterday and popped into Tesco to get a few bits on the way. It took me 3 minutes to drive it home instead of a 25 minute walk. I often choose to walk and am by no means wedded to my car but my god it's nice to have the option

So I get you OP

EmmaEmerald · 09/06/2023 09:00

KateyCuckoo · 09/06/2023 08:58

I assumed people who walked everywhere did it for the moral superiority anyway?

.???
I can't drive anymore for health reasons.

I don't carry a backpack etc.

OP I don't really get what you want. But having a physical job must be really hard. Maybe you need to replan how you do certain things.

I hate not driving and I really miss it but I don't expect masses of sympathy, just "aww" from people who understand.

MyFavouriteKindOfBalloon · 09/06/2023 09:01

Cycle or learn to drive. What do you expect, a round of applause when you arrive somewhere because you walked?

BishyBarnyBee · 09/06/2023 09:02

It's a bit of a weird one - you've chosen to live where you do, to not drive, to do a physical job and to have a dog. As a result, you have to walk a lot and are massively fitter than people who drive to a sedentary job. You also get tired. I can't see what anyone else has to do with it really - your choices, your energy levels.
You don't mention kids, so unless you have some back story which means you absolutely have to live where you are and do the job you do, I think you are a bit unreasonable actually. No-one but you has forced you to live the life you lead. If you don't like it, only you can change it.

Otarge · 09/06/2023 09:04

Do you really want acknowledgement or are you expressing frustration? I wonder if you'd rather things were different and if you've given any thought as to how you can change your situation?

What's really going on with you, OP?

RichTeee · 09/06/2023 09:04

No you are right. I didn't drive for 10 years due to epilepsy and it takes ages to get anywhere whether by walking locally or by (shit) public transport.

I never asked anyone for a lift but it was annoying when making plans and no thought was given to me who would have to take at least an hour long journey to cover 10 miles plus a good 45 min walk to get to stations or stops. So plans were made for early morning etc so I'd be leaving at 7am to meet for "brunch"

Plus there is a weird feeling of being trapped in your own area, I know I felt it. But it's hard to explain to those who haven't experienced it or live with good public transport.

I was advised not to cycle due to the frequency of my seizures so that took that option out for me.

So, in all, yes OP I get you

Whataretheodds · 09/06/2023 09:05

KateyCuckoo · 09/06/2023 08:58

I assumed people who walked everywhere did it for the moral superiority anyway?

Don't be a knob.

OP, I live in London where it's expensive to run a car and difficult and expensive to park it so we don't have one. Whenever I have visitors they are astonished at how much walking we do as standard.

Agree a bike would save you some time and energy.

Theunamedcat · 09/06/2023 09:05

I get it I couldn't drive until I was in my 40s it was hellish trying to get things done especially when the school didn't understand why an appointment that should only take an hour or so would take half a day! There is a HUGE difference between getting in a car and driving directly to the hospital and catching three buses or two buses and a train that definitely don't go directly to the hospital they were honestly like three year olds "but whyyyyy" and "can't you get a lift" no everyone else is at work "but whyyyyy" 🙇‍♀️

OfficerPastiche · 09/06/2023 09:05

I take ' don't drive' to mean you could but choose not to. As oppose to 'can't' which means you can't. I know other people mangle the language but I don't so on that basis YABU.
Even without driving you could still bike... And you don't need a massive backpack for groceries, get delivery.
If a house in the heart of the Northumberland countryside has deliveries and Amazon so should you ..

Overthebow · 09/06/2023 09:05

I’m sure it is exhausting but why do you need acknowledgment from others? If you know it’s exhausting for you then surely that’s fine?

HidingInAForest · 09/06/2023 09:07

Have you thought about an ebike?

You will be so much fitter your body will thank you for it. I can't walk far at all at the moment and wish I could!

herecomesthefun · 09/06/2023 09:07

What an odd post.

I didn't learn to drive until I was 30 and had moved to somewhere where a car was necessary.

Before that I lived in Brighton and walked everywhere. My house was up a massive hill (typical for Brighton).

I didn't feel I needed special head pats for the way I lived my life. Why do you?

MrsRandom123 · 09/06/2023 09:07

why would anyone acknowledge your personal choice? If walking is such hard work buy a bike or learn to drive. If you love walking then it’s irrelevant it’s “hard work” 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
squashedalmondcroissant · 09/06/2023 09:08

BishyBarnyBee · 09/06/2023 09:02

It's a bit of a weird one - you've chosen to live where you do, to not drive, to do a physical job and to have a dog. As a result, you have to walk a lot and are massively fitter than people who drive to a sedentary job. You also get tired. I can't see what anyone else has to do with it really - your choices, your energy levels.
You don't mention kids, so unless you have some back story which means you absolutely have to live where you are and do the job you do, I think you are a bit unreasonable actually. No-one but you has forced you to live the life you lead. If you don't like it, only you can change it.

I moved in with DP so I didn't choose to live where I live or to have a dog (DDog is his but I help out a lot due to his work shifts and it just being the decent and reasonable thing to do).

The job I have is the only one I could get with a decent contract and pay in a highly seasonal town where winter jobs are rare.

I don't drive (yet) due to cost as I'm paying back debts which I will have done by the end of the year. After that I very much plan to start learning even though we have no parking space for a second car but we will has to make do. Not driving is extremely limiting in this part of the country so I'll have to work it out.

I would loooove a bike but we have no where to store one at the moment. There is no space inside and the tiny shed in the garden isn't big enough and is using for gardening stuff. I'm looking for a second hand folding one though! Fingers crossed 😁

OP posts:
Purslanepurses · 09/06/2023 09:08

It’s definitely hard op; especially when carrying stuff for work or carrying bags of shopping and especially in extremes of weather either hot or cold.

So well done! Your body will thank you for it when you are in your late fifties and early sixties.

rightioly · 09/06/2023 09:09

RichTeee · 09/06/2023 09:04

No you are right. I didn't drive for 10 years due to epilepsy and it takes ages to get anywhere whether by walking locally or by (shit) public transport.

I never asked anyone for a lift but it was annoying when making plans and no thought was given to me who would have to take at least an hour long journey to cover 10 miles plus a good 45 min walk to get to stations or stops. So plans were made for early morning etc so I'd be leaving at 7am to meet for "brunch"

Plus there is a weird feeling of being trapped in your own area, I know I felt it. But it's hard to explain to those who haven't experienced it or live with good public transport.

I was advised not to cycle due to the frequency of my seizures so that took that option out for me.

So, in all, yes OP I get you

Yes this! And when you do speak up its like can you not just get a lift/taxi. And it's not always as easy as that.

GoneAwayWorld · 09/06/2023 09:11

KateyCuckoo · 09/06/2023 08:58

I assumed people who walked everywhere did it for the moral superiority anyway?

Not at all. Or at least not in all cases. I don't drive but it's due to a massive and ridiculous phobia of doing it.

lieselotte · 09/06/2023 09:11

Get roller skates or a scooter if you can't accommodate a bike at home. Or a second garden shed. In fact you can buy garden sheds that are designed for bikes.

Walking is so good for you - as an OP said, you will be happy about this when you are older.