To like some acknowledgment that walking everywhere is bloody exhausting!

[squashedalmondcroissant]

Not really an AIBU but I have PMT and need a little handhold (lighthearted 😂).

I don't drive but I am fortunate that I only live a 30 minute walk from work. This is also the main town centre so all the shops/facilities that I would need are there. If I need anything or want to do anything, this is where I need to go.

That's all fine but I would just like some sort of acknowledgment or recognition from the people in my life that walking everywhere (and I do mean everywhere) is really really tiring and hard work! The part of the country I live in is widely acknowledged as being not very good with public transport so virtually everyone has a car and drives everywhere even if they don't need to. So it's very hard to get people to comprehend that if I want to do an activity or get something I need to a) walk to and from the place and b) carry any equipment I need with me or carry it home with me. It's bloody hard work! I have a massive backpack that I carry everywhere in case I need something from the shop while I'm out.

I don't complain about this IRL as I know it's just the way things are but it's just hard sometimes when no one around me 'gets it'.

For example, yesterday I walked DDog for around an hour, then walked to work, walked around at work (job is fairly physical with almost the whole time on my feet and lots of lifting boxes), then walked home. Today will be much the same. Some days I'm exhausted before I even get to work!

Aibu to want just a tiny grain of recognition that this is hard?

@Sissynova where did I say I wanted fawning? I don't! I don't expect a parade, or even sympathy, just a modicum of recognition that things are more difficult and limited for me. I was asked to pick up stock from another store yesterday - not going to happen!

@LindorDoubleChoc I am scoring FB marketplace at the moment for a suitable option 😂 Would make things so much easier. I've even got myself a bike helmet already!

You have my utmost sympathy.
Driving through Africa some time ago, I never forgot seeing women making their way before sunrise to draw water from the nearest source, often walking for mile upon mile, then having to carry the buckets back on their heads, weighing around 15kg, just so there was water for their breakfasts and morning ablutions. The sheer exhaustion, and that before the day had even officially begun!

Now living in south Asia and, again, the sheer effort involved, just to survive is something I can't even comprehend. It's seeing several people on just one rickety old bicycle that really brings it home. The leap in status to be able to buy an old motorbike for $50 must be life changing.

You could get a bike too maybe, it's one rung up from beggars here.

I was in my 30s before I learned to drive and had my DC, dogs etc before driving meaning I know full well what it’s like to walk and use buses and trains.

Now I have a car and I can drive it but most of the time I choose to walk anyway. I walk to work rain or shine (also in a physical role). I walk the school run. I walk the dog every evening and at weekends I walk and run for pleasure. The only times I’ve had the car out in the last week I’ve regretted it each time as the traffic is shit, parking it somewhere is an extra headache I don’t need and often results in parking miles from where I need to go anyway. I can’t drive places directly as you would walk there because obviously you can’t use the public footpaths and underpasses or the nice route through the woods or along the canal. No, you have to drive three miles out of your way down the concrete jungle A road just to get across the river, or round the clogged motorway junctions. It frequently is quicker and easier to walk and it is certainly cheaper. It’s also far nicer.

For an alternate perspective.

I did the same for years so I know how exhausting it can be . Then I actually got a car . I suggest you do the same

You must have cracking legs OP

My colleague was actually admiring my calves recently 😂

Why do you need to talk to your partner about getting a bike? Does he run a bike shop? Or do you need his permission?

Get a bike cover and lock the bike to anything immovable in your garden if your garden isn't secure. E.g. a long cable lock to a drainpipe.

I can’t drive due to disability, it’s impossible for me, so obviously I have to walk everywhere or get the bus, and the buses are crap. It’s not so much that walking exhaust me, it’s the extra time it takes, having to lug heavy stuff around all the time, not being able to do one big shop so I end up spending more on little top ups, needing a wee halfway, having to negotiate busy main roads, everybody else just assuming popping to this place is easy when it’s not.

and no, I can’t get a bike. My disability means I most definitely can’t cycle.

Homebase, Jewson, and Asda (seasonally) do big compost bag delivery.

@Funkyblues101 that certainly does put things in perspective. Not the same at all but when we were in lockdown I was living in a place in the middle of nowhere as it was the only place I could afford. It was a 7 mile walk to the shop and back so obviously I carried as much as I possibly could on those trips. It was such hard work and I'm actually super super grateful that I am where I am now. I know I'm really privileged to be where I am and have what I have even though I still get a bit stroppy from time to time 😊

<snorts out coffee>

I must say it wouldn't occur to me that walking everywhere would be tiring enough to need an acknowledgement. I'd probably offer a lift though if it was bad weather.

Whose idea was it to move? If it was your DP's and he drives why isn't he doing all the collecting shitwork?
I wouldn't have moved if it meant walking everywhere and giving up my independence. As it turns out DH is the non-driver but he pays for taxis/deliveries etc

But surely that’s entirely your choice. There are loads of options if you don’t want to do it - bike, push scooter, coordinate some of your trips so you can get public transport, take a taxi now and again. As a pp is doing, get onto FB marketplace. There are loads of bikes available, and panniers, baskets, helmets - anything you want. It takes 45 minutes to walk to my work. It takes 16 on the bike - and 12 back as it’s mostly down hill 😁

Also OP before I could drive I also walked everywhere... Get one of those shopping tollies on wheels it's a lot easier

“I think it's just the fact that no one I know is in even a remotely similar position to me”

OP, it’s hard when people don’t understand but it’ll do you so much good to let go of let go of the need for people to ‘get it’. I’ve had to work hard at this because very few are in my position (widowed young, bringing DC up alone inc. one with ND).

I do drive but also hit 20k steps a day most days and yes, think of our fantastic legs!

This is a DP problem!

Why did you move in with him?

You should have jointly moved somewhere more convenient.

Stop walking his dog for him.

He sounds like he's using you.

Surely you are saving money by cohabiting? Use that money for driving lessons.

🤷🏼‍♀️ I walk 10 miles a day and live in a hilly place. I get compost and use a trolley to transport it. Get a grip. Acknowledgment indeed 🙄

@heartofglass23 exactly.
Unless he's not charging her anything but I bet he is! Full whack 50/50 for somewhere that costs her more to live due to needing to drive.

I walk and bike everywhere. Central London. Helps me to keep my weight down. Don't need acknowledgement. I like it.

I do have cracking legs. The moral superiority is just icing!

Your DP drives but you are carrying shopping home, when he tells you the dog needs two long walks you jump to it and he can't even pick up large bulky and heavy items such as compost (Wickes deliver btw). Sounds like your partner could make your life significantly easier but chooses not to for some reason.

I had a long period without a car so walked or cycled everywhere, I worked 12 hour shifts where I was on my feet all day but I was as fit as a butchers dog and had never felt so fit and healthy. I sometimes think about getting rid of my car again because I walk everywhere in my small town but it is much more convenient for longer journeys.

I moved in with him because I love him and wanted to live with him.

He owns his house and I rented in the middle of nowhere so I would have been stupid to go anywhere else.

I'm not going to refuse to walk his dog. We live in the same house and shares chores and responsibilities, the dog is part of that. I don't do all the walks all the time, and some days are easier that others!

I've already explained why I don't/can't drive at the moment. It's not forever (hopefully).

Yes it’s tiring and can be boring that’s why I learnt to drive. Don’t get me wrong I love walking but I also love the fact I can hop in my car and be the sea in 20 minutes and go walking there. I wouldn’t want a life where I had to walk to get anywhere and felt trapped in my town due to it.

I don't expect a parade, or even sympathy, just a modicum of recognition that things are more difficult and limited for me. I was asked to pick up stock from another store yesterday - not going to happen!

You keep saying people though... but do you just mean your partner?
Presumably your partner asked you to pick up different stock? Does he drive?
If not surely he already knows what its like to pick up shopping and walk home?
If he drives why can't he give you a lift or do it himself?

Why aren't you ordering online??