To like some acknowledgment that walking everywhere is bloody exhausting!

[squashedalmondcroissant]

Not really an AIBU but I have PMT and need a little handhold (lighthearted 😂).

I don't drive but I am fortunate that I only live a 30 minute walk from work. This is also the main town centre so all the shops/facilities that I would need are there. If I need anything or want to do anything, this is where I need to go.

That's all fine but I would just like some sort of acknowledgment or recognition from the people in my life that walking everywhere (and I do mean everywhere) is really really tiring and hard work! The part of the country I live in is widely acknowledged as being not very good with public transport so virtually everyone has a car and drives everywhere even if they don't need to. So it's very hard to get people to comprehend that if I want to do an activity or get something I need to a) walk to and from the place and b) carry any equipment I need with me or carry it home with me. It's bloody hard work! I have a massive backpack that I carry everywhere in case I need something from the shop while I'm out.

I don't complain about this IRL as I know it's just the way things are but it's just hard sometimes when no one around me 'gets it'.

For example, yesterday I walked DDog for around an hour, then walked to work, walked around at work (job is fairly physical with almost the whole time on my feet and lots of lifting boxes), then walked home. Today will be much the same. Some days I'm exhausted before I even get to work!

Aibu to want just a tiny grain of recognition that this is hard?

frankly I feel privilged to be in a country which has walkable roads. Most countries are not pedestrian friendly.

Ignore the car-obsessed, Op. I absolutely get it, and I am well proud of my daily 20k+ step count on work days, but it is tiring. You've earned the right to moan.

You mean work asked you to pick up stock from another store?

Is there a reason your partner can't give you driving lessons in his car ?

Good for you but living in central London is vastly different by the sound of it to what op is experiencing. For a start there are food outlets everywhere and you can hop on and off buses and the tube.

Dp does drive but he works odd shifts that can be really late or really early so he isn't always around when we need things. We try to do at least one big shop a week so we can use the car for that but it isn't always possible. He has definitely picked up compost for me before lol 😂

I can also start quite early and finish quite late depending on shifts so he isn't often able to give me a lift. His commute takes an hour.

@EmmaEmerald yes exactly that.

None of this explains why you are carrying shopping home rather than him driving you or doing it himself.

To whom?
To the DP maybe as he's the one benefitting.
Not to anybody else.
I'm not car obsessed by a long shot, I only get it out anywhere more than 20 mins walk/carrying heavy things but I have no sympathy for self created problems.

I agree with this OP, I can't drive and also can't ride a bike so walking or public transport is my only option. I walk to work and any appointments that are mine but if we needed a bag of compost my partner would drive and get it.

It sounds like you are looking into the bike option which will be a massive help, I would also recommend doing click and collect for groceries and then your partner can pick it up in the car.

As for acknowledgement, I have found everyone I tell that I'm walking looks at me like I've just told them I have to run a marathon every time I want to pop to Tesco :p Car usage is so prevalent here compared to back in London most people can't imagine not having a car.

Agree. But I feel like the OP has some options? Or this is a temporary stage.

Generally, I think most people are too busy now with the CoL to acknowledge any effort!

Well it’s your choice for walking everywhere. I don’t see why you need acknowledgment 🤣 get yourself a bike!

It’s certainly more time consuming but not necessarily tiring I don’t think.

Walking shouldn't be too tiring if you are fit and do it a lot. We don't have a car and I walk a lot - at least 3- 4 miles a day (ok we love in London but in the inner suburbs).

Older you will thank younger you - walking a lot is great for fitness and balance. Carrying those shopping bags is also great load bearing exercise, which women need as they age.

I don't want to just yet, I'm almost 40 and admittedly very scared and nervous about learning to drive. I don't think I'll be any good at it and it'll probably take me a long time to learn. I'd rather be in a proper learning car where the instructor can take over or stop me if I'm doing anything dangerous. I'd feel terrible if I damaged dp's car! I need at least some lessons before I attempt this.

I genuinely haven't learnt so far due to cost though. It's so expensive and I've always had other things I need to prioritise but I will be able to soon.

I would loooove a bike but we have no where to store one at the moment. There is no space inside and the tiny shed in the garden isn't big enough and is using for gardening stuff.
Get an old one and keep it under a bike cover in the garden! People even give them away so worth a hunt!

YABU

These are all your own choices.

As a single parent working FT and not being able to drive I get that it’s hard not having a car.
Which is why I ended up moving somewhere with better public transport until I could afford to have lessons and drive my own car, which now thankfully I can.

You chose to move to an area where you knew the public transport was crap.

The only place you need to walk is to work and back, which is easy and most people chose to do this.

Your DP can do the other stuff like shopping or walking his dog after work which he would have had to do before you moved in.

Stop being a martyr.

I’m prepared to bet a tenner that every single unsympathetic response on this thread is from people who drive absolutely everywhere!

I hear you op. I walk 95% of the time (I’m lucky I live really close to work and live in a small city so it’s doable) but sometimes I just want to drive because, well, I’m feeling lazy, tired, it’s raining, I CBA.

I think a bike would be a good idea though.

I get it OP, I didn't have a car for years. And it really annoys me when people think everyone should drive, and its some kind of annoying moral failing when they don't. The roads are insanely busy all the time, half the people on them really shouldn't be, and we shouldn't be encouraging a situation where the only way to get about is in a car!
It is knackering walking for every little thing, and yes, very time consuming. Where is live buses are shit any time outside of 9-5, so a 10 min car journey can take well over an hour if you factor in waiting/cancelled buses, but the walk may be 45 mins up and down hills, so it does add an extra layer of grind.
Online shop and a bike are probably your best bet.

^This

I don't drive (due to crippling anxiety). I make my own way around day to day, but DH & I are a team; he wouldn't watch me struggle home on foot with a bag of compost or a big shop.
You only have so many hours & so much energy in a day - if you are walking thedog

@TooJoy I was already IN an area where the public transport is crap. In fact it was worse! The whole county is bad for it 😆

^This

I don't drive (due to crippling anxiety). I make my own way around day to day, but DH & I are a team; he wouldn't watch me struggle home on foot with a bag of compost or a big shop. I pull my weight more in other areas.

You only have so many hours & so much energy in a day - if you are walking the dog, he can go to Aldi etc.

It sounds like the person you need recognition from is your DP - and that is not unreasonable at all.

OP I hear you- I don’t drive due to finances, I can’t afford lessons or a car, nor can I ride a bike due to arthritis in my knees. Leaving an abusive marriage in my 20s with two children and no family support has meant that I have had very limited opportunity to build my career, and my life has mostly been about juggling finances. I also struggle to walk long distances for same reason (arthritis), I do walk if I need to go somewhere particular but often need a days rest after I have walked a lot ie not going too far the following day, I’m not talking bed rest).
I recently went to meet a friend in a nearby city for catch up and coffee- she was surprised that it took me almost 2 hrs to
get to her choice of meeting point from my house because of public transport- her driving the other way to my town would take about 50 mins. I volunteered to go to her not vice versa because I don’t expect her to always be the one travelling to meet up, but yes it is a faff. I don’t expect lifts but I do wish people would realise how exhausting walking is.

Definitely a bike

I assumed people who walked everywhere did it for the moral superiority anyway? I assumed people who drove everywhere were lazy bastards?

Seriously though, OP unfortunately when you don’t drive where you live needs to be a consideration. Because the truth is that public transport just isn’t the same in all parts of the country.

I don’t drive due to a disability and I live just outside of London, Town is walkable from where I live but the bus routes and trains are good and because of that I wouldn’t be looking to move even though I’d love to go and live e.g. by the sea, it just wouldn’t be practical.

Personally I think that more people should walk where possible. I totally get the need to drive to some places but the amount of driving that some people do is absolutely ridiculous. I know family members who will drive around the corner to visit someone who lives a two minute walk away. Not because they’re not capable of walking, they absolutely are, but because they’ve become so dependent on their cars that it’s all they know.

My neighbours both drive themselves to the station every morning, park their car somewhere nearby and catch the train to work, and do the same on the way home. The station is a fifteen minute walk from my house, or alternatively there is a bus every fifteen minutes. And the one neighbour at least goes running three times a week, plays football at weekends, there is absolutely no way he’s not capable of walking to the station but he’s tied to his car.

Plenty of car drivers seem to look down on people who don’t drive. They view driving as a necessary skill, and in some instances it is necessary to be able to drive, but in some instances it most definitely isn’t, and not walking anywhere isn’t anything to be proud of.