To like some acknowledgment that walking everywhere is bloody exhausting!

[squashedalmondcroissant]

Not really an AIBU but I have PMT and need a little handhold (lighthearted 😂).

I don't drive but I am fortunate that I only live a 30 minute walk from work. This is also the main town centre so all the shops/facilities that I would need are there. If I need anything or want to do anything, this is where I need to go.

That's all fine but I would just like some sort of acknowledgment or recognition from the people in my life that walking everywhere (and I do mean everywhere) is really really tiring and hard work! The part of the country I live in is widely acknowledged as being not very good with public transport so virtually everyone has a car and drives everywhere even if they don't need to. So it's very hard to get people to comprehend that if I want to do an activity or get something I need to a) walk to and from the place and b) carry any equipment I need with me or carry it home with me. It's bloody hard work! I have a massive backpack that I carry everywhere in case I need something from the shop while I'm out.

I don't complain about this IRL as I know it's just the way things are but it's just hard sometimes when no one around me 'gets it'.

For example, yesterday I walked DDog for around an hour, then walked to work, walked around at work (job is fairly physical with almost the whole time on my feet and lots of lifting boxes), then walked home. Today will be much the same. Some days I'm exhausted before I even get to work!

Aibu to want just a tiny grain of recognition that this is hard?

Is this thread a wind up? If it isn’t, OP I would work on getting some sense of agency in your own life and acknowledging that you‘re in the position you’re in because of decisions you’ve chosen to make. Truly bizarre victim mentality. I don’t drive and it is inconvenient at times, but I’m not going to whinge about it to other people because it’s a decision I have made. You must be exhausting to be around. Also your partner sounds extremely selfish, which may actually be at the root of your frustration.

I walk everywhere because

Oops.

It's a free and easy way to stay slim

It does sound tiring. What about getting a rucksack that also has wheels? I have found that helps when I have heavy stuff to transport on foot. When it's empty or has not much in it I use it as a rucksack. When full it can be pulled along.

Omg I feel you completely! I have an 8YO and a 2YO and school is a 30 minute walk so I’m spending 2 hours a day walking just to and from school pushing the buggy too up and down hills all the way, it’s exhausting! Then I barely sit down at home with a toddler plus house chores etc, get home from school about 3:45pm then start cooking at 4….basically don’t sit down until 9ish most nights. When my youngest starts school it will add an extra 1hr walking on as she will only do half days. So 3 hours of the 6 hour school day will be spent walking for me 😢. I am doing driving lessons though so hopefully will be driving by then! Can’t you use public transport on some days? Might take the weight off a bit, I can’t do that either as no bus runs up by the school where we are x

I walk as much as I can just to keep my health going .. I get days when I’m not as spritlely as some but it releases endorphins so this is a big help as I’m 60 in Oct … I don’t think I’m superior to anybody .. just want to keep blood pressure down and live longer and be with my family .. lots of grandchildren 😎🥰

Where was his compromise though? Why doesn't he pick up extras on his way home if you text him? Why doesnt he put money in a kitty for you to get some taxis? Who walked his dog before you? Why doesnt he spend the money he is saving on your share of the rent to make your life easier?

There a lot of cons for you for moving in and a lot of benefits for him. Apart from his incredible company, what are you getting from this? Apart from tired? What is the long term plan?

I have a huge amount of sympathy for you, I have a car and I still find a lot of walking a struggle. Poor you OP.

You will be as fit as a fiddle! I used to walk or cycle everywhere, public transport longer distances. Didn't think twice about it but now post car it's so easy to become lazy. Good on you and I do believe it would be nice of others to offer lifts to help out when meeting. X

You l must be wonderfully fit. Have you considered buying a bike with panniers back and front. I could get most of my shopping in those panniers .
I then progressed to a small motor bike. It was eventually stollen, which my friends thought was a blessing in disguise. 😄

I feel you, I had to walk 30 minutes to work, which was down hill but coming home after a shift, like you was on my feet, it is knackering, up hill that seemed to get steeper after work. Or a 10 hour night shift, walking home was brutal.
We have some buses, but only 1 that comes up to ours, which is only every 39 minutes. The other buses mean a 10 or 15 minutes walk up hill, a steep hill.
With shopping it's a nightmare, I have a trolley with wheels, to help with heavy stuff, but the last few days have been tough in the Sun, there isn't much shade up either hill. You could feel the sweat rolling down your back, my partner can drive, but we cannot afford to buy one and would struggle to run it. I am glad when I make the bus, that is is only a 5 minutes walk home, (downhill) because we get off at a stop, that is nearby bit, downhill from our house.

I’d get a moped if I were you. More difficult to steal than a bike, and gets you about nicely. 50cc and you’ll find the whole area opening up like never before. If you can ride a pedal bike you can use a moped/small scooter.

Acknowledgment from whom? I don't understand your post! Yes, that is a lot of walking. But who do you feel is not appreciating it? Do you want people from work and family to suddenly turn to you and exclaim admiration?

Or are you just having a rant? That i can understand.

People like you are infuriating OP. You have a big old moan, helpful people make lots of helpful suggestions.
Then your answer to each and every one is ‘no’ for some random reason or another.

I’m not sure why you need an acknowledgment either. I didn’t learn how to drive until I was 39. I survived. Walked everywhere and didn’t find it particularly taxing. I appreciate you may feel differently but still don’t understand why you need external validation

Completely agree. I nearly felt for that trap myself when I first moved in with my partner. The truth is, yes he works a lot but somehow he managed to feed himself, do his laundry, clean the house and walk the dog when he was single. So can the OP’s partner, I’m sure

Just joining the thread to tell you can buy a cargo bike for dogs because they deserve fun too!!

I don't drive, have never been able to overcome the anxiety, or afford it. I work 10 minutes from my job, near buses etc. I get trains. My 3 children and I biked when they were little...we kept them in the house...I am only finding it hard now my daughter lives way out in the country, 30 pounds taxi each way to get there.
It can be hard but it sounds like you will be changing things for yourself soon Hang on in there!

Well apart from your 30 mom walk to and from work none of those issues are insurmountable? Until very recently most familes had only one or no cars. My dad as a child had to walk an hour each way to school over fields, he would often walk 45 min to work in the dark early mornings. I used to walk half an hour each way to a train station to catch the train for work then 15-20 min the other side. Did this for 20 years. I would walk the dog and get son to childcare some days and my DH would do others (sometimes he was away with work for a few nights each month)

your DP can walk his dog sometimes he can go shopping for food, easy to do one weekly shop - we all managed it in covid) in the car. I can’t think of a single rink I’ve needed an impulse buy like covid. Plan it so you buy it when he’s around.- what did he do before you moved in walking his dog, getting food?

Do you moan about this a lot? Your life is really not hard.

get a cheap bike and some tarpaulin and a bit of rope, stick it in the garden.

Very hard work!! I didn’t have a car until I was 25 when I fell pregnant but moved out when I was 16 so cycled to/from work and walked pretty much everywhere else up until then. I got a bike with a basket on the front to help with grocery shops/somewhere to put things when I went out etc. I’d highly recommend that! I also got one of those bags on wheels (like the ones grannies have🤣), but I got a really nice looking wicker one from Zara which I loved! Xx

E scooter?

I've no idea why you would want acknowledgement!
You've made your own choices and need to adapt your lifestyle accordingly.
In your situation either a bike
Move
Change jobs
Pay for Taxi’s
I can't drive due to disability so my choices are made to accommodate that.. can't walk far either, so I chose to live in a quiet spot off the town centre and use taxi/ train/ buses and shop online when necessary
When I got to the general hospital 10 miles away it costs £35 as I'm just exhausted otherwise

Completely cuckoo - I didn’t drive until I was 30 and then only out of necessity and because I could afford to buy a car at that stage of my life

Take your bike indoors, the Dutch all do this
hang it up on the wall

Well done! Just think how much fitter you are than all the people that drive everywhere