Thinking sports day is awful

[Toarrie]

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners? They have to run in front of loads of parents but schools wouldn’t dare making slow learners read to loads of parents.
Trying to console a very upset 5 year old who can’t understand why they don’t do competitions for the things they are good at.

now I completely understand not everyone can win but our school didn’t even do races by ability so put in 1 very slow runner with 4 that represent the school competitively

@lifeturnsonadime you cannot underestimate the effects of humiliation in PE on a school refuser. I know several people who avoided school because of PE and the horrors of being crap at it.

It was THE reason that I really hated secondary school. I was an academic student, but my poor performance in PE and sport affected everything from social status to self confidence and body shame (I had big boobs which also made it all the more humiliating). Shame really because what could have been happy days was ruined by the ritual humiliation of PE, being last to be picked on teams, slow hand clapping on sports day and children taking the piss when my boobs wobbled as I ran. This is terrible for some kids.

Sometimes it’s the only chance for some kids to shine at school. My kids are shit at sports but they’re very bright and will shine in other ways. I don’t think there’s any harm in it.

@lifeturnsonadimeyou cannot underestimate the effects of humiliation in PE on a school refuser. I know several people who avoided school because of PE and the horrors of being crap at it

Actually I can. Because I have 2 school refusers one who hated sports day and the other who didn't.

The one who hated sports day (sensory issues and never picked and when she was came last) now plays a sport for the county as a teenager. I never let her feel a failure because she came last in a school race.

My dc love sports day. Both have SEN and both come in last in the races by a long way but everything is inclusive and they enjoy taking part. Sports day should be fun for everyone.

It's a great opportunity to talk about taking part, enjoying something just because you like it not because you are good at it, practicing new skills, learning to be a good sportsman.

But it being a competition and mandatory means kids aren't doing it just because they like it.

There are lots of none competitive outdoor activities that are much more fun than being made to run a race you know you'll come in long behind the last runner.

@lifeturnsonadime so because of your child's experience that means it's the same for everyone? Yeah right. small, blinkered viewpoint.

not to mention you just spectacularly dismissed my own first person experience as meaningless because it didn't fit into your small paradigm.

Exactly.

Sports day put me off sports for life. That isn't an unusual experience, sports day should encourage all children to enjoy exercise and being active.

No not at all, but thanks for the personal attack.

It is not a small blinkered viewpoint to say that constant educational tests in primary school are more harmful to children with additional needs than a child losing a race at sports day. Most educators would agree : )

Ok so did you or your child school refuse because of an annual sports day?

that's awful? Wouldn't it have been easier just to have had the child opt out if that one issue was causing the refusal of their entire education?

@lifeturnsonadime It wasn't a personal attack. I was pointing out that that particular VIEWPOINT was small and blinkered. Completely different.

"@lifeturnsonadimeyou cannot underestimate the effects of humiliation in PE on a school refuser. I know several people who avoided school because of PE and the horrors of being crap at it

Actually I can. Because I have 2 school refusers one who hated sports day and the other who didn't."

I was pointing out the inaccuracy of your dismissal of sports day as supposedly not humiliating or damaging. Which in your comment above you inferred.

If you read the comments above in this thread you will see testimonial after testimonial telling you their experience was otherwise. That it caused lots of damage emotionally and mentally to them and turned them into school refusers and put them off sports for life or a long period of time.

But you're happy to dismiss it because your particular child had a different experience.

Great post!. Yes, my school was similar. I used to get answers wrong on purpose to try not to stand out. Being crap at sport was the icing on the cake. I think many schools were not like this and respected academic ability?
All the people who think not liking sports day was about a bit of disappointment. It was about what that meant to your peers.

I've later discovered I was hyper mobile, so was never going to make my wobbly joints work quickly enough for most competitive stuff. I needed to be doing gentle strength based activity (which I now do a lot of) but no one knew that back then.

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@lifeturnsonadime I had several friends who refused to go to school because of the negative impact of sports, PE and sports day. Not just sports day as a whole but it was a big part of the picture.

That it caused lots of damage emotionally and mentally to them and turned them into school refusers and put them off sports for life or a long period of time.

Please demonstrate who has said that failure to win a race has turned their child into school refusers? I must have missed that post?

I have seen posts which say their child has been put off sport, which is a terrible shame. There are sports for everyone. My dyspraxic teenager has worked really hard and is now representing her county at her chosen sport despite failing to win at sports day in primary school.

But otherwise they were fine with education? I've never ever come across that and I've been a part of the school refusal community (not one anyone would want to be in) for the last 6 years.

@lifeturnsonadime

"Sports day put me off sports for life. That isn't an unusual experience, sports day should encourage all children to enjoy exercise and being active."

"I had several friends who refused to go to school because of the negative impact of sports, PE and sports day. Not just sports day as a whole but it was a big part of the picture."

@lifeturnsonadime it must be great knowing and understanding everyone in every school.

I know so many people who bunked off or refused to go in on sports day, me included. AFAIK that counts as school refusal. I'm sure many in this thread

Also you're picking out the school refusal comment when it was part of a wider comment about the damages of sports day and competitive PE in particular.

"That it caused lots of damage emotionally and mentally to them and turned them into school refusers and put them off sports for life or a long period of time."

And PE As a whole was and is a ritual humiliation for so many people that it does cause children to refuse to go into school on a regular basis.

So don't dismiss others experiences on the basis of your own very limited experience is what I am trying to say.

The second came after my post asking for where it was in the thread. It hadn't been mentioned before!

I fully accept that people have said on here that they or their kids were put off sports for life and that is a shame.

As parents we have a responsibility to frame things in the best way possible. So a child may be crap at running but might have great hand eye coordination or at team sport. A child who is rubbish at team sport may be the fastest in a running race.

My dyslexic / autistic teen who school refused because he was finding the constant spelling testing / time tables SATs traumatic & didn't step a foot in school between February of year 7 and year 11 and did his GCSEs at our dining room table is now excelling at 6th form and has plans to go to university.

We need to frame things differently, if as parents we say these things are humiliating we are limiting our kids, whether that be sport or education.

*I'm sure many in this thread have done the same (should have said).

I know so many people who bunked off or refused to go in on sports day, me included. AFAIK that counts as school refusal. I'm sure many in this thread

it's not school refusal, school refusal is emotional based school avoidance, it is really damaging to parents and children. It can happen at any time. It is not that the child won't go to school it is that they can't because it is too traumatic.

So don't dismiss others experiences on the basis of your own very limited experience is what I am trying to say.

Christ on a bike, you think that bunking off school to miss PE is school refusal and are telling me MY experiences are limited!

It's awful that some school sports days are making parents and children feel terrible.

Luckily our school has lots of fun races for those who aren't strong at running. There's also throwing and jumping events too.

All the children are supportive of one another so the atmosphere is very positive.

I was illustrating the point that PE and sports as a whole (not just sports day) are a big issue with school refusal.

You're picking up on this point and overfocussing on it, but if you read my posts, but my main point was that the format of sports day is emotionally damaging to some children which you seemed to be disputing, even though it was my and many others' experience that it was.

I guess we have to beg to differ here.

Why does it have to be a competition? Children can suffer and have bad experiences of school and be completely put off for different reasons.

It usually isn't just losing 'a' race either. It is losing every single race, usually it is combined with PE lessons where they are always picked last and the other children complain, sigh etc if they have to be on the same team as the child.

I hate it too. At my school it was an opt-in thing, no-one was expected to take part and the only spectators were the other competitors. That felt better. My daughter's primary is horrendous. Not only do they have all the races (which don't include "fun" ones for less athletic kids) but also a "prize giving" where all the Year 6s get a few awards and 10 or so from each class get awards (so 2 attainment, 2 effort, 2 resilience, 2 citizenship and 2 all rounders) For a child who comes away empty handed to sit through that, probably in their baby mind thinking they are the only one to be missed out (and actually it is statistically possible that one child in a class may be the only one to miss out depending how the races go) is quite cruel and runs the risk of "losing" them when they decide early on they're obviously unworthy and may as well not try.