Thinking sports day is awful

[Toarrie]

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners? They have to run in front of loads of parents but schools wouldn’t dare making slow learners read to loads of parents.
Trying to console a very upset 5 year old who can’t understand why they don’t do competitions for the things they are good at.

now I completely understand not everyone can win but our school didn’t even do races by ability so put in 1 very slow runner with 4 that represent the school competitively

Do you know what’s worse than sports day? Having to go and watch sports day.

I can’t believe some of the comments on here. If your child is traumatised by running for a few seconds on some grass you’ve got bigger issues than sports days. If you believe it’s going to scar them for life then just keep them off, but that just seems to be classic snow plough parenting. It’s ok for kids to be upset sometimes, not everything is life is going to go their way.

You have spectacularly missed the point. It's not traumatic to run on grass. It's massively anxiety inducing to he made to perform in front of an audience doing something you know you are crap at. It's more like being forced to stand on stage and perform in front of an audience when you have a speech impediment and most adults would find that hugely stressful.

I've been through 13 years of Primary sports day (DS2's Yr6 one was during covid restrictions). The school runs a traditional day of events - running, egg and spoon, sack etc and from where I was sitting (all day!) the kids celebrated supported all their house mates regardless. The house captains (teachers) made sure that every participant was rewarded with praise. The winners were applauded, the rest got a massive well done, the encouragement some of the less physically able kids got was lovely to see. I have lived in this village for 25 years and there is no talk of traumatised children or sports day being an awful event.

I think if people don't learn how to deal with friendly competition (winning with grace, coping with a loss, disappointment, supporting everyone, being in a team) as children then you risk creating adults who simply cannot handle those things.

Isn't it better that a crying child is comforted by a kind teacher and their peers and sees that the feeling passes and that losing that race doesn't define them as a person, rather than a 16 year old experiencing such feelings and being completely overwhelmed?

This is a brilliant post, and if you went to a strange school, so did I, although I suspect that it's actually the norm. Being academically able at school (particularly secondary school) was not a cool thing or something you wanted celebrating, whereas being in the sporty gang was heralded as the ultimate thing. You didn't want to receive an award in assembly for your brilliant history coursework because you'd be mocked about it for the rest of the week, it was a lot easier if no one knew that you came top.

School PE, sports day, cross country, etc all ruined my relationship with sport and exercise. I thought I couldn't do anything and I still have a hard time now if someone is trying to show me how to do something because of how that felt like humiliation as a child when someone would repeatedly try and get me to throw or catch or jump in a particular way and I just couldn't get it. This happened twice a week in PE class in front of all my peers, and the fact I was awful at it but doing well in the academic subjects just gave those who wanted to mock me more fuel. I've since found sports I do like and am ok at, but this took a long time and I still much prefer to do those things alone because doing exercise in front of others still makes me revert back to being 13. This isn't a good way to build a nation with healthy attitudes to exercise.

I imagine adults who were non-academic might feel this way about adding up a bill or trying to order a meal in French but you hear "I was rubbish at Maths, languages, etc at school" all the time like it's a badge of honour.

I still did everything that was compulsory, and it's definitely not made me more resilient.

I don’t see how it’s any different to other awards schools give out or putting work up on walls for parents to see. The argument about reading in front of parents is IMO nonsense because it’s not the same thing, it’s not like there’s a reading Olympics that people watch. If you really think it’s going to emotionally scar your poor kids just keep them off, but personally I think you’re just teaching them to run (pun intended) away from a problem. I just tell ours to do their best, which is what I tell them in everything.

All of that is possible without forcing sports day on the children who would rather not do it.

PE lessons
sports outside of school
playing board games with family

It's bonkers to think the option is forcing sports day or a 16 year old who has never experienced losing before.

These are very advanced 5 year olds. Representing the school competitively in running and also ruminating on why the school doesn’t hold competitions to meet their specific skill set.

what sort of school is it?

Sports day celebrates something away from academia and I’m all for that. I say this as a uni lecturer so academia is my whole career. I still think things away from that are important and should be celebrated in equal measure to academic pursuits. It’s a confidence boost for kids who might not be so academic but are sporty. Also, kids need to learn how to lose.

I’d say let children decide what activities they want to do. Then those that are brilliant can shine and those less good/don’t want to could do fun physical activities. Ultimately I think the most important thing is encouraging an interest in fitness rather than putting children off sport

So would you make rock stars times tables and spelling tests optional too, how about SATs?

Because those activities can put children with additional needs like dyslexia off education for life?

I personally think that the damage that those activities can do to a child's education are at least as significant as the damage that not winning a race might do to a child.

Sorry, but I think it's important for all children to realise that they can't be good at everything.

Personally, I think it's nice that little James, who is really sporty, but is also the slowest reader in the class, and who has to be called out every afternoon for interventions, gets the chance to be the best for one day a year.
And little Thomas, who always gets 10/10 in his spellings and has a bedroom papered with certificates, gets a chance to experience NOT being the best.

I feel like we do our children a disservice if we shelter them from this once a year thing.

I wouldn't force children who struggle with spelling to take part in a spelling bee in front of the school and parents.

I wouldn't force children who struggle with tests/exams to take their SATS with parents sat watching and cheering.

Those would be the same to me.

Sports day should be a fun day for everyone, regardless of ability, with both team sports and individual events as well as some novelty events for the non-sporty to enjoy.

I dont see why the parents should be involved with it all though. That just puts pressure on the kids. As you say, they dont cheer them on in the classroom. Not to mention all kids who are disappointed when their parents cant make it.

I don’t want it cancelled. That would be a great shame. Not all dc are overly sporty but they get to do well with each of their abilities.

True and I imagine a child who is OK with PE lessons, other sports and board games will also be OK with sports day, unless the school is shaming anyone who doesn't win.

Then you clearly don't have children who were damaged by those things because they are set up to fail.

I do.

They are not a mark of intelligence they just indicate a child learns differently.

The children who fail at these tests know who they are so do their peers (and the parents) .

and little Sarah who is a slow reader, a poor speller but is also not in the least bit sporty?

Or little Oliver who gets 10/10 spelling, is incredibly academic but is also incredibly sporty and a good all rounder?

I risked the wrath of the nuns and just refused to run. I couldn’t see the point in coming last. My mum still talks about it.

Is that not a separate issue though in terms of how to teaching should be done?

for sports- I was rubbish at sports and hated sports day but my daughter is great and loves it. I don’t have strong opinions either way but think those that are skilled deserve to properly compete and those that aren’t should be able to enjoy physical sports and not be put off

I'm dyslexic. I was that dyslexic child but I was also the child who was a slow runner.

I was able to get support for my dyslexia eventually and as it turns out, I'm actually quite academic. That support obviously isn't there if you aren't sporty though.

Is that not a separate issue though in terms of how to teaching should be done?

Yes indeed but I very much doubt anyone whose child came last in a race ended up school refusing as a result because their anxiety was so high that they couldn't cope!

I just don't think sports day is a big deal.

Kids who face daily anxiety in school are told that they need to be resilient and are told they are naughty or lazy if they don't comply.

Seems that the consensus on here is that it's OK for kids to be traumatised by education but woe betide they come last in a race!

I think the thing here is children with dyslexia or other learning needs are catered for to some extent within schools via TAs or support staff or specialist support. And importantly they are not forced to do spelling tests on a stage in front of an audience, nor are their SATS results circulated around the rest of the class.

Children who are crap at sports are forced to run in front of the whole school and parents, exceptions are not made for them and they don't get extra support for being crap at sport. This can lead to humiliation, slow hand clapping, shaming from the other students etc and embarrassment that parents are there.

Primary seems more inclusive but at secondary being "good at sport" really matters in terms of social hierarchy. Therefore you cannot underestimate the damage being forced to do it in front of an audience can do to your self esteem and your reputation. Teens especially love to shame other teens if they are not good at sport.

So we wouldn't make dyslexics do a test on stage, why make children with poor sports ability do it either? totally unfair. Maybe what would be better would be an optional sports day with alternate activities for those kids who don't want to participate - e.g. group yoga class, water games, non-competitive stuff.

I think the thing here is children with dyslexia or other learning needs are catered for to some extent within schools via TAs or support staff or specialist support.

It would be great if this were true but with funding cuts many dyslexic children struggle to even get diagnosed, let alone get support.

In primary school, a good school will generally have a range of events which don't all necessarily favour the fastest runners or aren't solely focused on speed, such as the egg and spoon race and so on, and maybe even some games that require non-athletic skills like maths. A sports day which boils down to who can run the fastest isn't very well planned in my opinion and is bound to be upsetting for the children who aren't fast runners.

But at the end of the day, some children are just more sporty than others and I think it's probably important for them to learn to accept that as a neutral fact (not a failing on their part) and to discover what their strengths in other areas might be. Coming last in a race is disappointing but I don't think it necessarily has to be traumatic unless its made so by the people around a child, such as the school or indeed parents making the day all about winning or other children being allowed to laugh.

I'm not sporty in the least but I have happy memories of primary school sports day because I think it was very well thought out and the day ended with everyone getting ice lollies regardless of how many points each team had won. Secondary school sports days were unfortunately not so happy as it was all about winning and everybody was supposed to do at least one event.