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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thinking sports day is awful

272 replies

Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:08

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners? They have to run in front of loads of parents but schools wouldn’t dare making slow learners read to loads of parents.
Trying to console a very upset 5 year old who can’t understand why they don’t do competitions for the things they are good at.

now I completely understand not everyone can win but our school didn’t even do races by ability so put in 1 very slow runner with 4 that represent the school competitively

OP posts:
powerpufff · 11/06/2023 23:44

Lateliein · 08/06/2023 23:11

Buckle in you've got years of this ahead. It's one day, who cares. Kids need to learn they can't win everything 🤷

This.
We cannot always opt out when things get hard .... I did sports day my whole life and I was last in cross country every single time... I was a terrible runner - It did not damage my self esteem - I knew I could do other things well and my parents encouraged me not to " opt out" - I thank them.

GlucklicheTage · 12/06/2023 00:05

Screamingabdabz · 11/06/2023 23:34

It’s convenient to come out with this argument. But it’s complete bollocks. Humiliating children does not build resilience. It builds humiliation, shame and low esteem. But you crack on in your fantasy land where you think it’s great for non sporty kids to be institutionally and publicly shamed and lose their dignity on an annual basis.

Don’t worry it won’t last long.
They can sit on the sidelines and avoid it all when they get to senior school.
They will survive and be all the better for it.

GlucklicheTage · 12/06/2023 00:05

powerpufff · 11/06/2023 23:44

This.
We cannot always opt out when things get hard .... I did sports day my whole life and I was last in cross country every single time... I was a terrible runner - It did not damage my self esteem - I knew I could do other things well and my parents encouraged me not to " opt out" - I thank them.

Exactly !

HerRoyalNotness · 12/06/2023 00:08

ContinuousProcrastination · 11/06/2023 20:11

Resilience is quite often code for 'puts up with sht well*

Of course it bloody is and its an important, valuable trait of humanity not to crumble when the going gets tough. Because we need the person who picks them self up and plants more crops when the first lot fail, not the person who turns into a blubbering mess over it. Surviving life requires coping with a lot of shit, from illness, to bereavement, miscarriages, bad luck, losing every race on sports day really isn't a big deal and thats the message you want to teach your DC

Great message!

teach them about personal bests. My youngest has started swimming and is not very fast but we talk about how she was
faster than her time last week, she is improving which is the point if you’re not a superstar

Dazedandbemused0 · 12/06/2023 06:11

Children need to learn that some people are good at different things. Should we get rid of academic evaluations (projects, exams, and so on) because some students aren’t academic? Should we cancel all school performances because some kids can’t sing? It’s healthy and good for a child’s development to learn and understand that 1) everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and 2) sometimes in life they will have to do things that they don’t like and aren’t best at.

Outofthepark · 12/06/2023 07:08

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:11

Is your son more academic? Sports day can be great for kids who aren't good in the classroom but can run fast. The kids who don't win best work sometimes get the sports medals.

Not everyone can be good at everything.

Doesn't work that way that you're great at one or the other, spare a thought for those of us who were average at both 😄

Saying that I know two teens if my friend who love a certain sport and are bloody great at it but school don't offer it (no schools do) so they continue to feel crap at sports day every single year and always will despite being great in another sport context. School sports day is shit and definitely needs a rehaul!!

Haven't read the thread but I'm guessing there'll be loads of comments about 'resilience' lol.

lifeturnsonadime · 12/06/2023 08:35

Outofthepark · 12/06/2023 07:08

Doesn't work that way that you're great at one or the other, spare a thought for those of us who were average at both 😄

Saying that I know two teens if my friend who love a certain sport and are bloody great at it but school don't offer it (no schools do) so they continue to feel crap at sports day every single year and always will despite being great in another sport context. School sports day is shit and definitely needs a rehaul!!

Haven't read the thread but I'm guessing there'll be loads of comments about 'resilience' lol.

I know it doesn't work that way.

But having parented a school refuser who started refusing due to daily humiliation through learning differently (undiagnosed dyslexia and sensory issues through ASD) I don't think that sports day is that much of a big deal tbh.

I'd hazard a guess that those who are saying that sports day is the ultimate humiliation don't have children who have been broken by a school system that tests speed of spelling or tests maths in a noisy environment (rock stars times tables anyone?).

Add to that these children don't win the prizes for best work or get pen licences and all of their peers know this.

I know fully well that some of those children will also be average at sport but some might shine.

So no I don't have a major amount of sympathy with those who say that not winning a race is humiliating for their child (them).

KimberleyClark · 12/06/2023 08:46

Too many obese kids around sport and exercise needs to be championed and celebrated wherever possible

Yes but exercise doesn’t have to be competitive sport. Making children compete in sports they’re no good at is a sure fire way to put them off exercise for life.

BonnieBobbin · 12/06/2023 10:15

If the aim is to celebrate and champion sport then rewarding only the ones who are best at it, is counter-productive.
Celebrating and championing sport would be showing that everyone can do it and that it doesn't need to be competitive; that no-one is judging you because the point of sport and exercise is to be healthy, fit and have fun. The fact that so many people hate sports day proves that it doesn't work as an 'advert' or 'encouragement' into sport.
Lots of primary and junior schools have worked hard to create fun sports days. Some of that ingenuity needs to be applied as the DCs get older too.

Gwlondon · 14/06/2023 20:29

ThirdOne · 09/06/2023 12:21

To PPs that are saying that's it's the same as pinning all the best work on the wall of the assembly hall for parents to see, it's not the same! It's not just the best runners that are on show at sports day.., it's everyone from best to worst and they are raced against each other/ranked in order of ability in a public form.

I don't think many schools would rank school work in order and then display it on a hall wall and invite parents to come and publicly see where their child placed and then have lots of cheering, clapping and a medal/sticker for the winners??

What they do is place the best work at eye level and the bad handwriting, short pieces of work high up on the display.

KnickerlessParsons · 14/06/2023 20:41

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners?

It's no different from having to take a maths exam when you're crap at maths, or being made to do art when you're crap at that.

Sports day is an opportunity for kids who are good at running and jumping to shine, just like GCSEs are great for good scholars.

Lancrelady80 · 14/06/2023 20:57

Best sports days I have come across were not traditional at all. Ch were put in groups and parents followed them round as they did a carousel of activities, Olympics style, earning points as individuals. There were school teams and the team with most points (collected by individual children across several different groups) won. Bit of a faff to organise and collate points (would be much easier with tech now) but so much less pressure for the kids.

jajajajaja · 15/06/2023 07:34

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:11

Is your son more academic? Sports day can be great for kids who aren't good in the classroom but can run fast. The kids who don't win best work sometimes get the sports medals.

Not everyone can be good at everything.

But the academic dc aren't performing in front of hundreds of parents. It's completely different and I say that as a parent of 3 dc who were fine on sports day. There is a public humiliation aspect to sports day that makes it stand apart from other achievements.

jajajajaja · 15/06/2023 07:37

KnickerlessParsons · 14/06/2023 20:41

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners?

It's no different from having to take a maths exam when you're crap at maths, or being made to do art when you're crap at that.

Sports day is an opportunity for kids who are good at running and jumping to shine, just like GCSEs are great for good scholars.

I don't recall my dc sitting GCSEs in front of a couple of hundred spectators and then having their marks shouted out to all to hear. There is a public humiliation aspect of sports day.

strawberryandcreams · 15/06/2023 07:39

Same goes for kids who aren't too academically. I wish sports day was more competitive tbh. Then my child would actually get praised for once

x2boys · 15/06/2023 07:44

Yep.My son is neither academic or sporty in fact he hates sports at schools it's always bloody football🙄
Anyway he s 16 now and leaves school timm

x2boys · 15/06/2023 08:00

Tomorrow even ,maybe its high time they made sports at school.more enjoyable and inclusive to.all?

x2boys · 15/06/2023 08:03

KnickerlessParsons · 14/06/2023 20:41

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners?

It's no different from having to take a maths exam when you're crap at maths, or being made to do art when you're crap at that.

Sports day is an opportunity for kids who are good at running and jumping to shine, just like GCSEs are great for good scholars.

What about kids who are neither academic or sporty?

NerrSnerr · 15/06/2023 08:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

NerrSnerr · 15/06/2023 08:07

Sorry it's early- I misread about the mile and have asked for it to be deleted. What an idiot

greenstrawberry · 15/06/2023 08:09

always hated sports day and still traumatised from being slow handclapped by students and parents after coming last in the 1500m! Terrible and traumatising and should be adapted for kids.

greenstrawberry · 15/06/2023 08:10

"Making children compete in sports they’re no good at is a sure fire way to put them off exercise for life."

Yes this was true for me!!! I exercise now but only after a 20 year gap!!

SunnyEgg · 15/06/2023 08:11

We had sports day recently and it was a good mix for young dc

Most races were teams and they were just a muddle with five year olds having a go, things would get dropped or dc would run instead of hop or whatever, no one cared

But they also had one race for fast runners which most dc didn’t even watch but the winners could feel happy about

CoalCraft · 15/06/2023 08:47

Has sports day changed a lot recently. When I was in school (and I'm 28, so we're not talking decades and decades ago) it was all fun things like the sack race, egg (potato) and spoon race, pushing a dolly in a pram race, etc. It was just a bit of fun and I don't remember anyone getting upset.

Then by secondary none of the kids gave a shit, so 🤷

TrashyPanda · 15/06/2023 08:49

Lancrelady80 · 14/06/2023 20:57

Best sports days I have come across were not traditional at all. Ch were put in groups and parents followed them round as they did a carousel of activities, Olympics style, earning points as individuals. There were school teams and the team with most points (collected by individual children across several different groups) won. Bit of a faff to organise and collate points (would be much easier with tech now) but so much less pressure for the kids.

This was the format my pals very non-sporty kids hated most

parents were vocal in their dislike of it too.

just found it pointless