Thinking sports day is awful

[Toarrie]

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners? They have to run in front of loads of parents but schools wouldn’t dare making slow learners read to loads of parents.
Trying to console a very upset 5 year old who can’t understand why they don’t do competitions for the things they are good at.

now I completely understand not everyone can win but our school didn’t even do races by ability so put in 1 very slow runner with 4 that represent the school competitively

Surely a variety of competitive and non-competitive events shouldn't be too hard to organise?

In his last 2 years at primary DS wasn't allowed to run as he'd had both his hip joints operated on, so they got him doing stationary throwing events instead. FWIW he is now a sports coach and PT and in the former role he never lets the children select the teams themselves. By the time the lesson starts he has already arranged them into teams and merely announces who is on which.

Mines having the day off

I think there are a lot of parents on this thread who will always LET their children win monopoly or snap or whatever game they are playing rather than teaching them how to lose with grace.

Honestly, you are doing them no favours, I think quite a few on here didnt learn any resilience as a child themselves with the amount of posters saying they were 'traumatised' by sports day, I dont understand why you are now passing that on to your kids tbh.

@ZeroFuchsGiven I think there’s a huge difference between learning to lose a game with grace and being made to go out in public to compete at something you’re going to do terribly at.

If it were a mandatory public spelling bee or maths-athon, I think people would be whole heartedly supporting those who were against it (and probably running to the press)

I actually used playing board games at home as an example of a child learning how to lose before they've likely ever experienced sports day so no, not me.

Some parents also need to teach their children how to win with grace and not snigger at those who will never win.

I have a 6 month old. I will follow his lead but if he isn't sporty and it really upsets him he can skip it because it is just sports day, it doesn't matter. You can learn how to lose without an audience.

I had one DC who was sporty at primary school and one who wasn't. Both of them enjoyed sports day. Ours had lots of different things, eg egg and spoon, obstacle race, beanbag balancing race, some in teams as well. Then we all had a big picnic afterwards. Nobody cared or remembered who won what - sporty DC won tons, non-sporty DC never got anything. Didn't care. People seem to make such a fuss on here.

@ZeroFuchsGiven you're spectacularly missing the point. It's not about the losing it's about forcing non-sporty kids who might be awkward and uncomfortable with their bodies to do something on a stage where the whole school is watching. And teens especially are not forgiving of children who do badly in sport, they slow hand clap, they base their social hierarchies around the ones who are good at sport and exclude those who aren't. Maybe you never understood or experienced this dynamic because you were on the other side of it.

It's not even about losing. None of us are worried about our kids coming last. That's not the point here.

@ZeroFuchsGiven and to conflate being uncomfortable with sports day with "not letting kids lose at monopoly" is complete bollocks.

Frankly, life isn't fair. And in all honesty, I don't have a problem with kids learning that lesson.

And before anyone asks, I was the "last in every race" kid.

Then we can cancel sports day and just shrug and tell the sporty kids that life isn’t fair.

Why take things away from dc?

Let them do things they might be good at and enjoy

I actually don't agree with completely taking it away. I just don't agree with pp's attitude of 'well, life isn't fair', especially when it only seems to apply to those children who aren't sporty (which doesn't automatically mean that they are academic).

If some children enjoy it and are good at it, that's fine but not all children feel the same way. Competitive races shouldn't be compulsory at sports day.

DS is 16 now but his primary school did sports day in teams and every one scored points (counters that they put in plastic boxes) no matter where they finished so it gave a decent balance of competitiveness but not just focussing on individuals at the top end of the ability scale.

And teens especially are not forgiving of children who do badly in sport, they slow hand clap, they base their social hierarchies around the ones who are good at sport and exclude those who aren't.

This isn't my experience at all. My non-sporty teenage DS goes to an all boys school. Nobody takes the mickey out of him in this way, and he has lots of friends, some sporty, some not.

Agreed - I think a lot of these sports day issues are the usual teenagers being numpties at times.

Is sports day a bigger thing than it used to be? I certainly never won anything but I don't remember anyone getting upset about it when I was at school. Maybe parents shouldn't be involved.

I don't understand the "children need to learn they can't win at everything" comments either. That's true, of course. But it's not the kids who come 7th or 17th or 25th for example out of 30 who tend to hate sports day. It's the ones who come last. Every time. By a long, obvious way. In front of their peers and parents. I don't get why it has to be compulsory. There is absolutely no way a school would organise a singing competition, in front of he whole school, with parents there too where each child had to sing a solo and then they got ranked in order or beat to worst singer. Because it would be humiliating for the kids who cant sing. What's the difference? Why arent we calling for that, you know to show the kids who aren't academic OR sporty that they can be good at something? (I mean I know why we aren't and I don't actually want that either it was just an example - although if we did do that one of my DC would probably do quite well!)

More likely parents being numpties.

Because the other parents aren't coming in and watching children who don't do so well academically. It's a completely different thing.

Our sports day was awful. The fun sucked out, none of the things we remembered at primary, egg and spoon/sack etc we spent the morning watching bored kids balance balls on tennis rackets.

There was only 1 sprint and several upset kids who are not used to the roar of parents screeching. My son cried as he came third. He spent the evening upset. I told him I thought he was brilliant because to get up in front of all those people is something I couldn’t do. I also said neither dad or I won though we tried just like him. I said he was the bravest person I knew. That cheered him up.

but gosh the boredom..the fun sucked out..poor kids.

DD2 came home so dejected this week as "I came last in all the races" - this is a kid who is normally so resilient but an entire primary school career of coming dead last in everything has taken its toll now.

DD1 managed to throw the javelin backwards in hers!

Neither of mine are sporty in a "school PE lesson" way - but do a lot of things like martial arts at a fairly high belt level - which school sports totally ignores.

I hate it more for me who has to stand there and watch for hours ( large school and lots of classes).
As for children not being very good...well that's a life lesson. They may not be fast runners but they'll be good at something else..just like those who may not be good at reading are good at sports.
Don't see the issue. My eldest is good at running, youngest comes last everytime.