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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thinking sports day is awful

272 replies

Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:08

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners? They have to run in front of loads of parents but schools wouldn’t dare making slow learners read to loads of parents.
Trying to console a very upset 5 year old who can’t understand why they don’t do competitions for the things they are good at.

now I completely understand not everyone can win but our school didn’t even do races by ability so put in 1 very slow runner with 4 that represent the school competitively

OP posts:
Original poster
Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:24

Bucketheadbucketbum · 08/06/2023 23:23

OP it sounds like you don't like it because your child didn't win

Maybe try and teach them taking part and being active is a win and focus less on the result

Can't be good at everything

Too many obese kids around sport and exercise needs to be championed and celebrated wherever possible

No I am not bothered about them winning. I wasn’t sporty. I am bothered about them being sad

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:26

Screamingabdabz · 08/06/2023 23:24

We have these threads every year. The competitive dicks will come out in force and say how it’s good that kids to realise life is one big competition and so what if your loser kid is a big ol’ cry baby. Then there are the normal people who think this watered down hunger games of annual humiliation should have no place in modern education.

I'm not in the slightest bit competitive against other children but if you have a DC who has SEN and is absolutely rubbish at all of the academic stuff who enjoys sports day as it's their chance to be good or recognised at something you might see the value in it.

Not everyone can be good at everything.

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 08/06/2023 23:27

TomatoSandwiches · 08/06/2023 23:16

I think it's good for children, especially the ones that are great physically yet struggle with certain academic skills.
It's a great opportunity to talk about taking part, enjoying something just because you like it not because you are good at it, practicing new skills, learning to be a good sportsman.
Lots of valuable lessons if you approach it in the right way.

I was pretty shite at everything apart from PE so liked doing sports day etc. Even if it was to show off a bit.

I couldn't drop maths or English because I didn't like it or wasn't very good.
When I hit secondary, they made us all read in front of the whole class and I hated it but still 'had' to do it.

Everyone will be good at different things.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:27

Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:24

No I am not bothered about them winning. I wasn’t sporty. I am bothered about them being sad

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But some kids are sad because they don't win the academic awards or ever get a pen licence or other of the silly competitions they have in primary school.

piedbeauty · 08/06/2023 23:27

Christ. It's much better and more inclusive now, with jumping, running and throwing competitions.

Kids need to be more resilient and realise that they won't win everything (it's often not kids who are good at English and maths who are good at running).

Original poster
Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:28

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:27

But some kids are sad because they don't win the academic awards or ever get a pen licence or other of the silly competitions they have in primary school.

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Ok well that’s good they don’t have to perform those in front of all of the parents then

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 08/06/2023 23:29

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:27

But some kids are sad because they don't win the academic awards or ever get a pen licence or other of the silly competitions they have in primary school.

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That won’t be such a public humiliating spectacle though will it? With parents on the sidelines cheering and jeering. 🙄

131104E · 08/06/2023 23:29

But what about the kids who love sports day , I know it was my son’s favourite day in the school year

Not every child is academic and sport is their thing so it’s their chance to shine at something

Original poster
Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:29

piedbeauty · 08/06/2023 23:27

Christ. It's much better and more inclusive now, with jumping, running and throwing competitions.

Kids need to be more resilient and realise that they won't win everything (it's often not kids who are good at English and maths who are good at running).

We didn’t have any of those things just running and sack. Not even an egg and spoon

OP posts:
Refrosty · 08/06/2023 23:30

I dunno. At school I never won, but I still enjoyed sports day. I think it's a time for kids to shine at something other than academics, if they are so inclined. For the ones who don't win (which would be the majority of students) there's plenty to experience and learn on the day.

Even better when parents get involved and participate to show their kids that they can celebrate the winners without necessary feeling like losers.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:30

Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:28

Ok well that’s good they don’t have to perform those in front of all of the parents then

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You clearly never had a child who went through the humiliation of everyone knowing that their parents were never invited to an assembly to receive the certificate then did you?

I'd rather my child came last in a race that what my DC faced by not being recognised academically through sen which is no fault of their own.

Original poster
Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:31

131104E · 08/06/2023 23:29

But what about the kids who love sports day , I know it was my son’s favourite day in the school year

Not every child is academic and sport is their thing so it’s their chance to shine at something

And that’s great but those who aren’t great don’t get a chance to shine at all because nothing else is performed in front of the parents at 5!

OP posts:
Original poster
Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:31

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:30

You clearly never had a child who went through the humiliation of everyone knowing that their parents were never invited to an assembly to receive the certificate then did you?

I'd rather my child came last in a race that what my DC faced by not being recognised academically through sen which is no fault of their own.

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My child is 5! They haven’t had any of that

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:33

Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:31

My child is 5! They haven’t had any of that

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They will then, you need to get a thicker skin.

Topseyt123 · 08/06/2023 23:33

You aren't alone. I used to find sports days a ritual of utter humiliation.

My DD3 quite liked it, but then she was pretty athletic. Still is now that she is at uni. Her two older sisters were generally less sporty though, and disliked it.

Original poster
Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:35

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:33

They will then, you need to get a thicker skin.

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My skin is thick! I’m rubbish at most things and that’s ok, but I don’t think a 5 year old should be coming home crying after sports day.
imagine a 5 year old came home crying because they made them all read to their parents and those that were rubbish didn’t get a prize

OP posts:
131104E · 08/06/2023 23:35

@Toarrie
So do we stop sports days then ?

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:35

Screamingabdabz · 08/06/2023 23:29

That won’t be such a public humiliating spectacle though will it? With parents on the sidelines cheering and jeering. 🙄

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christ on a bike I never heard jeering at a schools sports day. The School should put a stop to that.

The children who never won an academic award or got a pen licence knew who they were though. My daughter is now 14, so a good way out of primary school but still feels the humiliation of being the only girl never to gain one. She is hypermobile and has other SEN issues that affects her writing.

SouthLondonMum22 · 08/06/2023 23:38

Bucketheadbucketbum · 08/06/2023 23:23

OP it sounds like you don't like it because your child didn't win

Maybe try and teach them taking part and being active is a win and focus less on the result

Can't be good at everything

Too many obese kids around sport and exercise needs to be championed and celebrated wherever possible

Forcing children who struggle with sports to perform in front of parents and always come last isn't going to do anything but put them off sport and exercise for life.

By all means, have the running competitive events for the children who want to run and compete but it shouldn't be forced.

It should be fun.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/06/2023 23:40

Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:35

My skin is thick! I’m rubbish at most things and that’s ok, but I don’t think a 5 year old should be coming home crying after sports day.
imagine a 5 year old came home crying because they made them all read to their parents and those that were rubbish didn’t get a prize

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I just think you need to explain to your 5 year old that they can't win everything.

Don't make them feel it's unfair as they will take with them that they have to win everything which is unrealistic.

There are prizes or not prizes in primary school for everything. Primary school was a horrid place for my DC because they didn't follow normal academic patterns.

Joebloggs12 · 08/06/2023 23:40

My daughters school has sports day set up perfectly. They compete for their school house groups (coloured tshirts for their house) and there are 'activity stations' set up around the school field in a big loop with gazebos in the centre.. they move around in their group to each station, one group resting at a time under the gazebos having a drink. There are things like long jumping into hoops, throwing bean bags the furthest, foam javelin. Parents follow their children around the outside of the loop. Once they have visited each station they take part in a relay and the adults / parents have a race if they want to and younger toddler siblings race. The points are added up and winners announced. Job done !

Divebar2021 · 08/06/2023 23:40

With parents on the sidelines cheering and jeering

Jeering? Are you sure about that? I can’t believe someone is complaining about sports day because their child is sad? Let’s just get rid of everything in case our children experience something other than delight. I’m not a huge fan of sports days and my DD is averagely sporty but has a friend with dyslexia who is very talented. I’m very happy for her to have an opportunity to shine just as some children got to shine in front of the school in a musical.

SouthLondonMum22 · 08/06/2023 23:41

131104E · 08/06/2023 23:35

@Toarrie
So do we stop sports days then ?

No, just don't make the competitive events compulsory.

Have some fun choice events to encourage exercise and a love of sport.

Original poster
Toarrie · 08/06/2023 23:41

SouthLondonMum22 · 08/06/2023 23:38

Forcing children who struggle with sports to perform in front of parents and always come last isn't going to do anything but put them off sport and exercise for life.

By all means, have the running competitive events for the children who want to run and compete but it shouldn't be forced.

It should be fun.

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Yes and in fact just because children are rubbish at running doesn’t mean they are rubbish at all sports! But they are being made to feel like they are

OP posts:
UneFoisAuChalet · 08/06/2023 23:42

Our primary school divides the children into teams with different strengths, so if say your child is on team green, the race/jump/javelin etc has to be completed by all the children in the team in order for them to win, so you cheer your child but also all the other kids on the team. This means different teams win so no one feels like the losing team.

I think this is great and fair. We just had our last ever sports day as our ‘baby’ is now going to secondary and I think of how different it was when my eldest was at the school when everything was ‘individual’ and parents were screaming like banshees and it felt like life or death if your child didn’t cross the finish in time. Also relegated to the bin are races that involve the parents. So 80s.