Thinking sports day is awful

[Toarrie]

First experience of sports day and honestly isn’t it just awful for the children who aren’t fast runners? They have to run in front of loads of parents but schools wouldn’t dare making slow learners read to loads of parents.
Trying to console a very upset 5 year old who can’t understand why they don’t do competitions for the things they are good at.

now I completely understand not everyone can win but our school didn’t even do races by ability so put in 1 very slow runner with 4 that represent the school competitively

My dc must have been lucky with their schools (have attended 6 between them for primary) because although dd isn't sporty she has enjoyed sports day because her friends do well and she enjoys cheering them on. She knows she is good in class where some of them struggle and is happy when her friends get to win and be happy.

Ds is very sporty and competitive but often struggles in class because he can't sit still. Sports day is his chance to shine, again his friends have always cheered for him and he celebrates them and cheers for the races he's not in.

I think it's important to build resilience and team work in children - they won't always win and yes, sometimes there may be an audience when you fail. It's fine!

Same thread, different year.

Honestly those moaning teach your kids some resilience, not everyone wins its a good life lesson imo.

It’s character building 😂

@Emeraldrings

The parents of the kids who are struggling academically are sitting knowing their kids aren’t doing well in subjects when other kids are getting awarded certificates / prizes at school ceremonies
Ceremonies that parents are invited to

Think we will agree to disagree on this matter
Need to go anyway , sons schools sports day and need to get his winning banner out the garage to display at the school 😃

DD2 has severe dyspraxia. Our first infant school sports day was marked by a twat grandparent of another child howling with laughter at DD trying her hardest at all the sports activities (which the amazing reception teacher had picked intentionally NOT to pit kids directly against each other for those reasons). Me back then as a not confident young mum didn't do anything - these days I'd have given some shit to the fucker doing that.

Fuck sports day. DD2 always knuckles down, tries and gives it her best shot and has phenomenal amounts of resilience, but she comes in last and it highlights her coordination difficulties. Likewise DD1 who is very sporty, but in other ways (she's a terrific kickboxer for example but she's like me - she cannot run fast at all and her body is just not built that way) has also been upset by it over the years. School compensate all they can with the "daft" races - space hopper relays being the best and they have also replaced the parents race with a space hopper one - but it's shit for the non-sporty kids. They're now at the stage thankfully where sports day is more a morning dossing about on the field making daisy chains with the odd half-arsing a race and not having to do Maths rather than anything big - but it has not been a fun few years for them.

This year we've sacked it off completely and booked a term time holiday. I'm done putting the annual self-esteem shredder over my kids.

When mine were at primary school, the sports day was really mixed with different activities. So it wasn't always the fastest runner who won etc. and it was done in smaller groups rather than whole classes. The kids seemed to really enjoy it, even the ones who didn't win. But the focus was much more on having fun than being competitive.

But if it's just straight running etc then I can see why some kids don't enjoy that.

4 that represent the school competitively

at 5 years old? Really?

Totally agree. My daughter has a beautiful singing voice and plays the piano - she is always a superstar in the school play and is often picked for solos in our church choir. On the other hand she can't add up or remember times tables for love nor money (like me haha) so usually does badly in maths, and she's not the fastest either so will never win a race (although she does do her best and congratulates her sportier friends). My son on the other hand would be on the A team of any sport he tried his hand to, but can't hold a tune for toffee (like his grandad haha). But he tries. Sorry but kids need to be aware of the things they are good and bad at. Teachers aren't rubbing their faces in it, saying LOSER LOSER (and if they are, it's another matter).

I'd be interested to know how many of the people who are really against sports day have kids who do ok academically? Because a lot of people seem ok with missing sports day due to it ruining kids' confidence but are fine with the daily reading, writing, maths that some children also struggle with. My eldest was bottom at maths, bottom at reading, bottom at spelling, bottom at everything. Every day. But he had to go to school and join in every day at all these things that all the other kids could see he was the worst at. There was no outrage that he had to join in every day like there seems to be outrage every year about one day of races or sports.

To PPs that are saying that's it's the same as pinning all the best work on the wall of the assembly hall for parents to see, it's not the same! It's not just the best runners that are on show at sports day.., it's everyone from best to worst and they are raced against each other/ranked in order of ability in a public form.

I don't think many schools would rank school work in order and then display it on a hall wall and invite parents to come and publicly see where their child placed and then have lots of cheering, clapping and a medal/sticker for the winners??

Exactly this. Sports day is public humiliation. There is no such academic equivalent. Also, what about the children who are neither academic nor sporty? There seems to be an assumption children are one or the other Some are both, some are neither. Anyway. Luckily at DD's school it is team competition rather than individual, so non-sporty DD is OK with it. But if she wasn't I would just keep her off school for the day. I hated it. It did nothing but put me off physical exercise, and it took me until I was 40 to start exercising / find something I enjoyed doing. School sports in general needs a complete revamp. Put the emphasis on fitness rather than sport/ competition.

Well, kids primarily go to school to learn to read, write and do maths, don't they? What would be the alternative - no education for your son? There is just no need to display someone's inability for everyone (including parents, other year groups and teachers) to see.

They aren't putting the bad work up and saying 'these are the people who can't do maths/writing/answer science questions' to all the chool and parents though.

Life in every single aspect is a competition. Easier to learn it young while you still have someone who adores you unconditionally to put their arms around you and remind you what you ARE amazing at. Sports day is just noticeable as parents attend but for those against it, your 5 yr olds are having wins and losses daily in the classroom and playground that would break your heart if you knew about. It’s life.

Sport is for some children the only thing they excel at, or are above average. That said, a range of activities, having some children to wave the starter flag, put out cones or other things, can make it less difficult for non-sporty children.

Not sure whether you need parents to attend either.

There is a lot of talk about resilience on this thread and how sports day fosters it. I have a child who hates sports day but daily shows me how resilient he is. He is resilient in the face of a parents on going ill health. He faces his own health issues with a resilience beyond his age. He has been given awards by the school for showing resilience in his learning which he also struggles with. This hasn't happened because he came last in the egg and spoon race.
Resilience is quite often code for 'puts up with sh*t well'

Not everyone will shine on sports day.
Not everyone will shine in life.
Some kids are good at everything, some mediocre some only one thing.

Sports day helps encourage support for others, resilience and yes learning to lose and how to deal with it.
Thats a good thing because for the academically bright, at least, life is
all win win for them once exams start kicking in. They will have their many days to shine and be all the better for learning that they can’t be good at everything.
Hopefully it builds a little humility which seems to be lacking these days with all these avoidance tactics.

It’s notable absence speaks volumes though especially when it’s parents evening ( 3 times a year in our school ) and all the parents see whose work is up.
In the classrooms, the hall, reception everywhere you walk.
Last time it was even in the toilets.
Lets rub it in shall we over and over again.

I think one day isnt much to ask for sports in the grand scale of things.

Because you don’t have to do maths in front of the entire school and parents. Sports days are torture for some kids.

And weekly spelling tests where results are broadcast to the classroom peers are torture for others.

Na yabu.

DS is a slow runner, and he knows it. But he's fucking epic at maths and you know what, I'm pretty sure when they are all fighting over timestable rockstars scores that's when he'll get to shine. I was always quite crap on sports day but had been raised to enjoy participating. Focus on your DC enjoying it as a fun day out if the classroom and how exercise makes your body feel good.

Resilience is quite often code for 'puts up with sht well*

Of course it bloody is and its an important, valuable trait of humanity not to crumble when the going gets tough. Because we need the person who picks them self up and plants more crops when the first lot fail, not the person who turns into a blubbering mess over it. Surviving life requires coping with a lot of shit, from illness, to bereavement, miscarriages, bad luck, losing every race on sports day really isn't a big deal and thats the message you want to teach your DC

I used to hide in the bathroom on sports day as a teenager and if my children don't want to do sports day I'll let them have the day off.

The academic equivalent would be having all children on stage to do timed sums in front of the entire school plus parents. It just doesn't happen.

Interestingly, the children who were academic were often mocked in school for being geeky, while nobody said a word about the children who weren't, because it wasn't cool to do well academically. On the other hand, the kids who were sporty were deemed cool by default, while the non-sporty kids were mocked for being shit at sport. I'm not sure if I went to particularly strange school but that's just how it was. A lot of people on here are talking about how academic kids are always praised and sporty kids deserve a chance to be praised, too - I'm not sure what kind of Enid Blyton schools you went to but in a lot of schools being academic in itself is enough to draw derision from classmates!

Bad memories of PE and sports day have set me up with a bad relationship with exercise for life as I associate it with humiliation. I will encourage my children to have a healthy relationship with exercise that doesn't involve being ridiculed by their peers.

Love this! 👆

It’s convenient to come out with this argument. But it’s complete bollocks. Humiliating children does not build resilience. It builds humiliation, shame and low esteem. But you crack on in your fantasy land where you think it’s great for non sporty kids to be institutionally and publicly shamed and lose their dignity on an annual basis.