Parents unite to tell children they can’t have a smartphone until secondary school.

[NeedToThinkOfOne]

Here’s the story:
https://www.irishtimes.com/ireland/education/2023/05/26/greystones-parents-agree-to-no-smartphone-code-for-children-until-second-level/

AIBU to think we should all be doing this, with ALL primary schools having a no phones policy to enable more groups of parents to unite within their communities?

Personally, I’d like that to apply at secondary school too until 16, but I realise that ship has sailed for this current generation.

I understand a phone for contact re safety for older pupils getting home or whatever, so I can see the need for a basic phone for calls only, particularly for rural school pupils. The real issues impacting children’s mental health are driven by social media, so it’s not just about the device obviously, but banning phone usage once on school premises for all secondary pupils would be a step in the right direction and with no peer pressure to have one at a younger primary school age, it could really make a difference?

Nope.

Oh well🙄

A licence is unfeasible. Do you actually want your tax money spent on policing that?

Parents can just not buckle to peer pressure or buy a telephone without the internet.

My son is 9 and I like that he can take his phone with him when on playdates and when outside playing.

So we don't all agree.

Ffs

The correlation is vulnerability.

Smart phones and Dexcom are life-changing for children and parents in these situations. It's allowed my daughter's best friend to have some autonomy back and her mother to have to reassurance to let her have more freedom.

We as a friendship group (very close, like family. Children all in the same class/school etc) have decided no phones until year 7. The children grumble but they are all in the same boat. We also have the same rules on sleepovers/alcohol/vaping/horror movies etc!

Actually this is true- the only little child I know who has a phone has it for this reason. Doesn’t use it for anything else but the system has been a God send for them.

A licence is unfeasible. Do you actually want your tax money spent on policing that?

Not a government controlled licence- more like ownership from the social media companies and app providers. They need clarity on the age use. If they want to run a social platform and allow under 16s in it, then they must hold responsibility. As a parent you would subscribe, like for Netflix or whatever to pay for the platforms if you wanted your under 16 to access it. As it stands, all access is free, children as young as 9 are viewing and engaging in content for adults, with ads served at your under 16s to allow them to have the app/social content for ‘free’.

As a PP said, it’s time for a reset. Shouldn’t that include age-restrictions, or better guidance for parents?

Mine got theirs for secondary school - old hand me down phones with no sim for some stuff before that at home but they didn't take them to school. They don't have to have them for their secondary - everything they can view / use their phone for can be done on a laptop, and if they are seen with a phone out on school grounds it's automatic detention. Two of my 14 year olds friends don't have smart phones, no one seems that bothered that they don't, but both do have their own, good, laptops at home. Mine share a laptop at home or use mine, which wouldn't be practical when checking their classes for the day or what ever in a mad morning panic. I also use the tracking on it in some circumstances - but always ask them first.

The negatives of allowing children access to the technology far outweigh the positives.

The world functioned fine before 2007, smartphones have been around for only a short time and they have ruined children's mental health.

I don't know if it's just my teenagers and their mates but there seems to be a shift away from the massive use of social media. They use their smartphone to socialise, listen to podcasts, listen to music, watch YouTube etc - which I don't think are actually that unhealthy if you compare it to adults watching tv and reading a magazine.

Plus mine need it for their bus ticket and their homework apps. I can also track them to check they've arrived at school/caught the bus/are near home. They've have been known to be told to take a photo of things in class or snap a QR code as well, although it's a strict "no visible phones" policy generally.

The world functioned fine before 2007, smartphones have been around for only a short time and they have ruined children's mental health.

Oh come on!

'The world functioned fine ...' argument has been used by generation after generation about each new invention - TV, air travel, cars...!

The human condition is to innovate & evolve, so developments will keep happening, and will have positives & negatives.

Phones have not ruined kids' MH, poor management of their access to web-based content has. It poses a challenge for parents but one that has to be met.

I don't think this is necessary. I am responsible for my children and didn't give my children a phone until I deemed it necessary. Mine didn't have one until secondary school and their school has strict policies about no phones to be seen during the school day. I don't need other people to parent for me.

I haven't rtft, so apologies if already covered, but if kids need to be contactable at all times, why can't they use a Nokia style dumb phone instead?

We (parents) are having a class meeting about this tonight as it happens

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/6f9c1032-0567-11ee-9bf2-8ca4db35d928?shareToken=e0c58d336b29f415d2d79d93dfde276b

DS14 had one in Y7. We live incredibly rurally, not only was the walk to the bus, and subsequent bus journey quite long, but he would have been completely isolated from his peers without one. It's all well and good saying use a laptop, but young people primarily use messaging apps to communicate, these wouldn't be available on a pc or laptop, excluding him from group chats or messages from friends making plans outside school. His phone is linked to our family account. I know his pin and he accepts there are regular spot checks. We have restrictions on our Wi-Fi at home but more importantly he has been taught appropriate behaviour and online safety from an early age. It's a parents role to do this, not a blanket ban on smartphones.
I'm reliably informed that young people simply do not message via conventional text messages anymore.

I think what needs to be done, is parents need to be more proactive in educating our children with online safety.

Kids probably know more about online safety than their parents do. It's not a lack of education about the risks (kids are told about that constantly at school even if not by their parents). It's that the education can't compete with the temptation and the peer pressure. Kids know what they're not supposed to do and why. They do it anyway.

Great idea. And I'm delighted that it is parent-led.

Its not personal information unless you can be identified.

But it is interesting to know the context you are coming at this from. I have found that generally opinions change depending on the age of children. e.g. parents of very young children generally have a different view on this to those with older children and teenagers.

We will make our own assumptions based on your carefully worded posts

@BodyKeepingScore I don’t want to be rude or argumentative, you sound very sensible but reading your post my thoughts were: why do children who have been at school all day and seen their friends need to communicate with them on the bus journey home? Also my DD17 communicates with her gang of 6 or 7 friends via text or FaceTimes them. To be fair she has said most kids are on Snapchat but it’s a constant stream once you go on there and she thought that would be way too stressful. My niece went on holiday for a week and had over 1,000 messages on Snapchat when she got home! She nearly had a heart attack.

I got DS a smartphone when he was in Year 6. It's nobody else's business really.

My DS2 is 8. He has an iPhone - as do pretty much all the kids in his class. He doesn't do texting, but he does spend a lot of time on WhatsApp video calls to his cousin who lives 400 miles away - when on said video calls they are basically chatting whilst playing the same Roblox games. Both me and my SIL are able to monitor what is going on as the iPhones both ends are run through our respective Apple IDs. Other than that, he uses it for playing Roblox or watching YouTube whilst we are in the car. That's about it. He doesn't take it to school (none of them do). Fortunately, there's no interest in SM as yet, other than me and him watching the odd TikTok vid.

That's what we did too. Family collective agreement. Actually I copy SIL's parenting on many things like this that she's experienced with her older kids and their friends. It's helped me avoid a lot of things I didn't even realise were a thing.