Parents unite to tell children they can’t have a smartphone until secondary school.

[NeedToThinkOfOne]

Here’s the story:
https://www.irishtimes.com/ireland/education/2023/05/26/greystones-parents-agree-to-no-smartphone-code-for-children-until-second-level/

AIBU to think we should all be doing this, with ALL primary schools having a no phones policy to enable more groups of parents to unite within their communities?

Personally, I’d like that to apply at secondary school too until 16, but I realise that ship has sailed for this current generation.

I understand a phone for contact re safety for older pupils getting home or whatever, so I can see the need for a basic phone for calls only, particularly for rural school pupils. The real issues impacting children’s mental health are driven by social media, so it’s not just about the device obviously, but banning phone usage once on school premises for all secondary pupils would be a step in the right direction and with no peer pressure to have one at a younger primary school age, it could really make a difference?

Theres no consistency across education authorities re use at classroom level for learning purposes. It shouldn’t be expected that every pupil has a smartphone (affordability for starters) but whose responsibility is it then for enabling access to apps or content that some children are not mature enough to handle. School or parents?

It’s not specific devices at issue here, it’s the access to content, social media, apps etc. You can only get that on a smartphone, not a basic phone. Read the article, the school is providing education around safe use of technology.

Our school has done this for years, children and parents sign a pledge in second class, Ireland children aged around 8.

So far with my second child in fourth class (10 years old) it has worked. Those with phones have the non smart ones.

My oldest has is 15, has a smart phone, no interest in social media. So I think the delay may have positively impacted on his and his peers engagement now. We seem to be hearing less about online bullying etc.

Large mix of friends and they seem to engage with activities more. It could be the personalities but a lot of us parents believe the fact they didn't have the smart phones until 13 may have been a factor. All are extremely digital literate, use ipad for school etc.

Both of mine have phones however I have strict parental controls on both.
No problems so far.
They're great for the children organizing with friends.
Both schools have a no-phone policy during school hours.

I'm comfortable with my children having phones. Im comfortable with the phones they have and the apps they use.

That's my decision as their parent.

I don’t agree, but my experience with my son having one has been good. He was a Snapchat fanatic but used other platforms sparingly. The biggest benefit was (and still is) the find my iPhone feature. He still uses my iTunes account so I’ve always known what was being downloaded ( and he asked before downloading any paid apps)

That’s really interesting @Marblessolveeverything about the pledge and the outcomes you’re seeing.

I really think this is a ridiculous notion, our DS got a smartphone phone just before year 6 after many discussions. We manage it as others have said with time limits, he has to request apps etc. This totalitarian approach of banning tjem by law before 16 or something is crazy, when did people stop taking responsibility for things. He’s had some issues but that’s part of growing up and dealing with things. Whether people like or or not technology is an ever evolving part of our world and not giving kids access to it will lead to time being woefully unprepared for the world they would suddenly be launched into at 16.

@NeedToThinkOfOne

So, how old are your children then?

My friend’s daughter got a smartphone a coupon of months before moving to yr 5 in middle school. She had time to get used to using it and messaging friends etc. The first year was a learning curve as girls can be dreadful to each other. Very close monitoring of her phone by parents sorted out a lot of problems. Now in year 8 and moving onto high school in September she is confident with dealing with problems accessing homework etc. If she had waited till year 7 to get one I think it would’ve been harder for her friendship group with all teenage hormones

I’m not suggesting banning phones. On a separate note, I’d like to see apps and social media use licensed to protect under 16s.

Suffice to say, if we were discussing vapes, smoking or drinking we could all call out the age restrictions and the support groups available. Yet here we are enabling access to smartphones due to peer pressure and what they can freely look at. The parents in Ireland are hoping to balance that, children can’t be banned from technology but surely we can support a limit on what they see at a young age?

My dc were about year 5/6 when they got theirs. They were definitely one of the last in their classes to have phones. I knew that for a fact as their friends would come in & ask for the WiFi password.
I found my sons only wanted to set up a chat with their friends so they could play xbox but my daughter was more social media. Our deal was they could have social media as long as me and their dad had access to it until they were older.
Ds2 had his the youngest purely because of lockdown and I wanted him to be able to speak to his friends. He would of been so lonely without it.
I also think some parents are too reliant on their dc having a phone. If one mom can't find her child on find my phone she will be a fb status asking if anyone has seen her son. He's 16 so it's a bit ott in my opinion.
I guess there is no right age and it's very circumstances dependant too.

My teen had her smart phone taken away at 14 and is now coming up to 16. She has a Nokia 510 so can still call and text. She moaned for a couple of weeks but now says she’s much happier without it as she’s avoided a lot of drama and bullying that’s happened within whassap groups and snap chat. Plus no looking at filtered pictures of models etc. I was worried it was going to affect her social life but that never materialised. She just makes arrangements by text and calls and nobody has left her out. It’s been so successful we’ve decided not to give the younger kids smart phones until they have left senior school.

My 16 year old has had a smart phone for several.years now ,it's how he keeps in touch with all his friends ,I don't think we can go backward with technology
he's recently been diagnosed with diabetes and is insulin dependent,he's had Dexcom,(continuos glucose monitor ) fitted
he needs a phone to use the Dexcom the App reads his blood glucose level
s ,very reassuring for me as I can check his levels easily
It's a fantastic piece of technology.

You maybe right about primary but at secondary it's essential more so now. My kids secondary school have a no visible phone policy though the day without staff permission. My dd currently yr 11 uses hers for revision, class messages, learning apps, homework alerts basically everything I use mine for related to work. School don't insist on lap tops now and can't fund one for each pupil. Both got phones for their 11th birthday so late year 6 and on dd we installed Google family. She had to get permission to install anything untill 14 which is when the block lifts. She has a social media presence but uses it very little. Main friends communication is what's app. Kids need to be able to use digital in this are and to do this at school like everything else.

There is a huge difference between throwing your hands in the air and saying "nothing I can do" and banning smart phones completely until secondary or even age 16 as some have suggested here.

The Internet and smartphones are part of life and they aren't going anywhere. They aren't a bad terrible thing that needs to be banned. They can be problematic. It's useful to learn to navigate these problems by using time limits, parental controls, parental supervision.

Roads can be dangerous but we don't ban children from roads, we teach them, ready for when they have to be independent.

My DC are 10 and 8 so no phones yet obviously. My understanding is that the apps children desire to use are all 13+.

We are going to try to hold out until 13 for that reason.

As a primary teacher, I see no positives in children having phones. Parents often say it makes them feel better that they can call or track their child but I personally don't see that as a positive, tbh. We have a landline so if my DC had to alert me they had arrived home, they could surely just call on that.

But, my DC are young (10 and 8) and still pre-phones so I can't say I have any parenting history in this area.

They are either with us, at school, at an activity or playing in the fields around us. They know not to go into fields with livestock.

My biggest worry is traffic - tractors, combines, log lorries, feed lorries, delivery vans, etc.

Smartphones and vaping are completely different.

There is absolutely no good reason whatsoever for any child or adult to vape. The only possible benefit I can think of is to quit actual cigarettes.

Smartphones are beneficial to our lives.

I’m just going to leave this here.

https://sapienlabs.org/whats_new/study-out-from-sapien-labs-links-age-of-first-smartphone-to-mental-wellbeing/

I live in the west of Ireland and in our locality at least, it's not the norm for primary age children to have phones. DS's friend has one for family reasons, but he's far more mature and now the novelty has worn off he barely bothers with it - it helps that he's got no friends to message I suppose.

DS will probably get one when he's in secondary as he'll be going to a school 10 miles away by bus, but it'll be strictly monitored and remain downstairs at night until he's at least 16.

Interesting, I watched something on television last night where the kids actually wish that phones were banned as it creates so much pressure and anxiety for them. If they are banned it takes the decision and need for peer pressure out of their hands.

I agree but it's a lost cause when by year 4 the majority of kids now have smartphones "to keep them safe". The irony!

I agree.

My son is 11 and due to be moving up to secondary in September. The rule with him and his brothers was that they would get a phone on their 11th birthday, which would have strict parental controls on it and DH would monitor.

Youngest doesn't even take his phone to school, but a lot of his friends do. There's been a lot of talk in his friendship group about how intense the WhatsApp groups can be - in one, one of the girls was calling and calling and calling one boy and leaving messages like 'when you said you were doing something I didn't think you'd ignore me'. His mum had to get involved in the end. Genuinely don't understand why they don't take the phones off them.

I don’t think banning phones is a good idea. It only makes them more appealing to children and someone is bound to get one from somewhere and they’ll all be gathered round it! My DS has had a smart phone for a few years he’s 10 now (it was an old handset with a free sim). He’s not bothered about it, hardly looks at it. All his friends have started getting them now (yr5) and they’re a bit obsessed. Sometimes there’s 400 odd messages on his phone when I check it. These are children who have been asking for phones for ages.

My DD had a phone from about yr4 too and she’s not really bothered either. She uses WhatsApp to keep in touch with friends but she doesn’t have TikTok or any other sm. She’s 12 and has never asked for those apps.

We talk to them both about online safety and stupid TikTok trends etc.

I think making children wait longer for something they will get eventually isn’t a good idea. Parents need to be responsible for what their children are viewing and be really pro-active in keeping them safe.

DS doesn’t take his phone to school and has never wanted to. DD does and is allowed to use it sometimes in lessons to look things up. She mainly has it to contact us after school if there’s a problem with the bus.

Off topic, but the story photo made me think of 'Motherland' with the token dad and the yummy mummy pushing herself to front and centre.

I don't know anyone who gave their kid a smartphone before senior school. Phone use is banned at our school until sixth form (unless it's an emergency and you ask permission).

I don't entirely agree with people saying "phones are here to stay, no going back". While they are here to stay, I think how we use them and how we let children use them will change hugely over the next few decades. We are starting to understand more about the effects of phones on young brains (well, all our brains)- I suspect by the time our children have children of their own, the free way we let kids use their phones, social media etc will seem as unconscionable as the way we now look back on things like smoking around children, travelling without car seats etc.